Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Humor

Brat-a-Saurus Messes with the Silly Human

Of late, Cranky Corky (aka Brat-a-Saurus) has had a great game going with the human. He starts in anywhere from midnight on and wails plaintively about the lack of fresh crunchies in the food bowl. (No worries, he’s not sick, he just hates being on a diet.)  Never mind that there is soft food sitting in one bowl and crunchies that are now puffed up from absorbing water sitting in a second bowl right next to him. No, he wants fresh crunchies and he wants them now! If the human doesn’t respond, he literally jumps in bed and stomps on her body, then he pounces on Mac and bites her neck or he chases poor Fireball off the bed and all the way downstairs.  In short, Cranky Corky is a royal pain in the back side and a complete brat.  Only when the human gets up and dispenses a small amount of fresh crunchies does peace and quiet return — for a few hours at least. Unfortunately, the more the human acquiesces, the more frequently the Angry Ankylosaurus pulls this stunt. The other option is to lock the Crankster in the other bedroom, although then everyone has to listen to him whine and complain for several hours before he settles down.  Anyone interested in adopting cute, middle-aged male cat with grey & white tuxedo markings? I might know one who needs a new home.  (Said by a human operating on weeks of little sleep.)

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Goofy Girl & the Spin Cycle

We’ve once again had crazy ups and downs in temperature here and the last three nights we got snow — not a huge amount, but enough that the kitties got snow sillies out of it.Case in point: the Goofy Girl got all sillied up.  First she got into one of the kitty beds and started kicking around an adorable little felted toy.  Next she spun in circles chasing it around on her paws. You’d think she was in the spin cycle of a washing machine.Then she flipped upside down and gave it backfoot furnippies. And while she was kicking and biting the toy, she looked back and reached a fore paw over and bopped poor Fireball on the head. He was sitting in an adjacent kitty bed watching her antics.  She alternated kicking the toy and harassing her brother until she tired of her silliness and got up. Next she chased Fireball out of his bed, then she got into a flurry of fistacuffs with Big Caesar. Then she flew off the bed and went looking for a toy mouse to chase up and down the stairs. We could hear her making that funny moaning sound the kitties make when they’re carrying around a big “kill” (toy mouse) they’ve just vanquished. All of a sudden, Goofy Girl came flying through the air again and landed back in bed and began bothering Caesar and Fireball again, who’d returned to their soft warm beds when the little minx vanished. On and on they went for hours last night.  Of course, as soon as the human brought out the evil camera and started taking shots, Macadoodle got embarrassed she’d been caught being silly and began some gratuitous grooming. Mustn’t let humans see you being other than dignified….

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Give me Attention or Suffer the Consequences!

This is the once petite and sweet Juniper, who owns the human’s niece.  Said niece had been very busy with work and life and had left Princess Fluffernutter home alone a lot lately.  When that 2-legged did return home — with mail in tow — and found a magazine she wanted to read, she tossed it on the couch intending to curl up and read it.  However, the Princess wasn’t going to be ignored any longer. She hopped up and defiantly laid herself across the magazine so it was now inaccessible to the human — at least without expending some effort.

What’s the moral to this story? Ignore a cat at your peril!

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo by M. Ray.

Why are You Bothering Me?

Needless to say, the human didn’t have a good answer…or at least one that was acceptable to Miss Mu.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What is that Lump?

The other morning, the human spied a lump under the furry blanket on the bed.  Notice the tail tip sticking out? Now who could that be?Ah, wouldn’t you know it’s Pepe!

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Finally, a New Cat Bed Gets a Lodger

Remember the two new kitty beds the human dragged home after Thanksgiving? Well, it would be an understatement to say they have not gotten a lot of love. Despite their incredibly plush interior and the opportunities each offers for a kitty person to hide in plain sight, they have had little use as proper beds.  (The human got them on clearance, so therein may lie the problem.)Pepe does love to attack the pompoms on the blue one that looks like a jewelry pouch. In fact, he batted the decorations so hard that he split the thread holding one of the poms together, then had a grand time chasing the fibrous ball of fluff that had been inside. (It’s since been lost, so no go on the human fixing it unless she wants to buy a big bag of fiberfill just to fix a single pompom.)However, the triangular/teepee-shaped bed finally got a visitor. The human spied the inhabitant, flipped on the light, and edged ever closer with the camera, much to the annoyance of the feline in question. It’s behavior like this that earns the human scowls!

Happy New Year, one and all. Thanks for following the antics of the meows over the last 12 months.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Rolling Out the Feathers

The silly human found a down comforter she’d put away and forgotten about. She pulled it out, fluffed it up, and added it to the bed.  Of course, Pepe had to come along and make sure that the feathers were properly aligned and not too fluffy. It’s a good thing someone’s watching out for the 2-legged. Clearly, she can’t figure out these things on her own.

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Crazy Kitties

Let’s be honest. Cats hate change even more than humans do. And when they have a lot of change in their environment over a short period of time, it can sometimes lead to interesting forms of acting out.  So the human brought this on herself.  She decided to flip the furniture in her bedroom on Thanksgiving Day. What had been on the west wall is now on the east, and vice versa.  Of course, while this was all going on, the evil vacuum cleaner was busy sucking up all kinds of things, so the cats stayed far away. Later, after the noise quieted down, things were put to right, and the far-infrared mattress pad was turned back on on the freshly made bed, the cats appeared and began to check things out.  Talk about curious!  One after another they jumped up on the bed, sniffed and looked around, then jumped down only to jump up on a different piece of furniture to explore. Clearly they were quite at a loss as to why the human would do such a radical thing without asking their permission. To further intensify things, the human had washed a bunch of their fleece blankets and hung them out to dry, then brought them inside (smelling of the great outdoors) and put them back in their kitty beds. They love it when they have clean, fresh-smelling blankets!  That evening, there were some mighty interesting and noisy goings on in the house. Fireball ran around chirping loudly and even tried shredding the mattress foundation under the human’s head.  Caesar alternated whacking the ball around on the scratching disc and chasing other cats around playing tag.  Mac tried out 3 different kitty beds in their new locations much like Goldilocks visiting the three bears.  And Pepe and Corky chased each other quite loudly. It was a regular circus that went on until about 2 am. Fortunately, the cats have settled down now and seem to enjoy the slightly modified sleeping arrangements. Still, what was the human doing making a change like that without asking?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Of Course they Didn’t Like it!

Silly human. She brought home two new poofy cat beds for the meows the other night and gleefully presented her gifts to the Feline Fraternity. Sure enough, they showed up and sniffed the new additions over. However, no one could be coaxed into getting inside or even looking inside either ultrasoft kitty bed. To add insult to injury, the human also found some new bowls for their kitty feeding station upstairs. The ceramic was wrapped in crackly paper to protect it as it left the store. The human put the crackly paper down on the floor and several of the cats had a great time burrowing under the sheets.  Meanwhile, the new cat beds got ignored. Cats! Can’t live with them; can’t live without them.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pattern Change

The Splashasaurus Merkitty has changed her water-flinging pattern.  Instead of the water only going to the right of the bowl, a new pattern has emerged where the water has been tossed to the left as well, albeit not as much.The human wonders what this means…probably that the little Minx is now using both her left as well as her right paws.  Leave it to the Merkitty to continually mix things up.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.