Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Fears & Phobias

Thunderbear has become ThunderRainBear

It’s summer and it’s been terribly hot and humid. That means, thunderstorms have been moving through the area with increased frequency. Caesar, the Thunderbear, is terribly afraid of the sound of thunder as well as the ridiculous amount of fireworks that tend to be set off in this neighborhood between mid-June and early July. Prepandemic, fireworks could last 5-6 hours/night every night for weeks, absolutely terrorizing the Big Guy.

Unfortunately, Caesar now associates the sound of rain with the possibility of thunderstorms, no matter how unlikely the latter are. That means that every time he hears it rain — and it’s been doing that with great frequency and leaving great amounts of water of late — he huddles under the human’s chair and glues himself to her feet and ankles. <<<Why can’t the human make the scary sounds go away?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Evilness of Humans

According to both Mac and Caesar, the evilness of humans in this house knows no bounds. For instance, the human picked up Caesar while he was rubbing against her leg and spirited him off to the location of the nail clippers. She then proceeded to hold hm captive while she quickly trimmed all 5 nails on each of his front paws. No harm was done but the Big Guy was NOT pleased! He has made sure to sit down on the floor anytime he gets near the human during the past few days as that makes it much harder for her to pick him up.

Then, poor Mac was catnapped (while having a cat nap) yesterday morning, put in a carrier, and transported to the vet for a checkup. Exams always involve thermometers up the butt and bloodwork. Plus, then Mac was rendered a prisoner cat (isolated in a closed bedroom) for a couple of hours when human and kitty returned home in order to get a clean urine sample that had to be re-transported back to the vet’s office. And this morning, Mac was once again picked up against her will and transported for nail clipping, which the human did quickly and without harm, but completely against Mac’s wishes.

Sometimes it’s unclear whether keeping the human around to pay the mortgage and utilities, open cat food cans, and scoop litter boxes is worth the hassle.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Look What She Did to My Nails!

<<<First the evil human used the even more evil clippers on Caesar and then she used them on me. Look what she did to my beautiful nails! Is there no authority protecting bodily sanctity here? Okay, so maybe I was shredding the legs of her mahogany bed when she didn’t get up and refill my crunchy bowl at 2 am. Hey, I can’t eat out of it when the bottom is showing. Besides, how are these things even remotely comparable ?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Human and the Clippers

<<<The human has been mumbling about trimming my toenails. I’ve managed to escape her every time she tries to sneak up on me with something in her hands. Only when the two-legged is laying down and mostly helpless do I flop down on top of her and demand the attention that is my due.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Almost Made it…

We got to day 4. The human even managed to clip Cocoa’s front claws without bloodshed. However, late that evening, the human stepped out of the big bedroom for a nature break and was a bit too careless when returning to bed. Fireball made a major jail break and spent that night and the next day out. First thing he did was run across the hall and start pushing first his nose and then those clever red paws under the door. Fortunately, Cocoa must have been in her kitty bed and not watching. If there were any altercations on opposite sides of the door during the night, the human didn’t hear them…and she didn’t fall asleep until after 1 am, so upset was she that she’d let Fireball escape. The next day, the Little Red Bee was missing his best buddies, Mac and Caesar, but there was little chance he’d let the human pick him up and return him to the bedroom, so he had to live with the choices he made in the spur of the moment. There were 5 happy cats when Cocoa’s family returned and she went back to her house.

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

No One is Happy in this House

<<The human has let another cat in the house. It’s in the other bedroom right across the hall. Corky made a jail break for 30 minutes and confirmed this arch betrayal. We also feel resentful that we should all be locked up. It’s our house. Whatever was that human thinking?>>

This is Cocoa. Her humans next door had to go out of town for 5 days. The easiest and kindest thing was to bring her here. However, no one is happy about this situation, Cocoa included. That’s a bit scary, as Cocoa is a big girl with all of her claws. She has a fearsome growl too.

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Détente?

It took a day and a half, but Cocoa is now purring as well as growling when the human walks in the room. <<Conflicted?>> She doesn’t know her humans family is away. She’s just mad at THIS human for catnapping her from her home and bringing her to a strange place where she knows…where she can hear and smell…there are other cats.

In the meantime, the attempts at jail breaks by the other 5 seem to have slowed down and they are being remarkably well behaved, all things considered. That should probably be worrying…

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What has the Human Done?

<<There is another cat in the house…we can hear it and we can smell it, but we can’t see it. Why not? Because we have been jailed by our captor in the big bedroom…all of us. What in the world has that crazy human done now?>>

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Evil Struck Twice Yesterday

Just when you think it’s safe to trust your human, she pulls something like this. First, with the promise of a snack, she lured the Merkitty into the downstairs bath, then quickly shut the door, trapping the panicked watery one. Next, the human picked her up and started trimming toenails quickly and efficiently, despite sad little whimpers from Mac. The human made such good progress on the forepaws that she actually trimmed the rear ones as well.  Despite repeated attempts, the human was unable to trick Caesar in a similar way, so his meeting with the clippers occurred later in the day in a totally different room and setting. After a little post-work snuggle, the tricksy human got up, slipped clippers into her pocket and disappeared into another room where she sat and waited for the meows to come in and bump her leg. When the Big Guy appeared and snuggled the human, she picked him up (<<Horrors!>>) and carried him (<<Double horrors!>>) back into the bedroom where she proceeded to clip claws (<<Triple horrors!>>) . She got all toes but one dewclaw on the front paws and then, emboldened, she managed to get 2 claws clipped on one rear paw before Caesar had had enough and really started putting up a struggle. While Mac forgave the human fairly quickly and was back draping herself around the human’s head (<<and hogging most of the pillows>>) before long, Caesar has kept his distance and will not let the human get close. It will be weeks before a human in motion will be able to get close to the Big Guy and even longer before he will let down his guard enough to be picked up again. Still, no blood was drawn among cats or human, and now two of the monsters are set for a couple of months before the process has to be repeated. <<Whew!>> <<Does no one care how much we suffer?>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Peculiar Things

Corky and Mac have a peculiar hang up involving the crunchy bowl.  They absolutely throw a hissy fit if, as they’re eating their way down through the contents of the bowl, they see a small space open up at the bottom of the container. Even though there are plenty of crunchies still in the bowl, it’s as though once they spy the bottom of the dish, that must mean the dish is empty.  This usually happens in the middle of the night when the silly 2-legged is trying to sleep. Corky yowls and starts beating up the curtains in front of the sliding doors and Mac does a variety of things ranging from scratching furniture to unplugging devices from the electrical receptacles. And both of the little darlings throw water all over the floor. <<You can see some in the upper right corner above.>>  The exhausted human wakes up, gets out of bed, looks at the crunchy bowl, points to all the crunchies that are still in there, and goes back to sleep. This goes on for several rounds a night until either the human gives in and refills the bowl or the cats give in and go to sleep. Well, last night, a very exciting thing happened. Apparently, they tried hard to wake the human, but she just kept rolling over and hiding under the covers. Apparently, in desperation, the cats actually ate almost all the crunchies out of the bowl. Now that’s progress!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

True Evil Stalks the Cats this Week

Well, the evil two-legged had a bit of time on her hands. While she was eating her lunch, Caesar and Mac came down for a visit and the Big C made the mistake of getting too close to the human, who scooped him up in her arms and headed into the bathroom where she shut the door, wrapped the struggling prisoner in a big towel, and pulled out the horrible nail clippers. <<Mind you, the terrible human has never once trimmed too high and hurt the kitties, but you’d think she was in the habit of regularly removing toes instead of a tiny bit of claw the way they fight the process.>> There were some mighty unpleasant sounds that ensued, but before too long, Caesar Tiger Bear emerged intact except for his front claws being a bit shorter. He only held a grudge for about 10 minutes before he was back whacking his body against the human’s leg. Earlier in the week the horrendous human managed to capture the Merkitty and trim her aquatic flipper claws. It took her about 6 hours to forgive the transgression.

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

Can’t I Just Sleep a Little Longer?

It was the morning after US Independence Day. In this neighborhood, the fireworks displays are truly impressive and on par with the work of professionals. They’re set off nightly from mid-June’s Flag Day through a week after the 4th of July.  And last night, they started in at 7 am and really got going around 8 pm, making a terrible ruckus well-past midnight. In fact, the concussions were so loud and so close that a wreath the human has had hanging on the bedroom wall for years actually fell down. The only thing Caesar is more afraid of than fireworks is thunderstorms and he endured both yesterday.  The poor kitty lay glued to the human’s side for hours, then went off and hid with the Little Red Bee. Needless to say, the Emperor was tired this morning and not in the mood to vacate the bed quite as soon as the human, who had to work.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2019, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Now Here’s Something You Don’t See Every Day!

Corky and Fireball have a tenuous relationship.  Corky spent years being subjugated by big (and bigger) brother Pepe before the two moved here.  He hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be picked on constantly for no other reason than just existing.  And, unfortunately, Fireball was the least-welcoming kitty when Corky and Pepe joined the household.  Therefore, it’s not surprising that when Corky is feeling frustrated, spunky, or frisky, he takes it out on Fireball, who — despite an early show of threat when Corky and Pepe were housed behind a door in another room — turns and runs, much to Corky’s delight.It’s not that Corky does much more than chase Fireball with an occasional threatening yowl. The Corkster has no front claws and the Baby Comet has a full set of sharp little claws…if only he’d threaten to use them once or twice and stop the bullying once and for all, but he doesn’t.  Since Corky often hassles Fireball, the two have a strained relationship and rarely are seen together in peaceable terms.  However, the other evening while the human read, Corky dozed nearby in one of the kitty beds. Fireball hopped up for a visit. After getting his obligatory round of pets and cuddles from the human, he shockingly stepped into the kitty bed with Corky and started mixing on the soft fleece blankets. Mind you, a second kitty bed was nearby and available but remained empty. They stayed in the bed together for about 15 minutes. Corky acted mildly miffed or concerned for a moment or so, then settled back and ignored the intruder, who, true to form, stayed for a short visit and then went bounding off to more interesting things.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Most Evil Cat Torture Device?

Which torture device do you think is most scary?  It’s a close call between the nail clippers and the vacuum.  However, the clippers only come out once a month and only three of the cats have front claws that need to be trimmed.  The vacuum, on the other hand, comes out multiple times a week and causes pandemonium among all the boy kitties.  Yes, you guessed it, Miss Mac is not afraid of the vacuum as long as she’s up high and it stays down on the floor and doesn’t come too near. She just smirks at it. The boys, on the other hand, run for the next floor whenever they even hear the cord rattle and long before the scary motor turns on.

By the way, bells didn’t even make the list this year. That’s got to be progress of a type.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. First photo from Fotolia.com. Other photos my own.

But Why?

Normally the dreaded vacuum is avoided at all costs. Yet here lay Caesar and Mac spooning next to the vacuum. There is plenty of other space on the rug, so you have to wonder why they chose to lay down there.  Cats!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Glow Cat

This is a perfect example of what the camera sees that the eye does not. When the human walked by and saw Caesar and Mac sitting in a small patch of sunlight, she thought it cute and grabbed the camera. Only after she took the photo did she realize that it looked like the Emperor Kitty was glowing.  As the human became aware of the effect, she walked closer and took more photos, which made the Big Guy a bit nervous. <<What’s she going to do — pet my paws?>Caesar Tiger Bear got off easy and only had to endure a few photos. Meanwhile, Mac was her usual nonplused self. Maybe this is more proof that cats are aliens sent here to spy on the lower-lifeform humans.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Mr. Sparkles

Corky and Pepe are each sporting new kitty collars.  The human keeps both boys in collars with bells so Fireball has a bit of warning that they’re after him.  The Trio, who still are somewhat afraid of tiny bells, opt out. The new break-away collars are extra sparkly and even sport a “diamond” at the clasp. Unfortunately, Corky’s jewel fell out the first week he wore it, so he’s a bit less sparkly than his big brother.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Tubes

A friend with a business that uses big rolls of fabric asked if the human thought the kitties might like a big cardboard tube to play inside. While Pepe and Corky like paper bags (but never plastic ones) and Mac will occasionally entertain herself in a cardboard box, none of the felines had shown any love for a cute crackly fabric tube the human had bought many years back. Still, why not give it a try, since the cardboard tube could always be recycled. Pepe stuck his head inside both ends but wouldn’t venture further.  Mac also stuck her head in but that was the end of it.

The rest of the cats couldn’t be induced to explore the tube even that much — despite the presence of freeze-dried meat snacks the human tossed in for fun.

Fortunately, while the kitties had no use for the big tube, the human found it was just perfect to hold a bunch of wrapping paper and smaller mailing tubes. Cats…

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Torture Device

What is the most fearsome cat-torture device on the planet?  Just look at the image above!Yes, it was that time of the month when the human had to trim toenails. Mac turned out to be easy this time, but Caesar made the human really work to accomplish her goal. Mind you, both cats have been getting snagged in all kinds of things owing to overly long nails. Nonetheless, the human is in the doghouse today for such heinous behavior.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Evil Human Hits the Meow

The human and the kitties have been having a fun activity first thing in the morning. Since their tiny tummies absolutely positively cannot wait the 7 minutes on average that it takes the human to select a can of soft food, open the can, spoon it out, mix in nutrients, add water, mix it up, and then spoon it out into multiple dishes that are then put on the floor, she has to give them a couple of raw freeze-dried meat snacks to tide them over until breakfast is served — it’s that or face lots of loud sassy commentary from the 4-leggeds who get under the human’s feet and try to get up on the counter to hurry the process along.At first, she just put a few treats in front of each cat, but what was the fun of that?  So to make things more interesting, and ensure everyone got a bit of fun and a bit of exercise, she started tossing the soft, crumbly little cubes around on the floor so the cats had to chase and capture the snack to eat it. Corky has really gotten into the action and barrels right over or through any cat that stands between the snack and his mouth.  A couple of weeks ago the human tossed around treats. They aren’t exactly aerodynamic shapes, so they don’t always land where the human expects and the cats hope they will land.  Unfortunately, she hit Fireball with one of the treats. Mind you, getting hit with one is like getting hit with small marshmallows. (They have to be tossed gently, not thrown with force or they could shatter all over the floor.) Nonetheless, that scared the Fraidy Cat who is so easily frightened by anything and everything. To make matters worse, the next time the game was played, the human tossed a snack over the top of Fireball and Caesar, who were eating their own treats. Of course, in his haste to get to the treat, Corky almost knocked Fireball over. Now the poor Baby Comet skips the treats game and either waits for the human to bring him special snacks in his little nest, or he visits the human in her office and hopes she’ll dispense treats there. <<Bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.