Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Tormenting the Human

Curtain Beater

Corky has developed the craziest way of acting out lately. When the human is reluctant to refill the food bowl, he ducks behind some curtains in front of a sliding-glass door, stands on his back legs, and then bats the curtains for all he’s worth while letting out a string of vocal complaints.  The camera hasn’t managed to catch him in the act yet, but it has caught him right after doing the dirty deed. Notice his tail is still under the fabric? Why would you suppose that beating up on some curtains would make the human do what you want?Does he look guilty to you? This acting out often does have the desired effect of encouraging the human to put a few more crunchies in the food bowl. Hence, there’s probably little hope that he’ll stop anytime soon.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Are You Paying Attention Yet?

Pepe likes to get on top of the human and lay very, very, very close to her face. Cat breath aside, when he’s that close, his spikey whiskers tickle her face. And then every few minutes he leans over and licks her neck or chin…or pokes some part of her face with a soft forepaw.  <<I guess you guys missed me after all.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Love is All You Need…

Mac needed cuddles.  She really, really, really needed the human to hold her…three times during work that day.  After all, the human snuck out and was gone for four days, so the Merkitty was entitled to some snuggles. Now that the 2-legged was back, the Girly Girl was going to make up for lost time.  <<Only a truly cruel human would turn away a small kitty who needed hugs!>>But the human was on deadline and needed both her hands to type.  Little Bird was not going to permit that so finally the human had to get mean and shut the door.  That didn’t deter the Smirky One, who threw her little body against the door, easily popping it open again. This time she didn’t wait at the foot of the chair for the human to notice her. No, she jumped right up onto the keyboard. <<There are many ways to get a human to pay attention to you but few are as effective as landing on the keyboard when the human is trying to use it. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Our Human is Home

<<It’s about time.  Can’t let her know we actually missed her. That would give her the upper hand. However, we did miss her and we’re glad she’s back. Never fear, we’ve been plotting our revenge all week. You can bet there will be some funny pictures and posts in the not-too-distant future…if we can get her to get back to blogging that is.>>

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos from Fotolia.com.

Bowl Patrol

It’s the afternoon. The human is cranking away on her keyboard and Bowl Patrol members are on duty.First, they visit the human in ones and twos to encourage her to take a break and give them a snack (or a full-blown meal).  If that doesn’t work, they intensify the pressure on the human by standing up and putting their paws on her desk or sinking their claws into her leg, scratching on items they know they shouldn’t, or jumping up and landing next to the keyboard.  The longer the human ignores them, the more intensely they act out. Finally, the silly human takes a break. There is great rejoicing right outside the office door. Of course, it’s important not to act smug like you think you’ve won the battle, so they quickly look away and participate in a bit of personal gratuitous grooming followed by a bit of community grooming.  It’s important to follow the human and make sure she is guided to the snack container or to the crunchy jar.  She often is distracted and completely forgets what you’ve worked hours to get her to do.  Such a silly human.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Little Red Bee Takes a Nap

Sometimes, when the human is really lucky, the Little Red Bee will make a visit to the bed and stay for an extended time.  He likes to put his back or rump against the human and then stretch out his shoulders and forepaws and sing a song. Of course, mixing (kneading) soon ensues. That’s when the human needs a lot of blanket between her skin and his nails, which are sharp like little scimitars. However, make a sudden move or a strange sound and the dozing kitty is gone faster than you can say Shazam!

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

She’s Taking a Short Vacation Out Back

<<The bad human and her computer were sent outside for a while. Hopefully, she’ll get back to blogging shortly. It’s kind of crowded out there and the internet connection is really iffy.>>

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Pepe & the Pen

If cats got diagnosed with ADHD, Pepe would be a leading candidate.  He needs constant attention and affection from the human. Even with that, he gets bored very easily and needs lots of entertainment or he’s off to get into trouble. The silly human, after caring for and feeding the cats and tackling critical morning chores, finally sits down for her own breakfast and to plan out her day. She has to eat or write with one hand and pet or entertain Pepe with the other, or he’s head-butting her arm, tapping her shoulder or chin with his paws, climbing into her lap, and generally being a brat.  He doesn’t seem to have the will for self-entertainment most days.  One of the best ways to keep him entertained for a couple of minutes is to give him a pen.  Mind you, the human clamps the cap down very tightly before giving the pen to him. Fortunately, he’s never managed to get a cap off the pen. In truth, he doesn’t hang onto them for very long.
He starts by tossing and spinning them around for a bit.   Next, he stands up and cuffs them around the seat of his chair. Not surprisingly, the pens quickly find their way to the floor where he stares at them for a moment, then returns to his position and ask for another one. Jumping down from the chair and expending all that energy to chase a pen around the floor is just too much to ask of the Pepster most mornings. It’s nothing for him to go through one, then two, and finally three pens until the human has none to write with unless she picks them up off the floor. He’s such a Pepster!

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Dangerously Close to being Sent Back to the Dog House

<<Bad human! She’s forgotten that we’re more important than work and hasn’t posted in over a week. We’re giving her one more chance before we send her out to the dog house.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos from Fotolia.com

Tight Sheets

 

In this house, some kitties really take their responsibilities very seriously. For instance, Pepe is very determined to make sure the human does a good job stripping and then remaking the bed. If the Pepster thinks the human has made any errors, he quickly lets her know. One way he tells is by leaping and sliding across the bed and then attacking the sheets. If there is a pile of wrinkles where he lands, then the sheets weren’t pulled tightly enough.  Another favorite technique is to roll back and forth over the fabric and see what happens.  <<It’s unfortunate that the human isn’t more focused on quality control herself because a poorly-made bed can lead to bedsores. However, what can you really expect from a 2-legged?>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.