Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Counters & Tables

Finding Your Own Entertainment…

img_4221The cats have been unhappy with their toy selection of late…well, all except the Merkitty and the round scratching disc featuring the ball that races around the outside.  No surprise, at least one of the kitties has decided to find his own entertainment. The human was sorting through mail and eating her breakfast recently. She’d crumpled up several small pieces of paper into a little ball and pushed it to the side as she worked on other things. The plan was to put it in the recycle bag as soon as she stood up from the table. Of course, the Table Thief immediately struck and cuffed the small paper ball onto the chair and then the floor. Off he ran scooting it around on the floor like a forward chasing a soccer ball down the field. Ooops, he scooped the ball up and it landed inside one of the human’s slippers. Well, that was inconvenient. img_4223Never one to give up on opportunities to play, Pepe first tried cuffing the ball out of the slipper. When that didn’t work and he just drove the ball deeper into the toe box, he adapted quickly and started cuffing the whole slipper around on the floor.
img_4226Admittedly, the slipper lacked the speed and maneuverability of the ball of paper. However, sometimes you just have to make do when the human doesn’t provide any better entertainment opportunities.

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.







Shell Game

img_4219The clumsy human knocked a small bottle off on the floor this morning while moving a box in search of some more shampoo before showering. Of course, the bottle went down between the wall and a cabinet, necessitating that she get down on hands and knees, move some items out of the way, and search for the bottle.  And what did she find on the floor besides the dropped bottle?  Why a whole collection of shells that normally sit in an iridescent bowl on top of the counter by the sink.  What were those shells doing out of the bowl and on the floor?  The human’s theory is that the Table Thief (aka Pepe) has moved operations and has been cuffing them out of the bowl.  They certainly LOOK like they’d be ideal for chasing around on the floor. He must have been so frustrated when he lobbed them over the edge of the counter and lost them between two cupboards. Actually, it’s a wonder they didn’t shatter when hitting the ceramic tile. Cats!img_4218By the way, happy Valentine’s day to 2- and 4-leggeds all.


(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Table Thief

img_4105Pepe and the human have been going round and round of late on the matter of the silly rule that no cats are allowed on the table or the kitchen counter. They can visit almost anywhere else in the house, but not there.img_4106Unlike his brother Corky, who seems to have no problem with the rule change, Pepe has not adjusted since moving from next door almost 2 years ago.  He’s still testing boundaries on a daily basis.img_4111When the human is eating, she must pull “his” chair up beside her own and pet him while she tries to eat, read, journal, talk with someone on the phone, or catch up on news. There is no excuse for not giving him 100% of her attention. When her attention drifts, as often it does, he keeps things lively, as would be expected.img_4108For example, he is trying to convince the human that just having his front paws on the table doesn’t count as being on the table. After all, most of him is still in the chair.img_4110And leaning forward onto his paws so his chest is on the table still does not constitute a violation of that boundary.img_4114Just let the human leave her seat for a minute to pour a cup of coffee or grab a condiment and the seat stealer is right there sitting in her spot.img_4115And if she has to be gone more than a minute, watch out:  any small item of interest on the table within reach of those paws is fair game to be knocked off and chased around on the floor.img_4118Just before Thanksgiving, the human (who had been working late) decided to use up some leftovers. She poured some crackers onto a dish while she cut a chunk of cheese.  She ate her food while Pepe fussed around on his chair looking for entertainment. The human stood up and turned to the sink for just a minute only to hear Pepe hop into her chair, knock something off the table, and then start chasing it around the slippery kitchen floor like a hockey player.img_4123The human looked back at her spot but could not figure out what the little thief had nabbed. Round and round the kitchen Pepe ran at a faster and faster pace.img_4124The human followed him into a corner only to see the purloined object slide under a rack that holds heavy Dutch ovens. She gave up and went back to her meal only to have Pepe reappear at her feet and leave whatever had been pilfered.img_4121Looking down she saw that it was a broken cracker. Huh! At least he didn’t eat it.img_4120 She got up to put the cracker in the compost pail, then offered him a pen cap, which he usually likes to chase all over the floor — but not that night.img_4125Next the human offered him a nickel figuring it would slide along the floor really fast. Alas, since it was offered, not stolen, the coin held no interest for the feline either.
img_4126Later, after the human had had her meal and cleaned up, she came back down to the kitchen for something only to find that an AA battery that had been sitting in a dish on the table was now on the floor lodged behind a piece of furniture. Cats!


(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.


IMG_3147Okay, it only took the Water Baby 2 days to figure out that it would be exceptionally entertaining to lob stones out of the fountain and onto the floor. (Maybe she’s reading these blog posts after all….)

The human was in her work cave toiling diligently. All the furry people thought they should have dinner early.  One by one they came in to torment the silly human, who still was unwilling to get up and serve food so early in the day. Then the Girly Girl got it in her head that the one sure way to get the human out of the chair was to return to the site of her earlier adventures. After all, the human chuckled and took pictures of her two days ago. That’s no way to dissuade a cat.  IMG_3149Soon the human heard the distinct sound of stones being dragged over metal, then hitting the floor and bouncing. By the time she bounded out of her chair and arrived with camera, there were quite a few stones under the couch. Busted, the Plesiosaurus jumped off the couch and onto a specimen table.  The human got down on hands and knees (not quite proper obedience, but getting there!), picked up the stones, and laid them down on the table. Then she started talking to Princess Scoopy Paws about how it wasn’t a good idea to toss heavy stones onto the floor. <<Ha! Just watch me!>>  The Merkitty immediately began scooping and sliding stones along the top of the glass table. (Oh nooo!) Realizing what a dumb idea it had been to put the stones on a glass-topped table, the human returned them to the fountain and went back to the work cave leaving Mischief #1 without an outlet for her energies. 
IMG_3152M.K., not in the least discouraged, returned to the fountain and started chasing stones around in the bowl again. The human got up, camera in hand, and decided that the only way to end the fun was to cover up the whole fountain, bowl of stones and all. She found a kitty blanket that wasn’t getting much love and wrapped the fountain. Of course, that made it irresistible for the Water Baby, who returned to the bay window with her pal, Mischief #2 (aka Pepe).  IMG_3163Both investigated the mysterious brightly colored object that now was sitting in the window. Not to be outdone, M.K. started poking with face and paw trying to unfold the edges of the cloth. Sure enough, she did get one corner open, but not in a particularly accessible side of the fountain.IMG_3162She looked around. <<What else is up here that I can have fun with while annoying the 2-legged?>> She found a stone bowl holding some large stone specimens. She tried cuffing them, but fortunately they were too heavy to move so she lay down on top of the bowl to ponder her next move. Chess anyone?IMG_3160At last she got up and left the bay window. However, like the Terminator, the human is sure she’ll be baaack!



(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Table Manners

IMG_3047The kitties know they’re not supposed to get up on the kitchen table or the counters.  However, if they decide they want to get up there, they get up there even if the human is sitting right in front of them with her lower jaw gaping open (not an attractive look). Normally, she quickly regains her composure and shoos them off, but they just grin insolently over their shoulders as they depart as though to say, “we’ll be back!”IMG_3048The other day, the human was trying to have her breakfast while opening and sorting through mail she’d retrieved the previous evening.  She opened one particular letter and set it aside to remind herself to check on something.IMG_3049Pepe, who’d already had multiple rounds of play with his toys that are tied to the back of “his chair” and was sitting up watching the human (on the off chance food might appear). Suddenly, he inched his way across the table toward that letter and started sniffing and nuzzling it.IMG_3046He managed to move the letter all around on that side of the table as he explored its bouquet.IMG_3045It must have had some interesting odors, because he gave it quite the investigation, as you can see. (Perhaps someone had worked on it while eating lunch at his/her desk.) The human, too entertained watching to chase him down off the table, just took out the evil camera and started snapping.


(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.


IMG_2830The human had a busy weekend. She had a big editing job with a tight deadline. But she also had friends coming over Sunday afternoon and the house needed cleaning. Saturday morning she was energetic and very ambitious, so after picking up after herself and the furry people once breakfast was done, she also turned the kitchen chairs over and placed them on the table so she could vacuum and then wash the floor. (It’s amazing what kind of mess 5 cats can make at mealtime.)  Unfortunately, work took longer than she’d hoped and she never got around to vacuuming. However, when she came out to feed the furry people and herself for dinner Saturday evening, there sat Pepe looking pleased as punch in the nice little cubby formed by HIS chair on the table.IMG_2835At first the human shooed him away, but he soon returned with the Girly Girl in tow. Then both tuxedo kitties, who are the mischief makers among the crew, were happily ensconced in the space formed by the underside of the chairs.IMG_2833While the human should have been shooing them off, as she doesn’t want any of them on the table, it was so darned cute that she did stop and snap some pics for the record. They, of course, hammed it up for all they were worth.IMG_2834A bit later she returned to the work cave to put in another hour or so and heard a crash. An investigation revealed that someone had gotten a bit too casual about hanging out over the edge of the upturned chair and tipped it two-thirds off the table and into the wall behind. The human straightened this, but found the same thing next morning when she came back down for breakfast. The house was properly cleaned Sunday morning, the floors were washed, and alas the fun chairs were turned right side up and returned to their normal spot, so that adventure is over — at least for a while.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Caught Red Handed — Again!

IMG_2525Pepe doesn’t even care about getting caught on the table anymore. It used to be that he had the decency to wait until the human stepped out of the kitchen for a minute or two before he hopped up. And when caught, he at least acted sheepish, like he knew he was some place he shouldn’t be.  However, those days are gone. The photo above was shot about a week back when the human stepped out of the kitchen for 5 minutes to put something away in another part of the house and came back only to find him curled up on the table like it was his favorite cat perch…and maybe it is. He no longer runs when he’s caught red handed. He just looks up as if he dares the 2-legged to say anything. In fact, it takes serious effort on the human’s part to shoo him off his illicit spot.


Last night the human came home with new crunchies, canned food, and snacks. Even though she carries their food into the house in the same fabric shopping bags she uses for her own food, it’s astounding how they just know that the humans is bringing them yum-yums. When the human literally moved 2 steps from the table to begin loading the canned food into a box she keeps under the kitchen sink (for easy access), Pepe jumped onto the table to see what interesting things might be lurking there.  Argh, cats!


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Monster Under the Table

IMG_2569It’s the worst fear of small human children that a monster lives under their bed and will come out and get them while they sleep unawares.

IMG_2570Well, in this house, we don’t so much worry about monsters under the bed — the monsters are usually on top of the bed stretched out in luxury leaving the human very little space.  However, we’ve recently become aware of monsters that occasionally take up residence under the kitchen table.

IMG_2577You see, the human always has tablecloths covering the kitchen table. That means that 4-legged monsters can sit or lay on the seats of any of the chairs and pretty much be assured of being hidden from view.
IMG_2586In a moment of inspiration the human tied one of the rainbow mice, which already was attached to a long string, to the finial on top of one of the chairs a week or so back.

IMG_2580That’s proven to be a very entertaining spot for kitties who like to get in the chair and bat the mouse around. Of course, it’s also immensely entertaining for the human who is sitting nearby trying to eat her breakfast.


<<Just who are you laughing at, Human?>>



(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.


IMG_2534The human has described the various thieving raids on the kitchen table and counter in recent weeks. No small object, no matter how uninteresting it appears to a 2-legged, can be allowed to remain untethered on either surface or it is likely to become a make-do hockey puck on the floor to entertain some 4-legged and friends.

This morning, just to throw off the human (a very simple task, really), the pattern seems to have been reversed. Instead of taking something from the table, an object was left. You can see how generous (or devious) those kitties really are.  Or perhaps they are once again commenting on the human’s vegetarian diet.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Day Thief Strikes!

Either the night thief is no longer strictly nocturnal, or he has an understudy who is working his/her magic on a diurnal clock.

IMG_2516The other night the silly human climbed the stairs to the second level on the way to dispense evening snacks and get ready for sleep. Lo and behold, as she came around the corner, she found the upstairs crunchy container with the locking lid laying sideways on the floor, lid open, and a great many Game Bird crunchies gone.

IMG_2517Of course, no one is taking responsibility for the crime (impromptu party).  However, when the human came downstairs next morning to dispense breakfast and snacks, she found the paper bag in which she stores recyclables (until it’s time to empty them in the big recycle bin outside) knocked over on its side. Of course, that’s where kitty-food cans go after they’re emptied and washed out in the sink.

There has been a great deal of other thieving going on as well. All sorts of things that had been on the table or counter in the kitchen have been found on the floor: metal jar lids, big cork jar stoppers, half of a whole-wheat roll that fell into a bowl of water in the sink during slicing and was remanded to the compost pail, and a decorative pin that was in between being sorted and recycled.  And this morning the human found a seriously large chunk of old fiberglass insulation (which must have been brought up from the basement) laying on a rug in the upstairs hall. Clearly, nothing small and reasonably lightweight can be left untended. Perhaps this will teach the lazy human to be more diligent about finishing cleaning tasks.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.