Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Failure to Blog

Distressing Things that have Happened

It’s been so long since the human has posted that many things have happened to us that our fans don’t know about.

For instance, after inviting our neighbor’s cat to stay with us for 5 days — did anyone think to ask if we were okay with this arrangement? — a few weeks later, the human brought a small kitten into our house.

Granted, the kitten was only here for a few hours while the human arranged to bring it to a shelter. Still, she held it in her arms and cooed over it in our presence. We were not amused. At our age, we do not want to have to start all over and train a kitten.

Fortunately, the human took the tiny kitten away and the tiny kitten was eventually adopted. You have to stay on top of that two-legged every minute because, when you’re not looking, she’ll bring anything into this house.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Very, Very Bad Human

The very, very bad human is still alive and still living with us. Yes, we have been merciful, even though she hasn’t posted on our blog since late October. How are we supposed to keep up with our fans? Still, we’ve let her know in many ways that she continues to disappoint us. We finally had a breakthrough this afternoon when we guilted her into creating this post. How long the guilt will last is anyone’s guess, but at least we’ve made some kind of progress.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Incommunicado

No, our human has not been banished to cold northern regions the last 3 months although, as hot as it’s been, she probably would have liked that.

And, no, it’s not that we haven’t been doing all sorts of cute things…she’s even taken photos of us doing them.

Her only excuse is that she’s been working long hard hours during this crazy human pandemic…not that that should have affected her service to us!

We’ve given the human a stern talking to and she’s finally recommitted to serving our literary needs and desires. She promises to be better about posting on our blog and keeping our fans up to date with our adventures. We shall see if she keeps her promise.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Dreamstime.com.

What We’ve Learned…

At first we got on the internet to request a new human. When none answered our offer, we tried to sell our old human to see if we could buy a better one. However, after looking around, we’ve come to the conclusion that our old human isn’t so bad after all…even when she forgets to post on our blog for 2 months.  We’ve made up and she’s promised to start posting again.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images courtesy Fotolia.com.

What! No Takers?

Interestingly, the feline masters seem shocked that not one single human being has applied to become the unpaid help in this house. What a deal it is. You get a small portion of the bed and a few drawers and one small closet to store your clothes, plus a single shelf in the refrigerator for your food. Your job is to be at their beck and call 24/7. Forget about uninterrupted sleep or any ideas of being in charge of the small but bossy 4-leggeds. They won’t tolerate that for a moment.  Guess they’ll have to continue putting up with their well-worn and reasonably well-trained human…at least for a bit longer.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image (c) Can Stock Photo.

Help Wanted

Our human hasn’t posted on our blog for over 6 weeks.  We’re tired of all the excuses about how hard she’s been working, all the computer problems she’s had, and how tired she is. The fact is, our needs are not coming first — at least not all the time as they should be. Therefore, we’ve decided to look for a replacement human. Perhaps you know someone who would like to apply? Here are the qualifications:

  • Must blog regularly.
  • Must take daily pictures of us being cute and express appreciation that we allowed our photos to be taken.
  • Must not be squeamish when we put our toy mice in the food or water bowls. We do it….regularly. And Mac floods the floors from time to time. Get over it.
  • Must be willing to clean the litter boxes daily and wash them every 2 weeks…at minimum.
  • Did we mention that this is an unpaid job?
  • Must wash our fleece blanket collection at least once a month. We like all our bedding to be hung outside so it smells wonderful.
  • Must be available at all times when we wish to play, be petted, get brushed, have snacks, or be entertained…none of this “please don’t wake me up at 2 am” silliness. On the other hand, must respect our boundaries when we don’t want anything to do with you. Get over that too. You’re not in charge.
  • Must be willing to work hard (or be financially independent) in order to keep up our home and supply us with all the premium cat food to which we are accustomed and about which we will constantly complain. You must buy it anyway…even if we don’t always eat it.
  • And did we mention that this is an unpaid job?
  • Must keep the computer on and be willing to vacate it when we want to buy something or complain about our treatment on the blog.
  • Must be willing to share your credit card number as we’re very fond of Amazon Prime. In fact, we need more toy mice, as the last batch is messy after too many trips into the food bowls.
  • Must tolerate wide fluctuations in temperature — often in the same day — be unbothered by an absolute absence of sunlight much of the year, and not hate winter as it can last 5-6 months. And when it’s not snowing, it’s often raining. We can’t do anything about the weather. However, if you can, we’d really like to talk with you.

Any takers?

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image (c) Can Stock Photo.

She’s Trying to Get Back in Our Good Graces

<<Notice the occasional post that’s not from us? That’s our human trying to get back in our good graces again by showing her willingness to keep the blog active. It might work…then again, it might not. Anyone else out there more reliable and desirous of a non-paying job serving our needs?>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Still Thinking About it…

<<We’re still thinking about giving the human back her old job of writing our blog posts. She does have a lot of experience, and her paws do much better on the keyboard than our own, but we have to remind her that our needs come first…ALL of our needs, not just food, shelter, and litter-box cleaning — all of which, admittedly, she does keep up.  The longer we take to give her an answer, the more desperate she gets, which is pretty funny.>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Fired Again

<<The human has hardly posted at all during the last month. She’s been too preoccupied with work deadlines and had too little focus on telling our story to the world. That’s no way to make us feel special. We fired her. She’s contrite and has asked for her old job back. We’re considering it. What do you think? Should we take her back?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo from Fotolia.com.

Meanest Human in the Whole Wide World

Caesar needed some dental work done. He’d already endured a previous visit to the vet during which he got his temperature taken rectally (<<An affront to anyone’s dignity!>>) and blood taken through his neck (<<Bunch of bloodthirsty vampires!>>). Needless to say, he was on guard and didn’t let the mean human get very close to him for weeks once she was out of bed and walking around. (<<Sleeping humans are safe enough to cuddle up against or to wake at 3 am to ask for a snack.>>)

In order to capture him on the day of the dental procedure, the mean human tricked him by opening up a closet door. That got him to come out from under the bed he’d been hiding under to see what was in the closet. She scooped him up and put him in the carrier.  <<Arch betrayer!>> He was so mad at the human that when they arrived at the vet’s office and had to wait 20 minutes for the staff to print out paperwork for the human to sign, that the Emperor refused to exit his carrier. He just glared through the mesh sides.When she went back to pick him up later in the day, he was still holding a grudge and resisted pets when the carrier was opened at the vet’s office. Once she got him home and put him in a bedroom to recover, he again refused to exit his carrier. The human left it on the bed and departed the room so he could get some rest. Fortunately, later in the day, his majesty decided to forgive the mean human and climbed up and lay beside her on the bed. After all, a good ruler mustn’t be seen to hold grudges for too long.

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Krang & Juno Check Out the World

Yes, the bad human has been very busy of late and has not been posting. Nothing new there.  While you wait for her to get her act together, and while the Penta Pack plan their reprisals, here’s a cute pick of Krang (the hairless Sphynx, left) and Juno (the angora fluffernutter, right) checking out their surroundings courtesy of the human’s niece.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo courtesy M. Ray.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Meowsers

<<We shall not mention the fact that the bad human has been working too much of late and has completely neglected the blog.  (She interjects that we should clarify that she has not neglected us — which is true.)  However, we wanted to let our fans know that we have continued to do cute and funny things, many of which the human has photographed. Just as soon as we get her back on the program, you’ll learn all about our adventures. In the meantime, we’re wishing you all the love and cuddles you can stand from your own furry friends. Don’t forget that they would like some special snacks just like us! (hint, hint)>>

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Kitty Colds

Okay, the human has an excuse for the lack of posting and it’s not just that the holidays were fast approaching and so were a bunch of year-end work deadlines.  The Penta Pack has been passing around a kitty cold for weeks. Fireball caught it first and got over it in 4 or 5 days, but not before he gave it to Pepe. Pepe got a nasty upper respiratory infection that required a trip to the vets for an antibiotic to clear his sinus infection. Before he finally cleared it, he passed it over to Mac, who got a miserably runny eye.  In her case, the human has had to medicate her eyes multiple times a day for 10 days, which with that wily little kitty has proven to be quite a challenge. (The human has lots of slashes in her fingers and clothing to prove it.)  We still have a few days of eye ointment to go. Hopefully the miserable excuse for a human will eventually be forgiven and trusted again. Time will tell.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo courtesy of Pond5.com.

Enough is Enough

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

Good, Now that She’s Gone, We’re Going Shopping…

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

P.S. Cats…

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

The Human’s New Friend

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

Be That Way!

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

The Human’s New Home

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.

In My Own Defense…

<<It’s easy to complain about the lack of blogging when you don’t have to do any work to keep the house running or the bills paid.  Certain members of this household consider cuteness to be adequate enough currency for everything. In fact, they think it buys them the right to complain about the one member of the house that does all the work.  Harumph! >>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image courtesy of Fotolia.com.