Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Tormenting the Human

In the Dog House

<<The reason you haven’t heard from the kitties for half a month is not the fault of the kitties. We’ve been cute, we’ve been funny, we’ve been photogenic, and we’ve been clever. The fault is the bad human, who has let work come before play. She promises to get back with the program soon.  For now, she’s in the dog house. We’ll let her out when she starts posting again! ~~ Love, the Penta Pack>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Surprise!

The human was minding her own business having lunch and taking notes. All of a sudden, her foot nudged the chair next to her’s and out popped the Pepster, who had been sleeping on the chair hidden by the fall of the tablecloth.  The nudge scared the Pepster and his popping out from under the tablecloth scared the human. That made them even.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Sheet Tester

The human tried to make the bed. The cat had to test out the sheets. <<Yes, they have about the right level of tension. No wrinkles here.>> Next, the blankets were up for inspection. <<All the layers are pulled up to the top of the bed, although they are folded very poorly.>> The human received so-so marks at bedmaking.  The cat will counsel her again tomorrow. <<Only through practice and coaching can you hope to improve!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What Do You Mean 11:30 am is Too Early for “Dinner?”

The Sass Patrol was out in force the other day. <<I want crunchies! Mind me, human, or pay the consequences.>> Yes, they started in at 11:30 in the morning wanting their dinner.  Mind you, their breakfast was still upstairs uneaten.  It’s amazing how every day they manage to push the clock back a bit further. The human used to make it to 4:30 pm before they’d show up in her office demanding snacks. Then it was 4:00, then 3:00, then 2:00, then 12:30.  You see where this is going, don’t you? The wimpy human has taken to barricading herself in her office when she’s on deadline. Of course, when the tiny cats toss their bodies against the old door in this old house, the door usually opens and in comes the sass patrol demanding obesience. <<Bad, bad human! You are so hard to train.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Bedmaking QC

The human changed the sheets.  This, of course, meant it was time to help the human make the bed — and ensure she did the job right!
First, Caesar got involved.  He held down the sheets so the human could get a tight pull to ensure there were no wrinkles. He’s really generous that way.  Next, Pepe got into the action.  He explored the various layers of blankets to make sure all layers were pulled up to the top of the bed. Wouldn’t want any wrinkles there either.  The quality control (QC) experts were hard at work. <<Such a lucky human!>> 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Little Red Bee Visits the Office

Surely, the human can stop working long enough to give him some pets and some snacks? Who could resist that little face?

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Cat vs. Zipper Pull

This is Mac — up close and personal. She is about to attack the zipper pull on the human’s pullover.First the cuffy paw was applied, but the zipper pull didn’t move much.Next little teeth were applied. The zipper pull moved.  <<Success!>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pepe and the Feather

Keeping Pepe entertained at breakfast is no small task — especially when the 2-legged is trying to get her own breakfast cooked and eaten, and her schedule planned.This is the time of day when the Pepster seems incapable of entertaining himself, so the human has to do it for him. On this particular day, we’d tried all our usual toys and none were up to snuff. The human even dragged out the dreaded feather wand and swished it around. Mr. Pickles chased it a bit, then lay down and ignored the toy and whined at the human. Fortunately (or not) a feather fell out of the wand and the human couldn’t put it back in so it got turned into a toy. For reasons only Pepe knows, the feather was a hit and he batted it around and chased it along the floor. Of course, let us be clear that just because Pepe played with the feather that day, doesn’t mean he’ll ever even look at it again.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.