Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Vocalization

Thunderbear has become ThunderRainBear

It’s summer and it’s been terribly hot and humid. That means, thunderstorms have been moving through the area with increased frequency. Caesar, the Thunderbear, is terribly afraid of the sound of thunder as well as the ridiculous amount of fireworks that tend to be set off in this neighborhood between mid-June and early July. Prepandemic, fireworks could last 5-6 hours/night every night for weeks, absolutely terrorizing the Big Guy.

Unfortunately, Caesar now associates the sound of rain with the possibility of thunderstorms, no matter how unlikely the latter are. That means that every time he hears it rain — and it’s been doing that with great frequency and leaving great amounts of water of late — he huddles under the human’s chair and glues himself to her feet and ankles. <<<Why can’t the human make the scary sounds go away?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Defect in the Bowl

<<<For those with eyes and a willingness to see reality, there clearly is a defect in the bowl on the right. It is utterly empty…devoid of even the smallest crumb of food. You can tell this because of the gaping chasm at the bottom of the bowl. Those brown things? Not sure what they are. Not food anyway.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Bowl or No Bowl?

Corky and Macaroni have a new “thing.” They cannot possibly eat out of a bowl of crunchies once a small section of the bottom of the bowl starts to show. No, it doesn’t matter how many crunchies are scattered all around the sides (as can be seen above). That bowl is now absolutely off limits, which means the human is in trouble and both cats are going to act out.

Interestingly, if the human just shakes the bowl and redistributes the contents so the bottom no longer shows, then the bowl is quite fine and the bad behavior stops — at least for a short time, until a small part of the bottom of the bowl shows again. Clearly, the human does not understand the need for such panic, so Corky and Mac amp up the mischief until the human can be persuaded to refill the bowl again.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Watcher

The human was sitting on the floor sorting through some boxes. There was no one around. All of a sudden, the human heard a squeak. She looked up and out popped Pepe’s head and front paws from the lower level of one of the kitty condos. Apparently he’d been watching her for a while. <<Spooky!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

Corky has a Little Roll

Corky loves playing on crackly paper and in paper bags, just like his brother Pepe.  The human had sprinkled some dried catnip on the crackly paper, so the Corkster decided to have a little sniff and roll.  He flipped from side to side, making the cutest squeaky noises. Since he was clearly having a grand time, and he’s hard to photograph, the human moved in quickly with her camera to gets some pics. That killed the mood and the Banu Bear got up and walked away.  <<That human spoils everything!>>

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

Peculiar Things

Corky and Mac have a peculiar hang up involving the crunchy bowl.  They absolutely throw a hissy fit if, as they’re eating their way down through the contents of the bowl, they see a small space open up at the bottom of the container. Even though there are plenty of crunchies still in the bowl, it’s as though once they spy the bottom of the dish, that must mean the dish is empty.  This usually happens in the middle of the night when the silly 2-legged is trying to sleep. Corky yowls and starts beating up the curtains in front of the sliding doors and Mac does a variety of things ranging from scratching furniture to unplugging devices from the electrical receptacles. And both of the little darlings throw water all over the floor. <<You can see some in the upper right corner above.>>  The exhausted human wakes up, gets out of bed, looks at the crunchy bowl, points to all the crunchies that are still in there, and goes back to sleep. This goes on for several rounds a night until either the human gives in and refills the bowl or the cats give in and go to sleep. Well, last night, a very exciting thing happened. Apparently, they tried hard to wake the human, but she just kept rolling over and hiding under the covers. Apparently, in desperation, the cats actually ate almost all the crunchies out of the bowl. Now that’s progress!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

While You Lay Sleeping

Sometimes the human thinks she doesn’t sleep much at night, but evidence to the contrary meets her eyes the following morning.  For example, three nights ago the two-legged woke to find not 1, not 2, but 7 tiny toy mice lined up beside her bed. She crushed a couple while climbing down from the tall bed in the dark the following morning. The cats always make that distinctive throaty moaning sound as they drag toy mice upstairs for the human and drop them on the floor. The fact that the human didn’t hear that happen 7 times in the same night suggests that she was out of it.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

True Evil Stalks the Cats this Week

Well, the evil two-legged had a bit of time on her hands. While she was eating her lunch, Caesar and Mac came down for a visit and the Big C made the mistake of getting too close to the human, who scooped him up in her arms and headed into the bathroom where she shut the door, wrapped the struggling prisoner in a big towel, and pulled out the horrible nail clippers. <<Mind you, the terrible human has never once trimmed too high and hurt the kitties, but you’d think she was in the habit of regularly removing toes instead of a tiny bit of claw the way they fight the process.>> There were some mighty unpleasant sounds that ensued, but before too long, Caesar Tiger Bear emerged intact except for his front claws being a bit shorter. He only held a grudge for about 10 minutes before he was back whacking his body against the human’s leg. Earlier in the week the horrendous human managed to capture the Merkitty and trim her aquatic flipper claws. It took her about 6 hours to forgive the transgression.

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

Hangry

It’s 4:00 in the afternoon and Cranky Corky is hangry. Yes, the hypoglycemic one is snarking about, throwing temper tantrums and yowling at the human. The 2-legged was supposed to dole out crunchies hours ago, never mind the fact that breakfast remains mostly uneaten and that most of the cats got to hunt for raw freeze-dried nuggets several hours ago. This is how the human gets in trouble with her 4-legged masters. She’d best do her duty lest she find her bed moved out into the snow piles again.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

Show us Your Sassy Face!

This is the “Hurry up and get your tail out of bed and put food in our dishes” sassy face.

<<Such a bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Unforgiven

It was late afternoon and the human had worked too long. The Monsters were hungry and they weren’t taking “Please wait a few minutes!” for an answer anymore.  Caesar was especially sassy, using loud vocal complaints to express the pain he felt from an empty stomach. <<We won’t mention all the food from the morning that still sat uneaten on the stairs.>>  The human worked fast and furious at getting the food prepared. Still, it wasn’t fast enough and she took too long to make it a priority. The cats weren’t in a forgiving mood — and why should they be?

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Corky vs. the Blue Egg

The Corkster loves chasing the wobbly/spinny toys, especially when he gets to play with one alone, when his brother isn’t there to hog all the attention. He’s really far more patient than his brother, who has the cat equivalence of ADHD. He’ll quietly stalk the spinning, wobbling toy for several minutes before moving in on it. After checking it out to make sure there’s no danger, he’ll hit it with a soft paw to see what happens. Of course, one of the fun things about these toys is that they will immediately pop back up again and their top keeps spinning around even when they’re laying on their side.He hasn’t developed his brother’s technique of holding the toy down and letting the top spin itself off from the base, but he does enjoy the exercise. And it’s good to see him get some exercise while having a bit of fun too.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What Do You Think it Does?

<<When the human presents you with a new toy, you’re supposed to be super psyched.>><<Woohoo!  What do you suppose this one is supposed to do?>> <<Oh, it spins around. Am I providing sufficient positive reinforcement for the fragile human ego?>><<Whoohoo! This is so much fun!>> <<How long do I need to keep up the interesting banter?>> <<If you don’t make a big deal about whatever she dragged home for us, she gets all mumpy faced. Humans are such big babies!>> <<But really! How many times can you chase this silly thing in a circle and then knock it over before it gets to be very boring?>> <<If I brought such a thing to her, how long do you think she’d play with it?>><<I’ve seen how long she plays with the toy mice we bring her. Not long at all!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Playful Paws

Caesar Tiger Bear has some interesting bedtime routines.

First, he takes a big dump in one of the litter boxes.  What’s funny about a bowel movement? Well, he starts covering the smell in one box, and after digging frantically there (including up and down the sides of the lid), then he gets out and goes over to a second box, climbs in, and continues covering in that box.  Presumably he’s not quite clear on the connection between cause and effect.

If that’s not funny enough, the Big Guy must feel pretty good after losing that load, so he then comes out and scampers about on the floor. After stopping to scratch one of the kitty condos, he prances some more, then picks up a toy and dances around making funny little moaning sounds. By then he’s worked his way across to the other side of the room where he drops the toy and scratches on the scratching disc or he chases a ball or two around one of the other toys.

After all that energetic bouncing about, the Emperor lands on the bed and demands that the human hold up the blankets and tent her knees so he has a nice cozy spot to sleep in for 15 or 20 minutes.

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Scowl Patrol

<<You call that a snack? It was hardly worth wandering downstairs to investigate, let alone eat. >>  <<Dare we say, ‘Disappointed?’>>

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Get with the Program or Get Fired!

<<Human! Get with the program. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and we want food!>>  <<Sassy Face? You’re calling me sassy? You don’t even want to hear the things I’m thinking about you right now! In fact, you couldn’t handle it!>>  <<What do you mean, ‘eat the food left from breakfast?’ If we wanted to eat that food, we’d have done so hours ago.>> <<Diet is a dirty word. Don’t repeat it anymore.>>  <<If you don’t want us to eat the tasty food you buy, why buy tasty food? Sometimes you make no sense at all, human!>>  <<I’m suffering so much right now.  My stomach is turning inside out with hunger. I’m not over-fed, I’m bloated with malnutrition.>>   <<If she’s not going to feed us, might as well get a bath. Do you think we could trade for a better human?>>

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Now Here’s Something You Don’t See Every Day!

Corky and Fireball have a tenuous relationship.  Corky spent years being subjugated by big (and bigger) brother Pepe before the two moved here.  He hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be picked on constantly for no other reason than just existing.  And, unfortunately, Fireball was the least-welcoming kitty when Corky and Pepe joined the household.  Therefore, it’s not surprising that when Corky is feeling frustrated, spunky, or frisky, he takes it out on Fireball, who — despite an early show of threat when Corky and Pepe were housed behind a door in another room — turns and runs, much to Corky’s delight.It’s not that Corky does much more than chase Fireball with an occasional threatening yowl. The Corkster has no front claws and the Baby Comet has a full set of sharp little claws…if only he’d threaten to use them once or twice and stop the bullying once and for all, but he doesn’t.  Since Corky often hassles Fireball, the two have a strained relationship and rarely are seen together in peaceable terms.  However, the other evening while the human read, Corky dozed nearby in one of the kitty beds. Fireball hopped up for a visit. After getting his obligatory round of pets and cuddles from the human, he shockingly stepped into the kitty bed with Corky and started mixing on the soft fleece blankets. Mind you, a second kitty bed was nearby and available but remained empty. They stayed in the bed together for about 15 minutes. Corky acted mildly miffed or concerned for a moment or so, then settled back and ignored the intruder, who, true to form, stayed for a short visit and then went bounding off to more interesting things.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Curtain Beater

Corky has developed the craziest way of acting out lately. When the human is reluctant to refill the food bowl, he ducks behind some curtains in front of a sliding-glass door, stands on his back legs, and then bats the curtains for all he’s worth while letting out a string of vocal complaints.  The camera hasn’t managed to catch him in the act yet, but it has caught him right after doing the dirty deed. Notice his tail is still under the fabric? Why would you suppose that beating up on some curtains would make the human do what you want?Does he look guilty to you? This acting out often does have the desired effect of encouraging the human to put a few more crunchies in the food bowl. Hence, there’s probably little hope that he’ll stop anytime soon.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Messy Eaters

The human made the cardinal sin of dolling out soft food this week that was chunky.  These kitties have texture issues with chunky foods, even when they are served slathered in gravy, so the 2-legged has to mash up the chunks to get them smooth like a pate. However, being a silly human, she wasn’t as focused on the mashing part as she should have been and she left some chunks.  (It’s hard to be super focused on creating a perfect pate when being assailed by Pepe, who is convinced he’s speeding up food prep by trying to get on the counter and at the food and nutrients she’s adding, and while the others sit around and sound off about just how slowly the human is moving.)  Because there were chunks, the Pepster dragged them out of the bowl and deposited them (and the gravy they were drenched in) on the kitchen floor. Just what the human needed: to have to pick up that mess and wash that section of the floor before she started work.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.