Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Bad Human

Yoga Mat as Cat-Enrichment Device

A few weeks back, the human finally got the last of her tropical plants dragged out onto the deck, which freed up lots of space in the “stove room” for her to layout her yoga mat, blocks, straps, and roller.

Of course, as these things go, the human hasn’t done much yoga, but the cats have been having a grand time with the mat, blocks, etc. In fact, Pepe so likes the feel of the sticky mat that he often can be found lounging on it.

It turns out that, after knocking over the formerly neat pile of blocks, the cats have been having a ridiculous amount of fun while the human flicks the small piece of fabric tied to the “fishing pole” in and out of the obstacles. They crouch down and pounce on their prey. They jump up on top of yoga blocks, and they even have figured out how to fish out the fabric on those rare occasions when the human manages to whisk it inside the roller. Mac, who usually is far too sophisticated to play with the rest of the cats has been inserting herself in the middle of the action and often has to be invited to share the toy with the others.

Sadly, the human has spent no small amount money on “expert-designed” cat enrichment toys over the years. However, most of those purchases have been consigned to the “what were you thinking?” pile that get recycled to other people with less fussy pets.

Still, the human is deeply pleased that her yoga blocks and mat are getting used by the kitties, who not only benefit by honing their hunting skills and keeping mentally sharp but also get some physical exercise as well. You just never know what will entertain a cat. <<<Certainly nothing you pay good money for will ever of interest for more than 10 minutes!>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Recovery Time

Corky the Banu bear came through his dental procedure just fine. The human collected him and brought him home for a rest. He’d had some teeth extracted, so no hard food for a week (and no roughhousing with his brother). That meant more alone time. Fortunately, he had medication that made him sleepy. Plus, he got lots of attention from the human.

Still, there was only so much incarceration time Corky was going to tolerate. The other cats would have to deal with eating crunchies in water for a few days. After his third dose of medication, Corky was free.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky has an(other) Adventure

It was Corky’s turn for a dental cleaning. Since the procedure would be done under anesthetic, he wasn’t allowed any food after midnight. That meant he had to be quarantined from the others the night before his procedure. (The angry ankylosaur is hell on wheels when he doesn’t have something to eat that he likes.) The next morning, the evil human scooped him up and placed him in a carrier <<<Stuffed me in a fabric box is more like it!>>> Off they went in the vehicle. <<<Never trust a human!>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Disappointed!

The human picked the wrong type of crunchies for her furry masters. They were very disappointed and let the 2-legged know that. The chastened human went back to the store with a promise to do better.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Return of the Bag Babies

The kitties had eaten their own breakfast and the human was eating hers. She noticed a takeout bag within reach and tossed it on the floor. Sure enough, Corky and Pepe came over to investigate. Pepe made it to the bag first and stuck his nose inside. <<<Potentially roomy enough to investigate.>>>

Initially Corky was also headed straight toward the bag, but got side tracked by Pepe’s bowl of breakfast. Of course, as soon as Corky paid attention to his food bowl, Pepe suddenly lost interest in the bag and prepared to move over and claim his property. <<<What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. You have a problem with that?>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Little Red Lion Kitty

Fireball adopted his best sphinx pose while patiently waiting for the human to finish her morning ablutions and head downstairs to dole out food.

<<<What takes her so long? Can’t she see we’re hungry?>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Camouflage Kitty

When the human walked in unexpectedly and startled him, Pepe had opted for the rare camouflage look on a black & white blanket in one of the kitty beds instead of digging an opening in the bedding and sliding under the blankets and sheet for a snooze. Fortunately, all the human did was snap a pic and then move on her way (no paws were petted or heads kissed), so the Pepster was able to return to his sleep. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Fireball Chills Out with the Human

It was early morning and not quite the time when the human had to drag herself out of bed. She was laying on her side when Fireball came up for his early morning siesta. The 2-legged’s duty is to hold the blanket up (letting out all the nice warmth) and wait for the Little Red Lion to slide under, turn around a couple of times, and then stretch out on the human’s arm while the 2-legged tucks the blankets around him. Usually, that leads to lots of furious scrubbing of the human’s hand and fingers while she tries to avoid his rough tongue by petting him. A little foot dangling ensued while the now wide awake human tried to take pics from above.

Fireball usually only stays 15 minutes. He heard another cat hop up on the bed and that was his cue to be on his way.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Twinkie Twins

Mac and Fireball were chillin’ in the big pink puff when the human walked in. (Apparently, the Merkitty was feeling generous and decided to share the puff with the Little Red Bee.) The 2-legged started snapping photos in her usual annoying way.

Fortunately, no one was dangling their paws out of the puff, so the human and her camera posed little threat. (Note Fireball’s prehensile curled tail?)

A while later the human came back upstairs and found that the twinkie twins had changed places. However, this time someone had brought a little green mouse up on the bed and left it right beside the pink puff. Neither kitty looked like they were welcoming of attention, so the human left again.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

How Could You Let this Happen?

As you can see from Mac’s exasperated look, during the night the evil human failed to respond to multiple kitty pleas for more crunchies, since there was plenty of other kinds of food around the corner in other bowls. By refusing to wake up and refill the bowl, the 2-legged servant has let a catastrophe unfurl once again. There are only 3 pieces of kibble in the crunchy bowl. How it happened that Mac and Corky were able to eat kibble out of the bowl when the sides and bottom started becoming exposed is a mystery in itself. (Perhaps all the food was eaten by Pepe and Fireball, who don’t seem to have such qualms about eating out of a partially empty bowl.)

Still, if the human knows what’s good for her, she’d best get that bowl replenished — and fast! The kitties are not quick to forgive such malfeasance.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Cats as Energy Harvesting Devices

Humans struggle to engineer photovoltaic cells that are more efficient at harvesting sunlight and converting it to energy. They really should talk with cats — especially cats who are largely black — as they’ve got the situation nailed. Here is Pepe demonstrating how efficiently he converts sunlight into energy that then causes him to run around like a banshee is biting his tail. Mac, in the background, takes a more passive (and dignified) approach to energy generation and storage.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

How to Sit Like a Lady (Kitty)

Sit up straight, use good posture, arrange your forelegs just so. Don’t forget the sardonic glare lest the human think it’s okay to try and touch your paws.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why Human Fingers Require Extra Washing

Everyone knows that humans are stinky creatures.

That’s probably because they have so much naked skin and also because they wash with soap and water. It’s clearly inferior to a spit bath.

Although it’s a thankless job, Fireball long ago took on the task of rewashing the human’s fingers and hands. In fact, he used to scoop up a finger in one of his soft little orange paws, clamp down with his claws, and scrub for all he was worth while the human howled in fits of laughter, since it tickled so much.

Fortunately, the human always tries to express appreciation after her bath.

Fireball feels satisfied about having contributed to the greater good of the human and household.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Inspector

Few appreciate the skills required and the responsibilities involved in being a box inspector.

First the outside must be completely sniffed. Then the inside must be completely sniffed. It’s important to know where the box originated and what it contained. How else can the house be kept safe?

Lastly, the box must be considered for its potential for sitting and snoozing. Is the bottom a bit springy? Do the sides have enough give to expand upon contact without collapsing? How hard will it be to turn around in and will all our body parts fit? This particular box, although a bit on the small side, does have potential.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky’s Adventures at the Vet

The bad human hasn’t posted in close to 2 months. That’s because we spent almost a month living a daily plumbing nightmare during a time when the 2-legged’s work schedule was really challenging. Nonetheless, the kitties, per usual, have been doing all sorts of cute things, which the human did record and now just needs to catch up posting about. Case in point, Corky had to go in for a checkup ahead of some dental work. He wasn’t very enthused about being put in a carrier and carted to the clinic, but he was a very good kitty nonetheless.

The first thing the vet tech did after we got him out of the carrier is put him in a curved tray and weigh him. The Corkster decided that he felt pretty comfortable in the tray and wouldn’t get out.

While we waited for the vet to come in, the human covered him up with the towel from his carrier, creating a burrito bear. The nice vet conducted his whole exam while Corky retained his spot in the curved tray of the scale. He even stayed there for his shot.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Happy 10th Anniversary Trio

A decade ago this afternoon, Caesar, Macaroni, and Fireball made the journey from their foster mom’s home to the new human’s. The poor kitties were so skittish at first, but eventually they figured out the two-legged was a big pushover and they could easily boss her around, which they’ve done ever since. While the trio is now a duo (with Caesar’s unexpected passing last October), Mac and Fireball are still a cuddle pair. Happy anniversary kitties!

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

It was Bound to Happen Eventually

Mac loves solving puzzles, so the human knew that eventually she’d find a workaround for splashing water out of the tall, straight-sided water bowl. And right on time, she’s done just that.

It took a couple of months of frantic splashing, but she was finally able to toss water outside the water bowl the other day. It’s unclear if that’s because the human overfilled the water level, making the liquid easier to dislodge, or if the Merkitty has changed technique and found a way to lift the water out of the bowl and deposit it on the floor.

For now, the human has pushed the bowl further back on the rubber mat and dish drying pad. However, the 2-legged will need to ponder the latest development and see if she can think of another way to outsmart the Plesiosaurus.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

‘Stache

The human walked by the bed, glancing in to see if anyone was in the big pink puff. Mac and Fireball were there.

From the angle the human first glanced at the cats, it looked like the ginger tabby had grown a black mustache.

Alas, it was just Mac’s whip-thin and long tail wrapped up, around, and front of the Little Red Bee’s face.

<<<The real questions is, what is the human going to do about it and do I need to prepare to make a hasty retreat?>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Soggy Fur

See that adorable paw? It’s soaking wet. So is the foreleg to which it is attached. In fact, the leg is damp all the way to the shoulder. Same deal with the other foot…leg…shoulder.

Why is this significant? It means the Merkitty has been swimming in the downstairs water bowl again…or, if not swimming, then definitely wading in her splash pool.

See that smirk? It’s the look of supreme satisfaction when the human realizes you’ve been doing what you’ve been doing.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Emergence

The human walked by and glanced in the other bedroom. Her peripheral vision picked up a bit of color where there shouldn’t be any. A kitty was curled up on his/her side in the white dome-shaped kitty bed with his/her head at the edge of the “door.”

Fortunately, the human had her camera handy and started taking pictures as she walked closer to investigate. The kitty was instantly alerted because humans are noisy herd animals.

The kitty in the kitty bed was no other than the Pepster. He looks a bit large for that kitty bed, but apparently he fits quite nicely when curled up inside, as it’s become one of his favorites of late.

At first he looked a bit sleepy, with heavily lidded eyes, but then his eyes opened wide and he was fully alert, planning his escape should the human be carrying something evil like medication. (She was not.)

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.