Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Food

Bowl Patrol

It’s the afternoon. The human is cranking away on her keyboard and Bowl Patrol members are on duty.First, they visit the human in ones and twos to encourage her to take a break and give them a snack (or a full-blown meal).  If that doesn’t work, they intensify the pressure on the human by standing up and putting their paws on her desk or sinking their claws into her leg, scratching on items they know they shouldn’t, or jumping up and landing next to the keyboard.  The longer the human ignores them, the more intensely they act out. Finally, the silly human takes a break. There is great rejoicing right outside the office door. Of course, it’s important not to act smug like you think you’ve won the battle, so they quickly look away and participate in a bit of personal gratuitous grooming followed by a bit of community grooming.  It’s important to follow the human and make sure she is guided to the snack container or to the crunchy jar.  She often is distracted and completely forgets what you’ve worked hours to get her to do.  Such a silly human.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Love Bears

We’ve been enjoying a glorious break in the heat and humidity since Tuesday and the meows have been a lot more active and sociable. The human has had many daily visits while she pounds away on the keyboard in her office.  This afternoon the Tiger Boys paid her a visit, headbutting her legs and winding around the chair base.  Of course, the fact that the human provides brushings and snacks during these visits doesn’t discourage more of them.

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Messy Eaters

The human made the cardinal sin of dolling out soft food this week that was chunky.  These kitties have texture issues with chunky foods, even when they are served slathered in gravy, so the 2-legged has to mash up the chunks to get them smooth like a pate. However, being a silly human, she wasn’t as focused on the mashing part as she should have been and she left some chunks.  (It’s hard to be super focused on creating a perfect pate when being assailed by Pepe, who is convinced he’s speeding up food prep by trying to get on the counter and at the food and nutrients she’s adding, and while the others sit around and sound off about just how slowly the human is moving.)  Because there were chunks, the Pepster dragged them out of the bowl and deposited them (and the gravy they were drenched in) on the kitchen floor. Just what the human needed: to have to pick up that mess and wash that section of the floor before she started work.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

The Watcher

This is Caesar. He’s on watcher patrol.  That means he’s sitting in the human’s office staring at her. Occasionally he walks over and head-butts her legs or stands up and puts his big Caesar paws on the edge of her desk. He’s already had a brushing and a freeze-dried raw meat snack.  However, he hopes he can encourage her to cough up some additional food if he just practices eyeball juju hard enough.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What Do You Mean 11:30 am is Too Early for “Dinner?”

The Sass Patrol was out in force the other day. <<I want crunchies! Mind me, human, or pay the consequences.>> Yes, they started in at 11:30 in the morning wanting their dinner.  Mind you, their breakfast was still upstairs uneaten.  It’s amazing how every day they manage to push the clock back a bit further. The human used to make it to 4:30 pm before they’d show up in her office demanding snacks. Then it was 4:00, then 3:00, then 2:00, then 12:30.  You see where this is going, don’t you? The wimpy human has taken to barricading herself in her office when she’s on deadline. Of course, when the tiny cats toss their bodies against the old door in this old house, the door usually opens and in comes the sass patrol demanding obesience. <<Bad, bad human! You are so hard to train.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Evil Human Hits the Meow

The human and the kitties have been having a fun activity first thing in the morning. Since their tiny tummies absolutely positively cannot wait the 7 minutes on average that it takes the human to select a can of soft food, open the can, spoon it out, mix in nutrients, add water, mix it up, and then spoon it out into multiple dishes that are then put on the floor, she has to give them a couple of raw freeze-dried meat snacks to tide them over until breakfast is served — it’s that or face lots of loud sassy commentary from the 4-leggeds who get under the human’s feet and try to get up on the counter to hurry the process along.At first, she just put a few treats in front of each cat, but what was the fun of that?  So to make things more interesting, and ensure everyone got a bit of fun and a bit of exercise, she started tossing the soft, crumbly little cubes around on the floor so the cats had to chase and capture the snack to eat it. Corky has really gotten into the action and barrels right over or through any cat that stands between the snack and his mouth.  A couple of weeks ago the human tossed around treats. They aren’t exactly aerodynamic shapes, so they don’t always land where the human expects and the cats hope they will land.  Unfortunately, she hit Fireball with one of the treats. Mind you, getting hit with one is like getting hit with small marshmallows. (They have to be tossed gently, not thrown with force or they could shatter all over the floor.) Nonetheless, that scared the Fraidy Cat who is so easily frightened by anything and everything. To make matters worse, the next time the game was played, the human tossed a snack over the top of Fireball and Caesar, who were eating their own treats. Of course, in his haste to get to the treat, Corky almost knocked Fireball over. Now the poor Baby Comet skips the treats game and either waits for the human to bring him special snacks in his little nest, or he visits the human in her office and hopes she’ll dispense treats there. <<Bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

“Tricksy” Human

The human did it again. She tipped over the “cookie jar” and stepped back to see if the kitties would participate in self-serve snacks. Pepe got right at it and stuck his paw in the jar. No matter how hard he tried with that clever little paw, he could not manage to pull a snack out.Finally, the “tricksy” human gave in and handed out snacks to all participants.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Plea

This is the Merkitty. She’s just chastised the human for not leaving her office and finding food for the meows…<<at 2:30 in the afternoon, mind you!>>. First she tried cuddles. Then she tried sass. And last she tried a throaty plea for compassion.  When none of those things worked, she looked daggers at the human and called her jailer names under her breath.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.