Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Complaints

When Your Sister Steals Your Box

Leave it to the Merkitty to know just how to irritate another cat. While Mac’s favorite kitty beds are the pink and beige puffs upstairs, which she’d sleep in simultaneously if she could, she doesn’t usually have a favorite spot on the first floor, preferring to flit like a butterfly from one location to another.

Of course, when another cat shows a preference for sleeping in a particular spot, the Little Mischief has to plunk herself down in that location just for the annoyance factor. And so it happened that Pepe left his box for a while and Mac took over Pepe’s favorite bed. When he returned, an exasperated Pepe parked himself right next to his box and waited hours for Mac to exit.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

We Need a New Human

Our blog is languishing from lack of attention from the 2-legged. We’d sell her and buy a new human if we thought we could get a good price. Unfortunately, we tried that several years back and no one was interested. You can’t even give a human like that away.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Dreamstime.com. File ID 28725707 © Stevanovicigor.

She Promised to Get Better

Have you seen any posts from her? Have you seen any cute pictures of us? Case closed.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Dreamstime.com. File ID 16016049 © Robert Kneschke

One Bad Human

Our very bad human has not posted on our blog for over 90 days. We’ve tried guilt, punishment, acting cute, acting stern, bringing her toys, pouncing on her when she’s trying to sleep, walking across her keyboard when she’s trying to work, yowling when she’s on a conference call, and much more. Still, all she does is complain about her incredibly heavy workload. What does she think we do all day?

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Dreamstime.com. File ID 176510470 | © Yasir Khan.

Corky has an(other) Adventure

It was Corky’s turn for a dental cleaning. Since the procedure would be done under anesthetic, he wasn’t allowed any food after midnight. That meant he had to be quarantined from the others the night before his procedure. (The angry ankylosaur is hell on wheels when he doesn’t have something to eat that he likes.) The next morning, the evil human scooped him up and placed him in a carrier <<<Stuffed me in a fabric box is more like it!>>> Off they went in the vehicle. <<<Never trust a human!>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Disappointed!

The human picked the wrong type of crunchies for her furry masters. They were very disappointed and let the 2-legged know that. The chastened human went back to the store with a promise to do better.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Little Red Lion Kitty

Fireball adopted his best sphinx pose while patiently waiting for the human to finish her morning ablutions and head downstairs to dole out food.

<<<What takes her so long? Can’t she see we’re hungry?>>>

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

When Box Inspection becomes a Family Affair

Sometimes, box inspection isn’t a solitary activity — even when it starts out that way.

Often, other cats wander over and decide to insert themselves into the middle of the action. Pepe rarely approves. <<<Amateurs!>>>

Of course, not every cat is as well trained and as professional about the inspection process. Some just take up space and don’t seem to know what to do. <<<Dilettantes!>>> Others have short attention spans and wander away. <<<Good riddance!>>>

Box inspection is always best left to the professionals.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

How Could You Let this Happen?

As you can see from Mac’s exasperated look, during the night the evil human failed to respond to multiple kitty pleas for more crunchies, since there was plenty of other kinds of food around the corner in other bowls. By refusing to wake up and refill the bowl, the 2-legged servant has let a catastrophe unfurl once again. There are only 3 pieces of kibble in the crunchy bowl. How it happened that Mac and Corky were able to eat kibble out of the bowl when the sides and bottom started becoming exposed is a mystery in itself. (Perhaps all the food was eaten by Pepe and Fireball, who don’t seem to have such qualms about eating out of a partially empty bowl.)

Still, if the human knows what’s good for her, she’d best get that bowl replenished — and fast! The kitties are not quick to forgive such malfeasance.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why Human Fingers Require Extra Washing

Everyone knows that humans are stinky creatures.

That’s probably because they have so much naked skin and also because they wash with soap and water. It’s clearly inferior to a spit bath.

Although it’s a thankless job, Fireball long ago took on the task of rewashing the human’s fingers and hands. In fact, he used to scoop up a finger in one of his soft little orange paws, clamp down with his claws, and scrub for all he was worth while the human howled in fits of laughter, since it tickled so much.

Fortunately, the human always tries to express appreciation after her bath.

Fireball feels satisfied about having contributed to the greater good of the human and household.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky’s Adventures at the Vet

The bad human hasn’t posted in close to 2 months. That’s because we spent almost a month living a daily plumbing nightmare during a time when the 2-legged’s work schedule was really challenging. Nonetheless, the kitties, per usual, have been doing all sorts of cute things, which the human did record and now just needs to catch up posting about. Case in point, Corky had to go in for a checkup ahead of some dental work. He wasn’t very enthused about being put in a carrier and carted to the clinic, but he was a very good kitty nonetheless.

The first thing the vet tech did after we got him out of the carrier is put him in a curved tray and weigh him. The Corkster decided that he felt pretty comfortable in the tray and wouldn’t get out.

While we waited for the vet to come in, the human covered him up with the towel from his carrier, creating a burrito bear. The nice vet conducted his whole exam while Corky retained his spot in the curved tray of the scale. He even stayed there for his shot.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Change in Technique

The human has been noticing that Mac the Merkitty has been walking around lately with not just a damp paw but two sopping wet paws. <<<What in the world is she doing?>>> the human wondered. Well, now the human knows.

During breakfast this week, the Mer came to get a drink in her splash pool. Instead of doing her usual routine of climbing up on the rim of the big bowl, then reaching a paw in and swishing it around to make sure there’s water inside, then stepping down and putting her face in the bowl to drink while running one then the other of her forelegs around the outside curve of the bowl, the Girly Girl has developed a new technique.

She still climbs up on the rim of the bowl, but now she puts both forepaws in the water and stands in the bowl while drinking. Maybe it makes her feel one with the water. This may also explain the puddles in front of the boot tray the human has been finding. Perhaps it’s those dripping paws leaving the water behind as the Mer swims away from her splash pad.

(c) Copyright 2022, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky’s Turn at the Vet

This has been quite the year for big vet bills and frequent visits to places of torture. It was Corky’s turn to go to the vet. He was acting off and the human suspected a UTI. Unfortunately, as has been the case this year, after many expensive tests, nothing showed up. The little guy is acting better now, so whatever was going on hopefully is past and he’s on the mend. Still, he wasn’t a happy camper to be dragged out of the house only to be poked, prodded, and forced to give up samples of bodily fluids. <<<Never trust a human who pretends to be about to pet you!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Object of Ick

Pepe has had a tough-to-clear cough since his first year living at this house. Every few years it gets frequent and persistent enough that the human has brought him in for a check, including X-rays, and to receive a dose or two of long-acting antibiotic. Since switching to the new vets’ office, we’ve learned that he likely has a condition that used to be called “kitty asthma” and now is called chronic bronchitis. Since his teeth extraction, Pepe has been on liquid steroids, which are definitely helping with the cough. He used to be a real challenge to medicate, but the frequency of his dosing has made him much more compliant. Still, the syringe full of meds that the human has to manage to squirt into his mouth is something he loathes.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Recheck

It was time to take Pepe and Mac back to the new vet’s office for a recheck from their recent dental work and the extraction of a (mercifully) benign tumor from Pepe’s tail. The monsters were surprisingly tolerant of being scooped up and placed in their carriers and toted to the vet’s. We arrived a few minutes early, but the office seemed exceptionally busy that day, so we ended up having to sit outside and wait for a room to become available for 30 minutes. Neither cat put up a fuss, which was a miracle in itself. Upon their recheck, the vet was pleased with the progress both kitties had made in healing. <<<Yeah!>>> They were just happy to get home, even if they had to wait another week before they could have dry crunchies again. <<<Crunchies in water are an afront to nature!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Prisoners are Getting Restless

Mac and Pepe are healing up well from their little adventures on Tuesday and their pain meds have been dialed back accordingly. Pepe has been chasing a feather wand all over the bed, and Mac has been insistent on being held and cuddled while she attempts to do headstands in the human’s arms. With less medication keeping them subdued and sleepy, the prisoner cats, who have been isolated from the other two for three days, were starting to get bored and cranky. After clearing it with the vet’s office, and giving them their evening meds, the human set them free last night.

It was wonderous getting a really solid night’s sleep and not having to get up to check on them and dose them at odd hours, since their med schedules were a bit different. It also was sweet having all four cats taking turns cuddling with the human. (Corky and Fireball had spent a lot of time camped outside Pepe’s and Mac’s room this week wondering why they were in there.) At 4 am this morning, right about the time their evening meds would have been wearing off, the human awoke with Pepe on her chest and Mac on her head insisting they were hungry. Up popped the groggy human to dispense food, mix up meds, and dose her unwilling charges. Back for another couple of hours of sleep and then it was up for the day.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

But Where are Pepe and Mac?

Yesterday, the evil human removed all food from the food dishes at 11:00 pm. Needless to say, the monsters protested every hour on the hour for the rest of the night. Although the human popped up bright and early, she still didn’t feed the monsters — a real change in the normal schedule. Turns out Pepe and Mac both had dental procedures scheduled this morning and the 2-legged was supposed to have both of them in at 7:30 am for pre-op tests. She managed to capture Pepe and put him in his carrier, but the wiley Smirky One evaded capture. After 15 minutes of coaxing and chasing, the human gave up and figured it was better to get one cat to the vet on time, so she left with a very upset Pepster. The human came home, found Mac’s new hiding spot, and set up a perimeter, then slowly got closer and closer. Finally, after many attempts at crawling under the bed only to have Mac pop out the other side, providence or Mac took pity on the frustrated human and Mac hopped onto the bed, ducked down in a kitty bed, and proceeded to hiss at her tormenter. The human picked her up and put her in the carrier and off they both went.

Before she left, the 2-legged did take pity on Corky and Fireball and put soft food and crunchies down for them. When she got home and came up to check on both boys, she found them cuddled in a kitty bed together enjoying comraderie and the heat of the far-infrared mattress pad (affectionately called the warm-warmy in this house). Clearly, they both wondered what happened to Mac and Pepe, who are going to need a couple of days to chill out after some teeth extractions. These poor kitties have been unfairly paired with the world’s worst human. It will be months before the 2-legged can walk up to either cat and not have them plotting their escape route just in case. On the bright side, the vet staff do courtesy nail trimming while the kitties are under, so at least that’s one thing the human won’t have to tackle for a few months.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Sassy Bird

This is the daily late-morning / early-afternoon visit by Mac and Caesar who then attempt to pry the human’s fingers off the keyboard long enough to give them a snack of fresh catnip leaves or, ideally, to refill the upstairs crunchy bowl. <<<Fat chance that’ll happen this early in the day!>>> Note Mac’s mouth? She’s in the middle of emitting a very-high-pitched meow. It’s part of her sassy bird act. <<<Ridiculous, slow-witted human. If you were better trained, I wouldn’t need to do this every day.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Human-Attention Deficit Disorder

It has come to our attention that Mac and Pepe both suffer from HADD: human-attention deficit disorder. When Pepe wants the human’s attention and she’s otherwise occupied with reading news on her smartphone or planning out her day, he acts out by hopping onto the kitchen table and taking a quick spin or he starts cuffing small items off the table that he can reach from his chair. When Mac has HADD, she plops herself down on top of any cat that stands between the human and her own body so as to get all the attention. Both attention-getting approaches are effective, if not entirely fair.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Human Spies a Reclining Corky

Even after 6 years of living here, Corky still acts like he’s not supposed to be sitting or laying anywhere when the human pokes her head around the corner. That makes it quite hard to get photos of the little guy, who is cute as can be when he’s not having a meltdown over one or another food issue.

At least this once, the human had the camera in hand and got a couple of shots in before Corky abandoned his comfy bed.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.