Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Humor

THIS is NOT Kitty Grass!

For weeks, the human’s favorite grocery store had tons of pots of organic wheat grass, so she stopped buying two pots at a time to ensure the kitties had their grass. Now that the weather has turned hot and the indoor plants are back outside for the summer and fall <<Hallelujah!>>, there are no spider plant babies on which to nibble. That means the kitties are alternately grumpy and trying to gnaw on the pathetic-looking kitty grass that’s left — and it’s not looking very good, let me tell you.Last evening the human made her second trip in two days to that store and came home empty handed (as far as kitty grass is concerned).  However, she did find a dandy pot of rosemary for a very good price and picked it up. When the kitties sauntered out to the kitchen to see what the 2-legged was up to and saw her holding a green plant, they got excited and ran over. She set the pot of rosemary down in front of them and all 5 came over and gave it a sniff. Two immediately departed with a disgusted look. <<That’s NOT kitty grass, idiot human. We thought you were a master gardener. Can’t you tell rosemary and wheat grass apart?>> The other 3 were a tad more interested or forgiving and spent more time checking out the greenery. In the end, they all concluded this was not acceptable table fare and walked away. The human will make another visit today, as otherwise punishment of some sort cannot be far away.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What have we here?

The human was picking up the other morning and noticed that something was sticking out of the track on the side of the upstairs scratching disc. Upon closer inspection, it became obvious that one of the cats had pushed a relatively new catnip-stuffed toy, which hadn’t seen much action, into the track. (Those are Corky’s cute toes in both photos, by the way.)Now why do you suppose they did that? It actually must have taken some work to stuff the toy into the track. And why? They love chasing the ball around the track.  Cats…they truly are such mysteries.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Meditating with Pepe

The human sets her alarm to go off early in the morning. That gives her time to wake up, catch up on email and news, and then meditate for 30-40 minutes before she has to get up and attend to morning duties. It’s a nice way to start the day.However, some mornings Pepe has other ideas. First he climbs up the human and alternately licks her chin and touches her face with his paws. <<Focus on the breath, focus on the breath…>>If that doesn’t catch her attention, then he begins digging vigorously on the blankets she’s wrapped in searching for….what? This is Pepe in full brat mode.If she manages not to laugh and break her focus, he then hops off her and starts burrowing like a mole under the blankets by her side.  If she wiggles her fingers while trying to remove a hand to pet him, he pounces for all he’s worth and attacks the menace under the blankets.  By then, the human has wisely concluded that meditation is over for the day.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Waking up the Lazy Human

The lazy human plays snooze alarm way too many mornings!  She grabs her alarm clock and puts it under her blankets or pillow, then curls up and goes back to sleep.  When the alarm continues to go off, she just keeps hitting that annoying button.  Fear not, for we’ve found a way to make her get up and stay up.  It’s well worth the effort to wake her as not only does that get us food and fresh water, but it gets our litter boxes cleaned as well. We even take turns and split up the duties.If the human is laying on her back, then Mac saunters over, sits on her chest and rolls around making sure to dig her nails into every surface possible.  Her sharp claws can penetrate through 4 layers of blankets. If that doesn’t work, then Pepe leaps and lands on her bladder with his 18 pounds. <<OOOFFFF!>> If she anticipates his arrival by tenting her knees, he scales her limbs and hangs off or he climbs onto her chest and sticks his furry face and whiskers really close to her face.  Caesar shortly arrives and head bumps her arm and shoulder.  Sometimes he licks her hands because he knows it tickles. (That’s his revenge for all the times she touches is paws!)If the human is laying on her side curled up in a pathetic little ball, then Corky or Pepe hops onto her hip and stretches out on her until her leg cramps.  Meantime, Mac attacks her on her pillow by wrapping her furry tummy around the human’s head and face. It’s important to bury the human’s nose and mouth in cat fur, as that usually gets her sniffling and sneezing. Imagine, she’s allergic to us!  Sometimes Fireball balances on her shoulder while all this is going on or brings her a toy mouse. And Caesar does the arm-licking thing on any exposed skin.  Mornings are so much fun in this house!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

My Toy, M-I-N-E !

Is there any doubt who is going to get to enjoy the scratching disc this morning?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pepe’s Best Turtle Impression

And here we have Pepe doing his best upside-down turtle impression…or maybe he’s pretending to be an otter enjoying snacks after adventures on the river.No, he really lays that way, at least until the human walks around him and then he begs for pets. He’s a unique individual for sure!  And, yes, his belly really is so soft. However, if you’re foolish enough to stick a hand or a face on that soft spot, be prepared to feel his teeth and claws!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Snuggles with Mac – Part 1

Here are Mac and Caesar snuggling.  Caesar looks like he’s completely zonked. Not so, the Merkitty, who is smirking as though she was up to something. (Just sayin’…)The Big Guy has one of his big paws wrapped around his little friend.  (They really are big paws!)During the time it took the silly human to walk around the recumbent pair and shoot a couple of photos, Mac extended both front paws and went for a bit of a dangle. Caesar snoozes on oblivious, but we’re betting the Merkitty is planning mischief.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Hide Your Feet, She’s Coming!

<<The human is sneaking up on me. Fortunately, even tip toeing, she sounds like a herd of elephants, so I’m on to her.>><<Blast it! She’s got that stupid camera that half blinds me.>><<Fortunately, since I heard her coming, I pulled my feet back inside my nest. She’ll really have to dig to find them now….although that doesn’t always stop her.>><<My vigilance paid off. She left my feet alone, although she did make those silly cooing noises and shot more photos. The things I have to endure to get 2 square meals a day and a warm bed.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

 

Orange Mousy Gets a New Friend

A day after the orange felt mouse ended up sitting beside one of the litter boxes, he or she got a new friend. Lest you think the silly human never picks up the cat toys, she does, but she was conducting an experiment. She wondered how long orange mousy would sit there before one of the cats retrieved him/her.  After the second toy arrived, she picked both up, her experiment terminated early in case even more toys were deposited there. So far, no new toys have appeared beside any of the litter boxes. (Whew!)

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Front/Back Double-Paw Dangle Variation

As demonstrated by a very sleepy Caesar Tiger Bear……such a sleepy bear that he didn’t pull his paws back in upon approach of the evil human…who happened to be on her best behavior at that moment!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.