Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Food

Get with the Program or Get Fired!

<<Human! Get with the program. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and we want food!>>  <<Sassy Face? You’re calling me sassy? You don’t even want to hear the things I’m thinking about you right now! In fact, you couldn’t handle it!>>  <<What do you mean, ‘eat the food left from breakfast?’ If we wanted to eat that food, we’d have done so hours ago.>> <<Diet is a dirty word. Don’t repeat it anymore.>>  <<If you don’t want us to eat the tasty food you buy, why buy tasty food? Sometimes you make no sense at all, human!>>  <<I’m suffering so much right now.  My stomach is turning inside out with hunger. I’m not over-fed, I’m bloated with malnutrition.>>   <<If she’s not going to feed us, might as well get a bath. Do you think we could trade for a better human?>>

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Yes…Please…Grass!

It’s been weeks since the cats had a pot of wheat grass to nosh on.  That’s not because the human has been lazy or forgetful. She’s made many trips further and further away trying to find a store with some healthy live cat grass, but the local supply seems to have evaporated. Just when the 2-legged was convinced she’d have to sprout and grow some grass of her own, she came upon a pot of yummy green grass, which the kitties immediately started munching on and dragging around on the floor. Every now and then the human actually does something useful.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Another Favorite Mousey is Gone

The human found that another favorite toy of the penta pack had spent the night sitting in one of the soft-food bowls, so it had to go off to the great toy box in the sky.  The frequency of toys ending up in food bowls seems to be increasing.  What do you suppose this all means?

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

End of the Line for Brown Mousie

Well, one of the cats’ favorite toy mice has met its end. It spent the night in a bowl of soft food. Fortunately, we have lots more toy mice lying around so the meows won’t be toy-deprived anytime soon. Why they periodically do this is a great mystery to the human.  Toy mice end up floating in water bowls, sitting in bowls of soft food, or even tucked beside or inside the human’s shoes.  Maybe it’s cats’ inscrutable nature that makes them so fascinating.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Bowl Patrol

It’s the afternoon. The human is cranking away on her keyboard and Bowl Patrol members are on duty.First, they visit the human in ones and twos to encourage her to take a break and give them a snack (or a full-blown meal).  If that doesn’t work, they intensify the pressure on the human by standing up and putting their paws on her desk or sinking their claws into her leg, scratching on items they know they shouldn’t, or jumping up and landing next to the keyboard.  The longer the human ignores them, the more intensely they act out. Finally, the silly human takes a break. There is great rejoicing right outside the office door. Of course, it’s important not to act smug like you think you’ve won the battle, so they quickly look away and participate in a bit of personal gratuitous grooming followed by a bit of community grooming.  It’s important to follow the human and make sure she is guided to the snack container or to the crunchy jar.  She often is distracted and completely forgets what you’ve worked hours to get her to do.  Such a silly human.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Love Bears

We’ve been enjoying a glorious break in the heat and humidity since Tuesday and the meows have been a lot more active and sociable. The human has had many daily visits while she pounds away on the keyboard in her office.  This afternoon the Tiger Boys paid her a visit, headbutting her legs and winding around the chair base.  Of course, the fact that the human provides brushings and snacks during these visits doesn’t discourage more of them.

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Messy Eaters

The human made the cardinal sin of dolling out soft food this week that was chunky.  These kitties have texture issues with chunky foods, even when they are served slathered in gravy, so the 2-legged has to mash up the chunks to get them smooth like a pate. However, being a silly human, she wasn’t as focused on the mashing part as she should have been and she left some chunks.  (It’s hard to be super focused on creating a perfect pate when being assailed by Pepe, who is convinced he’s speeding up food prep by trying to get on the counter and at the food and nutrients she’s adding, and while the others sit around and sound off about just how slowly the human is moving.)  Because there were chunks, the Pepster dragged them out of the bowl and deposited them (and the gravy they were drenched in) on the kitchen floor. Just what the human needed: to have to pick up that mess and wash that section of the floor before she started work.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

The Watcher

This is Caesar. He’s on watcher patrol.  That means he’s sitting in the human’s office staring at her. Occasionally he walks over and head-butts her legs or stands up and puts his big Caesar paws on the edge of her desk. He’s already had a brushing and a freeze-dried raw meat snack.  However, he hopes he can encourage her to cough up some additional food if he just practices eyeball juju hard enough.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.