Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Bad Human

Caesar & the Scary Human

The human started to walk toward the Emperor Kitty, who was otherwise engaged in deep thoughts.

The Big Guy glanced nervously at the approaching human. <<<Does she have the nail clippers hiding in her hands?>>>

<<<Pretend to look away so she doesn’t think you’re watching her. Maybe she’ll just walk by.>>> And she did. No kitties were harmed, no nails were trimmed, no feet were illegally petted, only a couple of quick pics were shot and the 2-legged went on her way. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Fishy

The silly human came home from the pet-supply store the other evening practically cackling with delight. She’d found a new “educational” cat toy — or, rather, one that promised mental enrichment for the cats. It was a sizeable “fish” stuffed with fluff, catnip, and a USB-chargeable unit that causes the tail to flip back and forth. This creates the effect of a thrashing fish, as if it had suddenly found itself out of water. The fish effectively flips itself across the floor while also making a clicking sound. The 2-legged had to charge the unit before first use, so she removed the innards and plugged them in, then brought the rest of the fish upstairs for the cats to check out. Both Caesar and Pepe gave it a sniff, and several times that evening Pepe gave it a good thrashing.

It’s probably appropriate then that as soon as the human and cats came down for breakfast, and the human reassembled the toy and put it on the ground, Pepe came over to check it out.

He was soon joined by Caesar, who rushed over to see what was up with this strange creature that had found its way into their house. It turns out that the fish is touch-sensitive, so after thrashing around and clicking for about 90 seconds, it lays still (and goes silent) until someone touches it with a paw or nose or hand in the middle section — not at the tail or head where the Big Boys were sniffing. By now, Corky had joined the team investigating the interloper.

The human has been moving the fish around the house for the last few days. In the long run, it may fail to hold their attention, but at least for now whenever Caesar hears that particular clicking, he rushes into the room and starts sniffing the creature. This morning, the human found the Emperor laying beside the fish toy, as though on guard. And when he got up, the human found 5 toy mice sitting beside the fish. Did he think the fish was hungry? Or did he think the mice would teach the fish some manners? It’s times like this that the human really would love to know what her masters were thinking.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Little Morning Exercise

The human was eating her breakfast and the Pepster was right beside her. For a while, he was content to just lay sprawled out on the chair, but then he got bored.

He started looking for something he could steal to entertain himself. The human pulled out a small piece of metallized film from a treat she’d finished and began waving the piece back and forth along the back of the chair.

The Pepster had a grand time attacking the shiny object the human was moving here and there.

Eventually he tired and left for the upstairs. At least he got a little exercise.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Dereliction of Duty

<<<Clearly, even a human can see that the bottom is showing in this crunchy bowl.>>>

<<<You can’t possibly expect us to eat out of a bowl that’s almost empty. Why do you make us suffer so?>>>

<<<Really, you don’t plan to refill the bowl? We’ll starve!>>>

<<<Come on, there’s nothing worth eating here. Maybe we should advertise for a new human again?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Pepe Braves the Pink Puff

Mac was camped out in the brown puff in the other room and Caesar had staked out a place in one of the other cat beds. Pepe decided he would give the pink puff a spin.

He carefully climbed in and had a look around.

It wasn’t long before he’d flipped around, belly to the sky, and dangled his paws out of the puff while the human snapped some pics. Caesar kept watch lest the human got too close. (The 2-legged decided to behave.)

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Are You REALLY Making Fun of My Face Again?

<<<That’s not even civil, let alone fair.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Strategic Utilization of Sunlight

The human walked upstairs in the middle of the afternoon and spied one of the cats strategically positioned to enjoy a spot of sunlight. At first the human wasn’t even sure which cat it was.

As the two-legged drew closer, she thought she saw a pair of little white feet, indicating it was Corky.

Sure enough, it was the little Banu Bear, who appeared to be in a good mood and not intending on moving anywhere anytime soon. <<<Can’t a guy relax and enjoy a little peace in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Meeting of the Minds

Caesar and Pepe were having a meeting of the minds. They were dividing up the territory and deciding who would govern each region. Of course, there was also the matter of the human, who needs constant supervision and frequent reinstruction. They concluded that task was too big a burden for any one cat to take on, even with all their superpowers, so they decided to share the responsibility.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why do You Always Blame Me?

<<<Just saying…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Mac Among the Plants

The human happened to walk into the living room and spied a little face sticking up among the plants. She was catching some sunrays and enjoying being partially hidden by the couch.

Unfortunately for the Merkitty, the human spied her and started snapping photos.

Which just caused the Smirky one to ignore the 2-legged and pretend that she and her camera weren’t approaching.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Big Boys Enjoy a Snooze

The Big Boys, Pepe (front) and Caesar (back) were enjoying a little snooze in the afternoon sunshine. However, as the camera-wielding human walked closer, both were on guard lest the two-legged try to pet paws and foreheads. Fortunately for them, the human was well behaved this time.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Quiet Conversation

The human came upon this improbable scene this week.

Mac was in “her” pink puff with her head facing over her shoulder. But Caesar’s head was also in the puff as, apparently, was the front half of his body.

Caesar would be hard-pressed to fit in the puff on his own, let alone in combination with the Smirky One. Instead, he found a way to have a tête-à-tête until the evil human and her camera happened along.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What do You Mean by ‘Don’t Make that Face?’

<<<And what makes you think you have the right to say anything about me anyway?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Thoughtful Contemplation

Caesar had his head tilted slightly and was staring off into the distance. This was not his usual wary stance as the human and the evil camera crept close and his paws were exposed to possible petting.

Suddenly, he whipped his head to the other side, but still didn’t meet the human’s gaze.

<<<Can’t I have a few moments to myself in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Trio Sandwich

The human found a pile of little kitty bodies in one of the comfy cat beds. If you look closely, there are 3 heads and 3 paws to be seen. Mac, per usual, is right in the middle of everything — wedged between and on top of the Tiger Boys. You’ll also note that Caesar is keeping an eye on the approaching human to make sure that their paws and faces stay safe from the attentions of the 2-legged. Fireball looks like he just wants to go back to sleep.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky Helps with Blanket Making

<<<I really don’t understand why my brother makes such a big deal about these blankets.>>>

<<<The cuts seem straight enough to me.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Pepe Flattens Aunt Nan’s Blanket Fabric

<<<It has come to our attention that fabric wrapped onto bolts is often wrinkled when purchased. If you don’t roll out the fabric and flatten the wrinkles, the blanket doesn’t look good when it’s shipped out the door.>>>

<<<Since we care about quality, we decided to help the human by rolling all over the fabric she was using to make a blanket for her 92-year-old aunt. Our goal was to reduce the wrinkles and improve the aesthetics of the blanket. If not us, then who?>>>

<<<Of course, we also have to watch the human and help her make straight cuts so the fringe turns out nicely. We enjoy playing with the fringe to make sure it has proper drape and positioning. These are not details you can leave to the human to work out on her own. Sad as it is to admit, she’s just isn’t good enough with her crafting. Fortunately, she has me!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Faithful Guardian of the Crunchy Bowl

Mac is the official guardian of the crunchy bowl. Even when the bowl is full, she sits beside it waiting for more to be added. Heaven help the human if she refills the bowl with a type of crunchy that the cats don’t like.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

MY Catnip!

Corky was taking a trip without leaving the farm, enjoying a bit of the wildwood weed.

Mac, who’d already indulged, sat close by glaring at Corky, who was pretty much oblivious. It was almost like Mac resented seeing him have his fun. So intently were the cats focused on each other or the catnip that the human managed to get quite close without either of them paying her any mind. There were no scuffles, but Mac made no secret of the fact that she thought Corky should have waited until she was completely finished and had left the room before enjoying some nip. The funny thing is, that’s what he usually does. He’s not food aggressive like she is.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.