Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Tormenting the Human

From Cranky to Sweet

Corky has been mighty cranky for the past many weeks. He had a flare up of painful crystals in his bladder in late October that led to a vet visit.  (A 45 minute session cost $500 USD. Then vets wonder why we don’t make those 2-3x/year wellness visits for each cat like they recommend.) After a round of antibiotics (which he didn’t need, since he had no infection) and a few days of oral pain killer (which was as painful for the human to give him as it was for Corky to receive, since he fights meds like no cat the human remembers), his symptoms abated. Still, he was a mighty cranky little kitty and was especially mean to poor Fireball. He even harassed Miss Mac. (Apparently he hasn’t been keeping up on all the celebrities and politicians who are in serious trouble due to sexual harassment issues.) He had another flare up just before Thanksgiving. Fortunately, the human had some pain meds left from the last vet vsit, which got the household through the holiday lest a visit to the emergency vet be needed. (That would have been $1300 at least.) Doubly fortunately, Corky’s vet wrote another prescription for pain meds, which the human picked up the day after Thanksgiving. And the human went back to ensuring all the kitties’ food — canned, raw freeze dried, and crunchies — were well soaked in water before the felines were given it.  Now that Cranky Corky is properly hydrated and his bladder crystals have passed, he’s back to being a sweet little kitty again. The human has even spied him sleeping next to Fireball on the bed at night. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

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White Mousy goes Dumpster Diving

The toy mice have been having great parties at night this week.  The human is greatly entertained with the places she finds them when she picks up each morning. Pink mousy showed up beside the smaller crunchy bowl upstairs, while orange mousy was close to climbing into the medium-sized litter box. Back into the toy box they go, only to reemerge for new adventures the next night. The other morning, white mousy went for a dive in one of the food bowls. The cats had nothing good to say about that meal offering, so hopefully at least someone enjoyed the food. Unfortunately, after sitting in a bowl of soppy soft food all night, white mousy is looking a bit worse for wear — even after a bath. Time for the human to clean out the three kitty toy boxes and see what else might need to be recycled.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Of Course they Didn’t Like it!

Silly human. She brought home two new poofy cat beds for the meows the other night and gleefully presented her gifts to the Feline Fraternity. Sure enough, they showed up and sniffed the new additions over. However, no one could be coaxed into getting inside or even looking inside either ultrasoft kitty bed. To add insult to injury, the human also found some new bowls for their kitty feeding station upstairs. The ceramic was wrapped in crackly paper to protect it as it left the store. The human put the crackly paper down on the floor and several of the cats had a great time burrowing under the sheets.  Meanwhile, the new cat beds got ignored. Cats! Can’t live with them; can’t live without them.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pattern Change

The Splashasaurus Merkitty has changed her water-flinging pattern.  Instead of the water only going to the right of the bowl, a new pattern has emerged where the water has been tossed to the left as well, albeit not as much.The human wonders what this means…probably that the little Minx is now using both her left as well as her right paws.  Leave it to the Merkitty to continually mix things up.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Mystery Muddy Footprints

It’s been brutally cold of late. We had snow flurries on Halloween and last week  it dipped below freezing for the first time in half a year.  The human had to haul the houseplants in from the great outdoors a couple of weeks back, including the big ficus tree. For a while she had the large pot (and its plentiful supply of soft fresh soil) barricaded with some containers to keep little kitty feet out.  However, one of the barricades had to be moved and the repositioned items clearly did not dissuade kitty visitors.The human came downstairs the next morning only to see a whole path of dirty, muddy footprints coming out of the pot and moving across a runner on the (unused) woodstove. (They’re subtle, but clearly visible in both photos above).  While she cannot prove it, the human suspects the Merkitty made a nocturnal visit. The human has redoubled her efforts to build an effective barricade, and so far that seems to be working. Give her time and the Merkitty will find a way back into the pot just because she’s not supposed to be there.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Return of the Merkitty

Well, the human recently made the mistake — several times in fact — of mentioning that Macaroni must have finally grown up, as there had been no Merkitty Puddles left in the house for at least 6 months.

The little She-Monster must have heard, as we’ve had floods every day this week on two floors of the house.  As you can see from the splash pattern, she only seems to throw water in one direction.  Such a Merkitty!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Corky & Pepe Let Down their Guard

The human took the stack of rolling balls upstairs and put it beside the other scratching disc in the hopes of getting the kitties to play with it.
A couple of times different cats went and played with the old toy, but the new one got completely ignored. To encourage interaction with the toy, the human kept bending down and spinning the balls on the new toy either fast or slow for the kitties to see.  They looked at her blankly.  A couple of times she even spun balls on both the new and old toys at the same time. They were not impressed…nor were they going to show any interest in the new toy. Mostly they looked bored.A few days later, first Corky and then Pepe decided to play with the new toy.  They clearly slipped up because not only did the human witness them playing with the toy (and each other), but she recorded the experience on her camera.Could that possibly mean they were having so much fun, they didn’t notice the human or even care if she saw them?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

New Toy Gets an Inspection

The human found the cutest toy on sale at a store. It’s a stack of 3 plastic rings that each holds 1 plastic ball that rolls around in a track on its level. It’s similar to the scratching disc with the one track on the side that holds a single ball. Given how much fun the cats eventually had with the scratching disc/track ball, the human figured the felines would absolutely love this toy. Boy was she in for a disappointment!The human proudly presented the toy to the meows.  First Pepe approached it and gave it a few sniffs.  He almost seemed a tad puzzled with it at first. Soon enough that little cuffy paw came up and started investigating. <<I wonder if there are secret eyes on the bottom of kitty paws?>> Pepe walked away.Corky showed up next and gave it a sniff. He didn’t seem very impressed. Of course, as soon as Corky showed up and started checking out the toy, his brother had to come back and claim it. Corky walked away.Next up, Caesar arrived. A quick sniff identified the item as not food. Since it wasn’t doing anything, he deemed it less than entertaining and just sat down to watch. In came Fireball and he too gave it a sniff. It goes without saying that no one seemed very excited. <<Showing the human she’d done something good breaks some unwritten kitty rule about how to properly train a human. Keep the 2-legged humble by rejecting nearly everything she gives you and that will guarantee the human will keep on trying.>>Cue the Merkitty, who also gave it a sniff while Caesar started grooming Fireball as he washed his side.  <<Ho hum, human.>>A quick circle around the toy and the Merkitty flopped on her side and lay there. <<You paid $6 for that? What a waste of money!>> The other cats started to disperse.Corky gave it one last sniff while the Merkitty did head rolls. <<Bah humbug!>>There’s a bar on the new toy that goes across the top to make it easier to carry, and you can look down to the floor below. Given the dismal reception the toy received, and to encourage further kitty interest, the human tucked some treats down inside.  When she came downstairs the next day, the stack had been moved way across the floor and there was only a single treat left inside, so someone had fun with it.  Of course, since the human couldn’t see the cats having fun, it was okay for them to go ahead and enjoy the toy…just don’t let the human see that happening!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Face Dirty with Electrons

The human was cranking away at the keyboard when Pepe showed up in the office the other day and promptly jumped up behind her on the chair. (She is well trained and obligingly bends forward so he can sit on the pillow between the chair back and her back, which turns out to be delightful as the warm, soft, purring cat nestles against her lower back.)  Before the human realized what was going on, Pepe had jumped from the pillow to the top of the chair back and was soon balancing half his 18-pound/8.2-kilogram body weight onto one of her shoulders.  He leaned fairly far forward, then turned his head and started washing the human’s face on that side.  Next he changed position and moved to the other shoulder, stretched forward, and washed the human’s face on that side too. It’s amazing how dirty the human gets typing on the computer all day. Must be all the electrons collecting on her face.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Chilly Sillies

No, the kitties have not gone on holiday and the human hasn’t either. The lazy 2-legged has just been very busy and has not made time to chronicle the adventures of the 4 leggeds. However, it’s been unseasonably cool for August and there have been some notable antics of late.  The human calls these the “chilly sillies” since we’re not quite in snow-silly season, and it’s definitely the cool weather that seems to be driving the humorous exploits.  (When it’s hot and humid, they just lay around in little piles on the floor and look miserable — much like the human who flops on furniture a few feet higher off the ground.)  Here are some of their recent adventures.

  • Macaroni is back to making her Merkitty messes, leaving big water puddles around the water bowls.  She also uncharacteristically has started chasing the red dot from the laser pointer around on the floor. Usually she’s w-a-y too sophisticated to stoop to such silliness. Additionally, she’s back to curling herself around the human’s head early in the morning and washing the 2-legged’s face while using her cute paws to pat the human on the face. (If only she’d fully retract those darned claws, the process would be quite relaxing. As it is, the human has to keep eyes open and face pulled back a bit to avoid getting hooked.)
  • Fireball is a master of “hit and run.”  He bounces up on the bed, squeaks, and lands on the human. Then he comes over and settles down sphinx style very close to the human’s face and looks at her. Or, he turns and faces the other direction leaving a bum in close proximity to the human’s face, which meanwhile is getting swished with a striped orange tail.  He stays about 90 seconds and then squeaks and runs off to something more interesting than a human…unless he thinks he can get her to give him some kitty toothpaste, which he just loves the taste of and will eat 10x a day if the human would let him.
  • Corky has been getting lots of exercise upstairs both morning and evening chasing the laser dot.  He also spontaneously chases balls around the tracks of two toys upstairs at all hours of the night. He’s very vocal at any hour and lets the human know what he thinks about the empty crunchy bowls at 2 am, at 4 am, and at 6 am. Then he keeps up a steady chatter trying to encourage the dawdling and half-asleep human to hurry up and put breakfast on downstairs. Unfortunately, Corky’s also been chasing poor Fireball, and Pepe is chasing both Corky and Fireball.  Anything that moves is fair game.
  • Pepe has been such a brat to Fireball that the human put him in a collar with a jingly bell. He thinks he’s hot stuff because he’s the only 4-legged with a collar and a bell, and the collar is quite sparkly.  He was so jazzed up this morning that he even chased the human, who then had to try not to step on the rapidly approaching creature.  In between, Pepe kept entertained by running from one bedroom to the other, jumping on the bed, spinning in circles, and then jumping off and running to the other room.
  • Even Caesar Beaser has been silly of late.  He bounces up onto the bed and runs over to get pets from the human. When he’s done being cooed over, he stomps across the top of the human’s pillow and flops down beside her and begins dangling paws and tail until Fireball or Mac decide to join him in the kitty bed. At that point he jumps down and seeks solitude elsewhere.

Looking in their eyes, you almost can see the wheels turning:  What can we do to mess with the human today?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.