Our human hasn’t posted on our blog for over 6 weeks. We’re tired of all the excuses about how hard she’s been working, all the computer problems she’s had, and how tired she is. The fact is, our needs are not coming first — at least not all the time as they should be. Therefore, we’ve decided to look for a replacement human. Perhaps you know someone who would like to apply? Here are the qualifications:
- Must blog regularly.
- Must take daily pictures of us being cute and express appreciation that we allowed our photos to be taken.
- Must not be squeamish when we put our toy mice in the food or water bowls. We do it….regularly. And Mac floods the floors from time to time. Get over it.
- Must be willing to clean the litter boxes daily and wash them every 2 weeks…at minimum.
- Did we mention that this is an unpaid job?
- Must wash our fleece blanket collection at least once a month. We like all our bedding to be hung outside so it smells wonderful.
- Must be available at all times when we wish to play, be petted, get brushed, have snacks, or be entertained…none of this “please don’t wake me up at 2 am” silliness. On the other hand, must respect our boundaries when we don’t want anything to do with you. Get over that too. You’re not in charge.
- Must be willing to work hard (or be financially independent) in order to keep up our home and supply us with all the premium cat food to which we are accustomed and about which we will constantly complain. You must buy it anyway…even if we don’t always eat it.
- And did we mention that this is an unpaid job?
- Must keep the computer on and be willing to vacate it when we want to buy something or complain about our treatment on the blog.
- Must be willing to share your credit card number as we’re very fond of Amazon Prime. In fact, we need more toy mice, as the last batch is messy after too many trips into the food bowls.
- Must tolerate wide fluctuations in temperature — often in the same day — be unbothered by an absolute absence of sunlight much of the year, and not hate winter as it can last 5-6 months. And when it’s not snowing, it’s often raining. We can’t do anything about the weather. However, if you can, we’d really like to talk with you.