Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Dreadful Things

Caesar & the Scary Human

The human started to walk toward the Emperor Kitty, who was otherwise engaged in deep thoughts.

The Big Guy glanced nervously at the approaching human. <<<Does she have the nail clippers hiding in her hands?>>>

<<<Pretend to look away so she doesn’t think you’re watching her. Maybe she’ll just walk by.>>> And she did. No kitties were harmed, no nails were trimmed, no feet were illegally petted, only a couple of quick pics were shot and the 2-legged went on her way. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Waterwerks

The human found this mess when she arrived in the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the monsters a few weeks back. Not only was the rack with both water bowls tipped onto its side, spilling water everywhere, but the absorbant pad underneath was pulled out from under the rack and completely off the rubber boot tray.

This is clearly the work of the house’s resident water monster (and floor destroyer), Macaroni the Merkitty. <<<Heavy sigh…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Dereliction of Duty

<<<Clearly, even a human can see that the bottom is showing in this crunchy bowl.>>>

<<<You can’t possibly expect us to eat out of a bowl that’s almost empty. Why do you make us suffer so?>>>

<<<Really, you don’t plan to refill the bowl? We’ll starve!>>>

<<<Come on, there’s nothing worth eating here. Maybe we should advertise for a new human again?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Faithful Guardian of the Crunchy Bowl

Mac is the official guardian of the crunchy bowl. Even when the bowl is full, she sits beside it waiting for more to be added. Heaven help the human if she refills the bowl with a type of crunchy that the cats don’t like.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

I Have a Bone to Pick with You, Human

Four of the five cats were milling around in their early-afternoon foray asking for snacks. The human put down some dried catnip and silver vine.

Several of the meows checked out the catnip, then wandered over to sit and ponder the situation.

Undeterred, Mac walked over to tell the human just what she thought about the food offering.

<<<What part of ‘We want crunchies’ don’t you understand, human?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Hey Diddle Diddle

Here’s Caesar curled up in one of the kitty beds, looking like he’s flying through the air or leaping over his favorite pillow. His eyes are open and he’s watching the slow advance of the camera-clicking human. His forepaws are stretched out, so at great risk of being petted if he doesn’t pay close attention and pull them back under his chest if the human gets any closer. Fortunately, the human soon left him be.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Ander’s Blanket Gets Inspected

<<<That human needs to be closely watched every minute.>>>

<<<Did you see how crooked that cut was?>>>

<<<And just look at the way she tied off the fringe in that spot. Honestly, what would she do if I wasn’t here to give her lots of advice?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Turtle Much?

<<<Don’t say it. In fact, don’t even think it!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why Does She Behave Like that?

Caesar was stumped. Macaroni was flipping back and forth on top of the sheet of crackly paper with limbs akimbo. Her coat was coated with catnip. She was insensible to reason.

<<<Such a lack of dignity…and with the human watching….>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Bowl or No Bowl?

Corky and Macaroni have a new “thing.” They cannot possibly eat out of a bowl of crunchies once a small section of the bottom of the bowl starts to show. No, it doesn’t matter how many crunchies are scattered all around the sides (as can be seen above). That bowl is now absolutely off limits, which means the human is in trouble and both cats are going to act out.

Interestingly, if the human just shakes the bowl and redistributes the contents so the bottom no longer shows, then the bowl is quite fine and the bad behavior stops — at least for a short time, until a small part of the bottom of the bowl shows again. Clearly, the human does not understand the need for such panic, so Corky and Mac amp up the mischief until the human can be persuaded to refill the bowl again.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Quick, Hide Your Paws!

Caesar was extending legs and tail out of one of the kitty beds while covered up with a bevy of blankets. The human crept forward, snapping photos as she went.

The Big Guy, realizing the perilous position of his paws, quickly pulled his body parts in and under the blankets so the human couldn’t pet them. She snapped a few more pictures and then walked away.

<<<Whew! It worked this time. Can’t a guy get any sleep around this place?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Suffering of Caesar

Only the cruelest of humans would bother a kitty in such a vulnerable position while sound asleep…

<<<Oh, but his paws are so velvety and his tummy is so soft.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

How Many Times Do I have to Tell You, that Doesn’t Work?

Corky was flummoxed. The human had once again failed to do his bidding. The bottom of the crunchy bowl was showing. That meant that no matter how many crunchies remained in the bowl, it was no longer possible to eat anything out of that bowl. And Corky was hungry…hangry even. The fact that the human shook the bowl and redistributed the contents, hiding the bottom, did not solve the problem that the bowl’s contents were getting dangerously low.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Jule’s Blanket Gets Pepe’s Help

Another blanket that benefited from Pepe’s beneficence was a lovely lavender and purple one for Jule’.

<<<I’d like to meet the person who invented pin cushions. They are way more entertaining than the toys our human buys us. Why can’t she be creative like that?>>>

Fortunately, the human’s friends are tolerant of receiving gifts with bits of cat fur on them.

<<<We need to talk about the quality of your work. You consider that a straight cut? That’s the best you can do with a template? What would this blanket look like if I weren’t keeping watch?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Toys Need Snacks too

Sliced chicken. Check. Toy mouse. Check.

Clearly, that mouse needs a bath after frolicking in the food bowl. Good thing the human discovered (by accident) that the toy mice can go through a full load of laundry and not delaminate. Oddly enough, that’s not the case when they spend the night in one of the water bowls. <<<Sigh.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Look What She Did to My Nails!

<<<First the evil human used the even more evil clippers on Caesar and then she used them on me. Look what she did to my beautiful nails! Is there no authority protecting bodily sanctity here? Okay, so maybe I was shredding the legs of her mahogany bed when she didn’t get up and refill my crunchy bowl at 2 am. Hey, I can’t eat out of it when the bottom is showing. Besides, how are these things even remotely comparable ?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Velvety Paws

The evil human snuck up on Caesar and trimmed all the claws on his velvety forepaws. Now he can walk around on top of the two-legged and not get stuck constantly in the fabric. Merkitty is next!

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Distressing Things that have Happened

It’s been so long since the human has posted that many things have happened to us that our fans don’t know about.

For instance, after inviting our neighbor’s cat to stay with us for 5 days — did anyone think to ask if we were okay with this arrangement? — a few weeks later, the human brought a small kitten into our house.

Granted, the kitten was only here for a few hours while the human arranged to bring it to a shelter. Still, she held it in her arms and cooed over it in our presence. We were not amused. At our age, we do not want to have to start all over and train a kitten.

Fortunately, the human took the tiny kitten away and the tiny kitten was eventually adopted. You have to stay on top of that two-legged every minute because, when you’re not looking, she’ll bring anything into this house.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Very, Very Bad Human

The very, very bad human is still alive and still living with us. Yes, we have been merciful, even though she hasn’t posted on our blog since late October. How are we supposed to keep up with our fans? Still, we’ve let her know in many ways that she continues to disappoint us. We finally had a breakthrough this afternoon when we guilted her into creating this post. How long the guilt will last is anyone’s guess, but at least we’ve made some kind of progress.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Almost Made it…

We got to day 4. The human even managed to clip Cocoa’s front claws without bloodshed. However, late that evening, the human stepped out of the big bedroom for a nature break and was a bit too careless when returning to bed. Fireball made a major jail break and spent that night and the next day out. First thing he did was run across the hall and start pushing first his nose and then those clever red paws under the door. Fortunately, Cocoa must have been in her kitty bed and not watching. If there were any altercations on opposite sides of the door during the night, the human didn’t hear them…and she didn’t fall asleep until after 1 am, so upset was she that she’d let Fireball escape. The next day, the Little Red Bee was missing his best buddies, Mac and Caesar, but there was little chance he’d let the human pick him up and return him to the bedroom, so he had to live with the choices he made in the spur of the moment. There were 5 happy cats when Cocoa’s family returned and she went back to her house.

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.