Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Vocalization

Get with the Program or Get Fired!

<<Human! Get with the program. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and we want food!>>  <<Sassy Face? You’re calling me sassy? You don’t even want to hear the things I’m thinking about you right now! In fact, you couldn’t handle it!>>  <<What do you mean, ‘eat the food left from breakfast?’ If we wanted to eat that food, we’d have done so hours ago.>> <<Diet is a dirty word. Don’t repeat it anymore.>>  <<If you don’t want us to eat the tasty food you buy, why buy tasty food? Sometimes you make no sense at all, human!>>  <<I’m suffering so much right now.  My stomach is turning inside out with hunger. I’m not over-fed, I’m bloated with malnutrition.>>   <<If she’s not going to feed us, might as well get a bath. Do you think we could trade for a better human?>>

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Now Here’s Something You Don’t See Every Day!

Corky and Fireball have a tenuous relationship.  Corky spent years being subjugated by big (and bigger) brother Pepe before the two moved here.  He hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be picked on constantly for no other reason than just existing.  And, unfortunately, Fireball was the least-welcoming kitty when Corky and Pepe joined the household.  Therefore, it’s not surprising that when Corky is feeling frustrated, spunky, or frisky, he takes it out on Fireball, who — despite an early show of threat when Corky and Pepe were housed behind a door in another room — turns and runs, much to Corky’s delight.It’s not that Corky does much more than chase Fireball with an occasional threatening yowl. The Corkster has no front claws and the Baby Comet has a full set of sharp little claws…if only he’d threaten to use them once or twice and stop the bullying once and for all, but he doesn’t.  Since Corky often hassles Fireball, the two have a strained relationship and rarely are seen together in peaceable terms.  However, the other evening while the human read, Corky dozed nearby in one of the kitty beds. Fireball hopped up for a visit. After getting his obligatory round of pets and cuddles from the human, he shockingly stepped into the kitty bed with Corky and started mixing on the soft fleece blankets. Mind you, a second kitty bed was nearby and available but remained empty. They stayed in the bed together for about 15 minutes. Corky acted mildly miffed or concerned for a moment or so, then settled back and ignored the intruder, who, true to form, stayed for a short visit and then went bounding off to more interesting things.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Curtain Beater

Corky has developed the craziest way of acting out lately. When the human is reluctant to refill the food bowl, he ducks behind some curtains in front of a sliding-glass door, stands on his back legs, and then bats the curtains for all he’s worth while letting out a string of vocal complaints.  The camera hasn’t managed to catch him in the act yet, but it has caught him right after doing the dirty deed. Notice his tail is still under the fabric? Why would you suppose that beating up on some curtains would make the human do what you want?Does he look guilty to you? This acting out often does have the desired effect of encouraging the human to put a few more crunchies in the food bowl. Hence, there’s probably little hope that he’ll stop anytime soon.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Messy Eaters

The human made the cardinal sin of dolling out soft food this week that was chunky.  These kitties have texture issues with chunky foods, even when they are served slathered in gravy, so the 2-legged has to mash up the chunks to get them smooth like a pate. However, being a silly human, she wasn’t as focused on the mashing part as she should have been and she left some chunks.  (It’s hard to be super focused on creating a perfect pate when being assailed by Pepe, who is convinced he’s speeding up food prep by trying to get on the counter and at the food and nutrients she’s adding, and while the others sit around and sound off about just how slowly the human is moving.)  Because there were chunks, the Pepster dragged them out of the bowl and deposited them (and the gravy they were drenched in) on the kitchen floor. Just what the human needed: to have to pick up that mess and wash that section of the floor before she started work.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Tiger Boy Cuddles

Here are the sweet Tiger Boys all snuggled up in a kitty bed with limbs and tails a tangle.Big Caesar has his big paw wrapped around his little “brother” Fireball.  Fireball has his prehensile tail all curled up and is enjoying being close to his adored best friend.  Not only does Caesar keep him warm and safe, but he grooms Fireball to boot. So glad these kitties are best buds. While they may not be biologically related, they have lived together for 8-1/2 years — 6 of them here — and they adore each other. That’s not to say they don’t get into tussles and rumbles. They’re quite noisy when they race through the house with the Emperor loudly chasing a squeaking, chirping Baby Comet.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What Do You Mean 11:30 am is Too Early for “Dinner?”

The Sass Patrol was out in force the other day. <<I want crunchies! Mind me, human, or pay the consequences.>> Yes, they started in at 11:30 in the morning wanting their dinner.  Mind you, their breakfast was still upstairs uneaten.  It’s amazing how every day they manage to push the clock back a bit further. The human used to make it to 4:30 pm before they’d show up in her office demanding snacks. Then it was 4:00, then 3:00, then 2:00, then 12:30.  You see where this is going, don’t you? The wimpy human has taken to barricading herself in her office when she’s on deadline. Of course, when the tiny cats toss their bodies against the old door in this old house, the door usually opens and in comes the sass patrol demanding obesience. <<Bad, bad human! You are so hard to train.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When All Else Fails…

And the human is taking forever to get out of bed, knock the ball around the track and yowl. It probably won’t get breakfast served any faster, but it does ease a lot of stress and strain.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Plea

This is the Merkitty. She’s just chastised the human for not leaving her office and finding food for the meows…<<at 2:30 in the afternoon, mind you!>>. First she tried cuddles. Then she tried sass. And last she tried a throaty plea for compassion.  When none of those things worked, she looked daggers at the human and called her jailer names under her breath.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.