Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Food

Will You Stop Fussing & Get My Breakfast?

Who cares if the bed is made, the water bowls are washed and refilled, the plants are watered, and the litter boxes are cleaned?  I want food, and I want it now!  And I want better food than what you’ve been serving.  No, I can’t tell you what I want, not exactly, but I know it’s not any of the 5 bags of crunchies and 4 cans of soft food that you currently have open. You’re a human. Can’t you figure it out?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Advertisements

Real Cat Grass…At Last!

The produce manager at the human’s grocery store called first thing Saturday morning to let her know they finally had organic wheat grass in and she should stop by if she wanted any. The human, who was already out and about running errands, drove up there post-haste! Since they’d said they’d have more in next week, she only bought 1 pot so others could have some.  She picked out a lovely, tall pot of grass and triumphantly brought it home to the meows. And what was their reaction? Corky ate some and then threw up on the couch. <<Oh yeah.>> So far no one else seems to be giving it any attention, although Pepe did crouch down behind the plants…staring at his brother Corky across the room.  <<That figures.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

Better, but STILL Not Kitty Grass!

The human still hasn’t found organic wheat grass for the fur furs.  It seems like the local supplies have dried up with the hot weather. Since the last of the old wheat grass was pretty passé, they ignored the rosemary plant, and previous attempts to cut grass and catnip leaves and bring them inside haven’t gone over well, the human was on a mission to find something else.  When she saw a “buy 1, get 1 free” special on live catnip plants the other day, she picked up a pair and triumphantly brought them home and presented the containers to her overlords and overlady.  As you can see, while they were interested and gave the plants an initial sniff or two, that’s about as far as that went. Now mind you, when the human does manage to get cat grass and bring it home, they’ll have 5 minutes of excitement and then ignore that plant too.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

THIS is NOT Kitty Grass!

For weeks, the human’s favorite grocery store had tons of pots of organic wheat grass, so she stopped buying two pots at a time to ensure the kitties had their grass. Now that the weather has turned hot and the indoor plants are back outside for the summer and fall <<Hallelujah!>>, there are no spider plant babies on which to nibble. That means the kitties are alternately grumpy and trying to gnaw on the pathetic-looking kitty grass that’s left — and it’s not looking very good, let me tell you.Last evening the human made her second trip in two days to that store and came home empty handed (as far as kitty grass is concerned).  However, she did find a dandy pot of rosemary for a very good price and picked it up. When the kitties sauntered out to the kitchen to see what the 2-legged was up to and saw her holding a green plant, they got excited and ran over. She set the pot of rosemary down in front of them and all 5 came over and gave it a sniff. Two immediately departed with a disgusted look. <<That’s NOT kitty grass, idiot human. We thought you were a master gardener. Can’t you tell rosemary and wheat grass apart?>> The other 3 were a tad more interested or forgiving and spent more time checking out the greenery. In the end, they all concluded this was not acceptable table fare and walked away. The human will make another visit today, as otherwise punishment of some sort cannot be far away.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Happy Cats (or the Swirling Masses)

What to see what happy cats look like? This is a bag of pure, freeze dried raw chicken breast.  All the human has to do is shake the bag and they come running, plaintive cries and all.  And when the human opens the bag and puts it on the floor, everyone has to have a sniff. There is lots of extraneous grooming as they wait patiently for the human to stop taking pictures and start tossing treats for them to chase.Notice the laser eyes boring into the slow, lazy human who is still too preoccupied with photo-taking to do her job of feeding the meows? She would be fired if there were another human slave nearby who was willing (or could be forced) to assume her duties.  (Heavy sigh…)

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

Must Get the Very Last Crunchie!

Heard a crash early in the morning. Groggy mind went through the options and decided to stay in bed and return to sleep.Sure enough, when the lazy human woke up, this is what she found when she went to change water in the water bowls.Someone was trying to capture fallen crunchies by pulling the absorbent pad out from under the water and, by then, empty crunchy bowls. Funny thing about the rack…it tips over when you pull the pad out from under it.  Notice the flood? Thank goodness the grey rubber mat caught the worst of it. Argh. Merkitty is the suspect.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Bad Crunchies Again

img_4231Well, the human is back in the dog house. She found a bag of crunchies on sale that she’d really wanted to try. They are only partially dehydrated, so in consistency they fall somewhere between a soft treat and the usual hard crunchy.  They also are grain free and didn’t have any undesirable ingredients other than a bit of potato. She nabbed a bag (now 1/3 off) and took it home to her kitties. Sad to say, the new crunchies didn’t go over well, as you can see from above.

The human’s theory is that the reason the whole feeding station is upended is that the kitties were trying to find some of the “acceptable” crunchies that inevitably fall underneath the rack and bowls. (They are very messy eaters!) In trying to pull the absorbent pad with the good crunchies on it closer to their mouths, the tray and bowls that were sitting on the pad flipped over in the other direction. This has all the earmarks of the Merkitty, who has been fairly mellow these last few months…as long as the human was supplying acceptable crunchies. Mess up in that critical department and there is always hell to pay.  Such a Merkitty!

By the way, if anyone can figure out what constitutes an acceptable and a not-acceptable crunchy, please let the human know. She’s sick and tired of paying good money for ultra-premium pet food that the overlords won’t eat. Maybe they need a week of Friskies and 9-Lives to recall that they get pretty good chow in this house.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Table Thief

img_4105Pepe and the human have been going round and round of late on the matter of the silly rule that no cats are allowed on the table or the kitchen counter. They can visit almost anywhere else in the house, but not there.img_4106Unlike his brother Corky, who seems to have no problem with the rule change, Pepe has not adjusted since moving from next door almost 2 years ago.  He’s still testing boundaries on a daily basis.img_4111When the human is eating, she must pull “his” chair up beside her own and pet him while she tries to eat, read, journal, talk with someone on the phone, or catch up on news. There is no excuse for not giving him 100% of her attention. When her attention drifts, as often it does, he keeps things lively, as would be expected.img_4108For example, he is trying to convince the human that just having his front paws on the table doesn’t count as being on the table. After all, most of him is still in the chair.img_4110And leaning forward onto his paws so his chest is on the table still does not constitute a violation of that boundary.img_4114Just let the human leave her seat for a minute to pour a cup of coffee or grab a condiment and the seat stealer is right there sitting in her spot.img_4115And if she has to be gone more than a minute, watch out:  any small item of interest on the table within reach of those paws is fair game to be knocked off and chased around on the floor.img_4118Just before Thanksgiving, the human (who had been working late) decided to use up some leftovers. She poured some crackers onto a dish while she cut a chunk of cheese.  She ate her food while Pepe fussed around on his chair looking for entertainment. The human stood up and turned to the sink for just a minute only to hear Pepe hop into her chair, knock something off the table, and then start chasing it around the slippery kitchen floor like a hockey player.img_4123The human looked back at her spot but could not figure out what the little thief had nabbed. Round and round the kitchen Pepe ran at a faster and faster pace.img_4124The human followed him into a corner only to see the purloined object slide under a rack that holds heavy Dutch ovens. She gave up and went back to her meal only to have Pepe reappear at her feet and leave whatever had been pilfered.img_4121Looking down she saw that it was a broken cracker. Huh! At least he didn’t eat it.img_4120 She got up to put the cracker in the compost pail, then offered him a pen cap, which he usually likes to chase all over the floor — but not that night.img_4125Next the human offered him a nickel figuring it would slide along the floor really fast. Alas, since it was offered, not stolen, the coin held no interest for the feline either.
img_4126Later, after the human had had her meal and cleaned up, she came back down to the kitchen for something only to find that an AA battery that had been sitting in a dish on the table was now on the floor lodged behind a piece of furniture. Cats!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Canny Carnivores

img_3911Alas, all those packaging experts who claim that expensive, impossible to recycle multi-layer packaging keeps freshness locked into the bag and seals out oxygen that degrades food have never met my crew’s noses.  img_3912A few months back the busy human walked out to the kitchen while working late one evening. She’d barely crossed the threshold when she found a bag of crunchies laying on its side with kibble spilling out of a sizable gash.  Lest you think she temps fate often, she’d purchased the bag earlier that day and placed by the cellar door with the intention of carrying it downstairs and securing it in a heavy plastic container before she went to bed. She was too late.img_3913Clearly, the fancy packaging had not locked freshness (and the delicious odors) inside the bag and one (or more) of the cats had smelled them and decided to have a bit of an explore. Alas, with cats, there are so many lessons to learn…

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

Bad Food Choices

img_4025The human has been in trouble for the whole month of December and continuing into the early weeks of January. She made some poor food choices and the cats have been letting her know how unhappy and disappointed they are. Three guesses who’s the worst food critic of all?  <<Am I supposed to be hurt by your criticism? Am I supposed to be cowed into pretending to be happy about the miserable food you’ve been offering us to eat?>>img_4026First the human bought a 15 lb/7 kg bag of an even more costly crunchy food than she usually gets them. This one featured a bunch of different kinds of free-range and wild birds, eggs, and some stream-caught fish.  There’s no grain, no potato, and no legumes. The food is caught and processed into kibble on the same day in the wilds of Western Canada. What’s not to like?  The human isn’t sure what makes it so undesirable unless it’s the shape. It’s a flat disc and a bit bigger than the tiny Xs she’s been feeding them from another company, although 2 months back they devoured another big bag of a fish blend from this same Canadian company and apparently loved it. As far as I recall, the kibble shape was the same. Unfortunately when you buy a 15 lb bag, it takes a bit of time to get through it even with this crew. And when they aren’t gobbling it all down within 15 minutes of filling the bowls, it’s amazing how much longer a big bag lasts. <<And that’s the point, isn’t it? We’re fairly begging for some variety. Why do you feel the need to torture us? Isn’t it enough that you keep us prisoners and play with our feet — even when you know we hate it?>>img_4028And then there’s been the issue of the canned foods. It’s gotten so they only want to eat 2 flavors from 2 different companies. That’s 4 flavors all month. Their narrow food choices actually made things easier, as the human was able to buy cases of the 4 kinds they’ll eat at a little savings. Of course, now that she’s got a lot of cans of the (formerly) favored foods, the cats are sick and tired of eating them. Over the past few months, she’s tried all kinds of other interesting things, from kangaroo to alligator to wild boar to rabbit to venison to beef and sheep tripe to organic chicken with carrots. Again, no grain, no potato, no legumes. What’s not to like? Apparently everything. Argh. <<You’re completely insufferable. Do you really think you’re the only one suffering here? I’m putting you on notice:  this is not all about you! >>img_4027The last few weeks, the human has changed her feeding philosophy. Before, it was “what can I give you that you would like (today)?” but now it’s “Tough love baby. Eat it this morning or it’ll be back for dinner tonight.” Remarkably, when the human isn’t overly generous with the kibble they don’t like anyway, they manage to eat (if not like) the canned food. She’s throwing away far less than she was. Maybe there’s something to be said about tough love. <<You are SO lucky you’re a lot bigger than we are or we’d teach you a lesson you’d never forget. We’ll see how fast you can type when we chew off your fingers while you sleep. Come to think of it, we can wake you up all night long so you get no sleep. A couple of days of that and I’m betting you’ll break out the good stuff for us.>>img_4031If they’ll only finish up the old stuff, she replenished supplies this week and bought a 15 lb bag of the game bird crunchies they adore. She ventured out and tried some different cans from different companies too. We’ll see how sick and tired they really are of the old stuff once we start serving them the new. <<Be that way. See if I don’t chew up the cord on your stupid phone since you’re being so mean to me.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.