Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Brat-a-Saurus Messes with the Silly Human

Of late, Cranky Corky (aka Brat-a-Saurus) has had a great game going with the human. He starts in anywhere from midnight on and wails plaintively about the lack of fresh crunchies in the food bowl. (No worries, he’s not sick, he just hates being on a diet.)  Never mind that there is soft food sitting in one bowl and crunchies that are now puffed up from absorbing water sitting in a second bowl right next to him. No, he wants fresh crunchies and he wants them now! If the human doesn’t respond, he literally jumps in bed and stomps on her body, then he pounces on Mac and bites her neck or he chases poor Fireball off the bed and all the way downstairs.  In short, Cranky Corky is a royal pain in the back side and a complete brat.  Only when the human gets up and dispenses a small amount of fresh crunchies does peace and quiet return — for a few hours at least. Unfortunately, the more the human acquiesces, the more frequently the Angry Ankylosaurus pulls this stunt. The other option is to lock the Crankster in the other bedroom, although then everyone has to listen to him whine and complain for several hours before he settles down.  Anyone interested in adopting cute, middle-aged male cat with grey & white tuxedo markings? I might know one who needs a new home.  (Said by a human operating on weeks of little sleep.)

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Goofy Girl & the Spin Cycle

We’ve once again had crazy ups and downs in temperature here and the last three nights we got snow — not a huge amount, but enough that the kitties got snow sillies out of it.Case in point: the Goofy Girl got all sillied up.  First she got into one of the kitty beds and started kicking around an adorable little felted toy.  Next she spun in circles chasing it around on her paws. You’d think she was in the spin cycle of a washing machine.Then she flipped upside down and gave it backfoot furnippies. And while she was kicking and biting the toy, she looked back and reached a fore paw over and bopped poor Fireball on the head. He was sitting in an adjacent kitty bed watching her antics.  She alternated kicking the toy and harassing her brother until she tired of her silliness and got up. Next she chased Fireball out of his bed, then she got into a flurry of fistacuffs with Big Caesar. Then she flew off the bed and went looking for a toy mouse to chase up and down the stairs. We could hear her making that funny moaning sound the kitties make when they’re carrying around a big “kill” (toy mouse) they’ve just vanquished. All of a sudden, Goofy Girl came flying through the air again and landed back in bed and began bothering Caesar and Fireball again, who’d returned to their soft warm beds when the little minx vanished. On and on they went for hours last night.  Of course, as soon as the human brought out the evil camera and started taking shots, Macadoodle got embarrassed she’d been caught being silly and began some gratuitous grooming. Mustn’t let humans see you being other than dignified….

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Give me Attention or Suffer the Consequences!

This is the once petite and sweet Juniper, who owns the human’s niece.  Said niece had been very busy with work and life and had left Princess Fluffernutter home alone a lot lately.  When that 2-legged did return home — with mail in tow — and found a magazine she wanted to read, she tossed it on the couch intending to curl up and read it.  However, the Princess wasn’t going to be ignored any longer. She hopped up and defiantly laid herself across the magazine so it was now inaccessible to the human — at least without expending some effort.

What’s the moral to this story? Ignore a cat at your peril!

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo by M. Ray.

Spooning

Caesar and Mac enjoying some quality cuddle time in one of the kitty beds.  (Good thing the human buys extra-large beds.)

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Cookie Jar

The kitties each get 2 raw freeze-dried treats from the “cookie jar” in the morning. This temporarily fills big holes in little tummies and buys the human a bit of time to get their soft food prepared before the yowling begins.  Originally, the human used to toss treats around on the floor and invite each cat to go chase down the snacks. Most would literally hunker down and stare at the human as if she was crazy. Even when the human managed to successfully get a snack to land right beside a cat, the cat usually could not be bothered to turn and nibble. However, if the human kneels down on the floor and puts all the treats out in front of the cats, then they are happy to eat. While one could never really say they are well behaved as the human prepares to divvy up snacks, they are remarkably restrained given how they act at other times.The trick is not to stay and enjoy watching them nosh on their nibbles, but to quickly put the lid back on and run to the kitchen and get the soft food prepared as soon as possible. Some mornings the human remembers the bigger goal; some mornings she just enjoys watching the penta pack enjoy their treats. Those days she deserves the yowling that follows.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Why are You Bothering Me?

Needless to say, the human didn’t have a good answer…or at least one that was acceptable to Miss Mu.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What is that Lump?

The other morning, the human spied a lump under the furry blanket on the bed.  Notice the tail tip sticking out? Now who could that be?Ah, wouldn’t you know it’s Pepe!

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

How to Help a Sick Human Recover

Ah, your human is waylaid with influenza? That’s bad luck on your part as that means she’ll be focused on her own survival and not on your whims and desires.  The trick is to help your human recover so quickly that she once again returns to her role of faithful servant.  Here are some pointers.

  1. Do settle your 18 lb bulk on the human’s ribs and chest — all the better if you’re pressing down on one lung. The human will thank you later for helping strengthen her breathing.
  2. Push your face up really close to the human’s. Make sure your whiskers tickle her face.  Breathe on her (even if it means she breathes on you too). Reach out and lick her chin.  If she still doesn’t respond, step on her chin with one of your paws and press down. Guaranteed that will make her sit up.
  3. If she’s whimpering in a fetal curl, walk up and down her achy hips and legs. That may help ease some of her joint pain. Or not.
  4. If you can get her to lift the covers so you can slide under, fall asleep in her arms. When you wake up, make sure to reach up and poke her in the face. You want to make sure she’s still breathing.
  5. Human not doling out snacks and pets? Jump up on her and push your fluffy fur into her face.  That will help her breathe better.  Try clawing the pillows around her face to see if she responds.
  6. Yowl every 3 hours for food even if there are 3 kinds of food already laid out on the floor. (You can’t seriously be expected to have to eat old food from dirty bowls.) This way she doesn’t fall into a coma (or get much sleep).  If she cusses and snarls from her deathbed about all the food that’s out on the floor, jump up on her in bed and sing a song.  She’ll relax and stop the bad behavior. Just as she’s about to fall asleep, jump on her bladder or walk on her head. The latter is always helpful with influenza, since her head feel like it’s caught in a giant pair of vice grips anyway. Yelling will make her headache worse and will intensify the pain in every corner of her skull, including her teeth.  You’ve done your job. She’s still alive!
  7. Tag team her with your best pals.  Make sure she is surrounded and that everyone is singing songs to help her feel better.  Lull her back to sleep…for the moment.  Then repeat the above.

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Red in Bed

Need we say more?

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Finally, a New Cat Bed Gets a Lodger

Remember the two new kitty beds the human dragged home after Thanksgiving? Well, it would be an understatement to say they have not gotten a lot of love. Despite their incredibly plush interior and the opportunities each offers for a kitty person to hide in plain sight, they have had little use as proper beds.  (The human got them on clearance, so therein may lie the problem.)Pepe does love to attack the pompoms on the blue one that looks like a jewelry pouch. In fact, he batted the decorations so hard that he split the thread holding one of the poms together, then had a grand time chasing the fibrous ball of fluff that had been inside. (It’s since been lost, so no go on the human fixing it unless she wants to buy a big bag of fiberfill just to fix a single pompom.)However, the triangular/teepee-shaped bed finally got a visitor. The human spied the inhabitant, flipped on the light, and edged ever closer with the camera, much to the annoyance of the feline in question. It’s behavior like this that earns the human scowls!

Happy New Year, one and all. Thanks for following the antics of the meows over the last 12 months.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.