Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Humor

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Tuxedos Meet New Kitty Carrier

The human found a nice soft-sided kitty carrier the other day.  She brought it home and decided to open up both ends so the kitties could explore.  As luck would have it, the two tuxedos were in the kitchen at the time and they decided to check it out. First Pepe stuck his head into each end and had a sniff.  He actually followed some pen caps he and Mac had been chasing to the edge of the carrier and cuffed them around.  Next Mac went in the proper “door” and walked through the carrier and out the “window.”  For some reason, that got Pepe all jazzed up.  He returned to the carrier and looked out the window. Meanwhile, Mac was checking out the side pocket and a second larger “window.” He wisely understood that squeezing out the “window” would be a tight fit. (So much for this being a “big” carrier.) He backed out and hunkered down beside the carrier and peered at Mac, who was gazing off without interest.  Next, he prepared to pounce on her, but she was having none of this and got up and moved. This jockeying for attention went on for about 10 minutes.  Then all the cats disappeared and the human was left to pick everything up. Such is the entertainment found in this house most mornings.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Tubes

A friend with a business that uses big rolls of fabric asked if the human thought the kitties might like a big cardboard tube to play inside. While Pepe and Corky like paper bags (but never plastic ones) and Mac will occasionally entertain herself in a cardboard box, none of the felines had shown any love for a cute crackly fabric tube the human had bought many years back. Still, why not give it a try, since the cardboard tube could always be recycled. Pepe stuck his head inside both ends but wouldn’t venture further.  Mac also stuck her head in but that was the end of it.

The rest of the cats couldn’t be induced to explore the tube even that much — despite the presence of freeze-dried meat snacks the human tossed in for fun.

Fortunately, while the kitties had no use for the big tube, the human found it was just perfect to hold a bunch of wrapping paper and smaller mailing tubes. Cats…

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

What Do You Mean 11:30 am is Too Early for “Dinner?”

The Sass Patrol was out in force the other day. <<I want crunchies! Mind me, human, or pay the consequences.>> Yes, they started in at 11:30 in the morning wanting their dinner.  Mind you, their breakfast was still upstairs uneaten.  It’s amazing how every day they manage to push the clock back a bit further. The human used to make it to 4:30 pm before they’d show up in her office demanding snacks. Then it was 4:00, then 3:00, then 2:00, then 12:30.  You see where this is going, don’t you? The wimpy human has taken to barricading herself in her office when she’s on deadline. Of course, when the tiny cats toss their bodies against the old door in this old house, the door usually opens and in comes the sass patrol demanding obesience. <<Bad, bad human! You are so hard to train.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Score!

The silly human washed a dishpan she uses to soak her orchids each week in the dishwasher. When the load was done and the machine unloaded, the pan was still a bit damp, so she set it on its side against the cupboards. While she was around the corner working, one of the kitties found a crackly Mylar ball and knocked it into the dishpan just like a champion soccer player would knock a ball into a goal.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Bedmaking QC

The human changed the sheets.  This, of course, meant it was time to help the human make the bed — and ensure she did the job right!
First, Caesar got involved.  He held down the sheets so the human could get a tight pull to ensure there were no wrinkles. He’s really generous that way.  Next, Pepe got into the action.  He explored the various layers of blankets to make sure all layers were pulled up to the top of the bed. Wouldn’t want any wrinkles there either.  The quality control (QC) experts were hard at work. <<Such a lucky human!>> 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Don’t Look at Me Like That!

It’s hard to figure out what Pepe is thinking here.  It is an interesting position he’s put himself in and not one he often takes.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Evil Human Hits the Meow

The human and the kitties have been having a fun activity first thing in the morning. Since their tiny tummies absolutely positively cannot wait the 7 minutes on average that it takes the human to select a can of soft food, open the can, spoon it out, mix in nutrients, add water, mix it up, and then spoon it out into multiple dishes that are then put on the floor, she has to give them a couple of raw freeze-dried meat snacks to tide them over until breakfast is served — it’s that or face lots of loud sassy commentary from the 4-leggeds who get under the human’s feet and try to get up on the counter to hurry the process along.At first, she just put a few treats in front of each cat, but what was the fun of that?  So to make things more interesting, and ensure everyone got a bit of fun and a bit of exercise, she started tossing the soft, crumbly little cubes around on the floor so the cats had to chase and capture the snack to eat it. Corky has really gotten into the action and barrels right over or through any cat that stands between the snack and his mouth.  A couple of weeks ago the human tossed around treats. They aren’t exactly aerodynamic shapes, so they don’t always land where the human expects and the cats hope they will land.  Unfortunately, she hit Fireball with one of the treats. Mind you, getting hit with one is like getting hit with small marshmallows. (They have to be tossed gently, not thrown with force or they could shatter all over the floor.) Nonetheless, that scared the Fraidy Cat who is so easily frightened by anything and everything. To make matters worse, the next time the game was played, the human tossed a snack over the top of Fireball and Caesar, who were eating their own treats. Of course, in his haste to get to the treat, Corky almost knocked Fireball over. Now the poor Baby Comet skips the treats game and either waits for the human to bring him special snacks in his little nest, or he visits the human in her office and hopes she’ll dispense treats there. <<Bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Little Red Bee Visits the Office

Surely, the human can stop working long enough to give him some pets and some snacks? Who could resist that little face?

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Joys of Paper Bags

Corky and Pepe arrived here with a curious fear of the sound of a plastic bag being opened and shaken out. On the other hand, they also arrived with a complete love for paper bags — the smaller and cracklier they are, the better.Put a paper bag (or a strip of crackly packing paper) on the floor and you can count on one or both of them sticking first their heads and then as much of their bodies as will fit into the bag or under the paper. (It probably would not be kind to mention the tail and the back end of the cat that sticks out for all to see…)  Pepe is a big one to attack the inside back wall of the bag as if it was something interesting to chase. Once the novelty of the bag-cave has been explored and exhausted, they’ll flop on top of the bag and roll around on it. The more smunched the bag becomes, the more desirable it seems to be. Sometimes they’ll bring a toy mouse along for the ride, dropping it on top of the bag and then rolling around on both until the mouse gets pushed to the side.

What can one conclude from this odd feline behavior? If you pay for a toy, they’ll hardly ever even look at it, let alone play with it. However, if they think they’re stealing something from the human…well, that toy is worth its weight in catnip.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.