Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Human-animal interaction

When You Really, Really, Really Don’t Want to Get Out of Bed

Sometimes it’s not easy getting started with your day. The human was stuck because she couldn’t finish making the bed. The Big Guy was determined that he was not going to move.

Making the bed around the big kitty did not seem to change his mind. He just sat there looking cute…and aggrieved.

The human could hardly blame him, as the 2-legged had a hard time getting out of bed herself. The awful heat and humidity had broken briefly and everyone was enjoying a couple of days of blessed cool with low humidity.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Evilness of Humans

According to both Mac and Caesar, the evilness of humans in this house knows no bounds. For instance, the human picked up Caesar while he was rubbing against her leg and spirited him off to the location of the nail clippers. She then proceeded to hold hm captive while she quickly trimmed all 5 nails on each of his front paws. No harm was done but the Big Guy was NOT pleased! He has made sure to sit down on the floor anytime he gets near the human during the past few days as that makes it much harder for her to pick him up.

Then, poor Mac was catnapped (while having a cat nap) yesterday morning, put in a carrier, and transported to the vet for a checkup. Exams always involve thermometers up the butt and bloodwork. Plus, then Mac was rendered a prisoner cat (isolated in a closed bedroom) for a couple of hours when human and kitty returned home in order to get a clean urine sample that had to be re-transported back to the vet’s office. And this morning, Mac was once again picked up against her will and transported for nail clipping, which the human did quickly and without harm, but completely against Mac’s wishes.

Sometimes it’s unclear whether keeping the human around to pay the mortgage and utilities, open cat food cans, and scoop litter boxes is worth the hassle.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Recent Hit Toy

Not everything the human buys the kitties is a complete failure.

They’ve always loved laser pointers. However, the challenge with most of them is that they require a number of tiny batteries that cost more to replace than the laser pointer costs in the first place. The inexpensive laser pointer suddenly becomes far more costly, not to mention that they contribute toxic waste to landfills for those who have no way to recycle batteries locally.

The human recently found a great laser pointer that solves the problem by being rechargeable via a USB port hidden under a cap on one end. That makes the $10 USD laser pointer pay for itself by the second or third charge. Even better, this LED-based laser pointer has 2 additional settings that activate a flashlight, handy when stumbling around in the dark, and a blacklight, which is perfect for checking for urine (over)spray around litterboxes. Even better, the laser “dot” seems to be slight wider than that of previous laser pointers, and the kitties chase it day and night. In fact, this enrichment toy has proven so well loved that the human ended up purchasing a second one for upstairs as well as down.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Enrichment Toy Failures

Knowing that her furry monsters have no opportunity to go outside, except on the “catio” (screened in porch), the human tries to keep them mentally stimulated and physically active. One way she does that is by purchasing so-called enrichment toys, which are supposed to make them think and move. Now, on balance, most of these toys have been a complete flop with a few exceptions. It’s not that the (completely unbiased) human thinks the kitties are not very smart, it’s that she thinks they are equal parts devious and lazy. Why go to the trouble of pushing the dome around on the puzzle feeder in order to get a few crunchies, when throwing a tantrum at 3 am almost always guarantees that the drowsy human will overfill the crunchy bowl? <<<So much more food for so much less effort!>>> And why run around chasing something when it’s clearly far more entertaining to make the human run around and retrieve things instead?

Here is a sad list of failed enrichment toy purchases that did not live up to their billing.

The flopping fish (too scary for big kitties)

The puzzle feeder (mostly the 4 that could operate it just sat around looking at the human and imploring her to turn the dome instead of doing it themselves)

And the newest flop? The (soundless) clear ball that flashes a sequence of colored lights when bumped (they just look at the toy, then at the human, as if to ask <<<Why? What were you thinking?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Leisurely Cat Fishing Session

Three of the felines were bored. They kept interrupting the human and her work. Finally, the 2-legged gave up and took a 15 minute break to play with the meows. The infamous (cat) fishing pole — arguably the most successful cat toy the human has ever purchased — came out and the kitties began to play.

First Caesar made a very energetic showing of chasing the little scrap of denim material at the end of the fishing line. So fast (and scary) is he when he’s jazzed up, that it requires both the human’s hands to keep from being run over or losing the entire pole to Caesar’s swatting paws and biting teeth (hence, no photos). However, his burst of energy depleted, the Big Guy laid down and watched Corky take over.

Corky, too, had a great time until big brother Pepe decided to get in on the action. At that point, the other two kitties looked away and the Pepster had the fishing pole all to himself. Eventually both 2-legged and 4-leggeds tired of all the action and retired to their respective corners.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Pillow Pal

The 2-legged is very lucky because, in addition to lots of Velcro furballs who are always glued to her body when she’s laying or sitting down, she also has multiple pillow pals that keep her company at night. The original pillow pal was Fireball, who will occasionally climb onto the human’s pillow when she’s sleeping on her side and curl up around her face. His tummy is so soft and fluffy, and his song is so sweet, that Fireball visits are always special. Unfortunately, being that close to kitty fur does not help the human’s allergies. Sadly, Fireball visits are always short, so you have to enjoy them while they last.

The next pillow pal was Caesar and he still visits daily. He favors wedging his big soft body between the headboard and the top of the human’s head and singing away for an hour or more. Sometimes he slides forward on the pillow, puts one big paw on the closest human shoulder, then curls his head into the crook of the human’s neck and falls asleep. <<<Awww!>>> Caesar is the only cat who will stay on the pillow once the human vacates the space. He also has become somewhat tolerant of the human gently stroking his velveteen paws, as long as she doesn’t push her luck and try to pet them for too long.

Mac is a more recent pillow pal recruit, as she normally favors stretching across the human’s body where it’s easy for her to get stroked and treated like the princess she is. She too is nearly a daily visitor. And being Mac, there are usually several headstand/head rollies before she settles down, and she will often wedge her sleek little body in between Caesar’s body and the human’s head. <<<We won’t mention what that does to the human’s hair.>>> However, let the human’s fingers get too close to her adorable paws and she’s bolts off the pillow as fast as can be. <<<There is only so much I’m willing to tolerate to give the human a little love.>>>

The most recent pillow pal member is Pepe. He favors laying slightly to the side of the human’s head. After all, even though he’s a big kitty, the human’s head is nearly as large as he is and he’s wary of getting smunched. He likes it when the human reaches up and gives him pets, but if she gets tricksy…as she often does when she tries to pet his paws…then he’s out of there! Unlike Caesar, who doesn’t mind sharing the pillow with the human and Mac, Pepe leaves if Mac approaches.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Not Pleased with Our Human

We tried replacing our human a few years back when she completely ignored our blog for several months. Unfortunately, no other human seemed to want the job we offered. We adjusted our expections downward (by several orders of magnitude) and decided to chill when our 2-legged got really busy and didn’t make time to let our fans know what we’ve been doing. Still, that doesn’t make it easy and it certainly doesn’t mean that we have to like it when our blog gets ignored. (Don’t worry, our human is still doing all the important household tasks to keep us healthy and well fed.) Still, humans are really challenging pets to keep and they require constant training.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Caesar & the Scary Human

The human started to walk toward the Emperor Kitty, who was otherwise engaged in deep thoughts.

The Big Guy glanced nervously at the approaching human. <<<Does she have the nail clippers hiding in her hands?>>>

<<<Pretend to look away so she doesn’t think you’re watching her. Maybe she’ll just walk by.>>> And she did. No kitties were harmed, no nails were trimmed, no feet were illegally petted, only a couple of quick pics were shot and the 2-legged went on her way. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Little Morning Exercise

The human was eating her breakfast and the Pepster was right beside her. For a while, he was content to just lay sprawled out on the chair, but then he got bored.

He started looking for something he could steal to entertain himself. The human pulled out a small piece of metallized film from a treat she’d finished and began waving the piece back and forth along the back of the chair.

The Pepster had a grand time attacking the shiny object the human was moving here and there.

Eventually he tired and left for the upstairs. At least he got a little exercise.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Dereliction of Duty

<<<Clearly, even a human can see that the bottom is showing in this crunchy bowl.>>>

<<<You can’t possibly expect us to eat out of a bowl that’s almost empty. Why do you make us suffer so?>>>

<<<Really, you don’t plan to refill the bowl? We’ll starve!>>>

<<<Come on, there’s nothing worth eating here. Maybe we should advertise for a new human again?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What’s the Purpose of All This?

There he sat, facing the wall with his head turned away, as though pondering the meaning of the universe.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Are You REALLY Making Fun of My Face Again?

<<<That’s not even civil, let alone fair.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Strategic Utilization of Sunlight

The human walked upstairs in the middle of the afternoon and spied one of the cats strategically positioned to enjoy a spot of sunlight. At first the human wasn’t even sure which cat it was.

As the two-legged drew closer, she thought she saw a pair of little white feet, indicating it was Corky.

Sure enough, it was the little Banu Bear, who appeared to be in a good mood and not intending on moving anywhere anytime soon. <<<Can’t a guy relax and enjoy a little peace in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Meeting of the Minds

Caesar and Pepe were having a meeting of the minds. They were dividing up the territory and deciding who would govern each region. Of course, there was also the matter of the human, who needs constant supervision and frequent reinstruction. They concluded that task was too big a burden for any one cat to take on, even with all their superpowers, so they decided to share the responsibility.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why do You Always Blame Me?

<<<Just saying…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Mac Among the Plants

The human happened to walk into the living room and spied a little face sticking up among the plants. She was catching some sunrays and enjoying being partially hidden by the couch.

Unfortunately for the Merkitty, the human spied her and started snapping photos.

Which just caused the Smirky one to ignore the 2-legged and pretend that she and her camera weren’t approaching.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Big Boys Enjoy a Snooze

The Big Boys, Pepe (front) and Caesar (back) were enjoying a little snooze in the afternoon sunshine. However, as the camera-wielding human walked closer, both were on guard lest the two-legged try to pet paws and foreheads. Fortunately for them, the human was well behaved this time.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What do You Mean by ‘Don’t Make that Face?’

<<<And what makes you think you have the right to say anything about me anyway?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Thoughtful Contemplation

Caesar had his head tilted slightly and was staring off into the distance. This was not his usual wary stance as the human and the evil camera crept close and his paws were exposed to possible petting.

Suddenly, he whipped his head to the other side, but still didn’t meet the human’s gaze.

<<<Can’t I have a few moments to myself in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.