Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: What were they Thinking?

Caesar & the Scary Human

The human started to walk toward the Emperor Kitty, who was otherwise engaged in deep thoughts.

The Big Guy glanced nervously at the approaching human. <<<Does she have the nail clippers hiding in her hands?>>>

<<<Pretend to look away so she doesn’t think you’re watching her. Maybe she’ll just walk by.>>> And she did. No kitties were harmed, no nails were trimmed, no feet were illegally petted, only a couple of quick pics were shot and the 2-legged went on her way. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Fishy

The silly human came home from the pet-supply store the other evening practically cackling with delight. She’d found a new “educational” cat toy — or, rather, one that promised mental enrichment for the cats. It was a sizeable “fish” stuffed with fluff, catnip, and a USB-chargeable unit that causes the tail to flip back and forth. This creates the effect of a thrashing fish, as if it had suddenly found itself out of water. The fish effectively flips itself across the floor while also making a clicking sound. The 2-legged had to charge the unit before first use, so she removed the innards and plugged them in, then brought the rest of the fish upstairs for the cats to check out. Both Caesar and Pepe gave it a sniff, and several times that evening Pepe gave it a good thrashing.

It’s probably appropriate then that as soon as the human and cats came down for breakfast, and the human reassembled the toy and put it on the ground, Pepe came over to check it out.

He was soon joined by Caesar, who rushed over to see what was up with this strange creature that had found its way into their house. It turns out that the fish is touch-sensitive, so after thrashing around and clicking for about 90 seconds, it lays still (and goes silent) until someone touches it with a paw or nose or hand in the middle section — not at the tail or head where the Big Boys were sniffing. By now, Corky had joined the team investigating the interloper.

The human has been moving the fish around the house for the last few days. In the long run, it may fail to hold their attention, but at least for now whenever Caesar hears that particular clicking, he rushes into the room and starts sniffing the creature. This morning, the human found the Emperor laying beside the fish toy, as though on guard. And when he got up, the human found 5 toy mice sitting beside the fish. Did he think the fish was hungry? Or did he think the mice would teach the fish some manners? It’s times like this that the human really would love to know what her masters were thinking.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Waterwerks

The human found this mess when she arrived in the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the monsters a few weeks back. Not only was the rack with both water bowls tipped onto its side, spilling water everywhere, but the absorbant pad underneath was pulled out from under the rack and completely off the rubber boot tray.

This is clearly the work of the house’s resident water monster (and floor destroyer), Macaroni the Merkitty. <<<Heavy sigh…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Dereliction of Duty

<<<Clearly, even a human can see that the bottom is showing in this crunchy bowl.>>>

<<<You can’t possibly expect us to eat out of a bowl that’s almost empty. Why do you make us suffer so?>>>

<<<Really, you don’t plan to refill the bowl? We’ll starve!>>>

<<<Come on, there’s nothing worth eating here. Maybe we should advertise for a new human again?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What’s the Purpose of All This?

There he sat, facing the wall with his head turned away, as though pondering the meaning of the universe.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Are You REALLY Making Fun of My Face Again?

<<<That’s not even civil, let alone fair.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Meeting of the Minds

Caesar and Pepe were having a meeting of the minds. They were dividing up the territory and deciding who would govern each region. Of course, there was also the matter of the human, who needs constant supervision and frequent reinstruction. They concluded that task was too big a burden for any one cat to take on, even with all their superpowers, so they decided to share the responsibility.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why do You Always Blame Me?

<<<Just saying…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Yes, You Really Are Seeing What You Think You’re Seeing

If you think you see the Merkitty with her head in a watering can drinking water, then that is exactly what is happening. Mind you, there are several dishes filled with nice clean filtered water sitting not 10 feet away in the kitchen.

It makes you wonder what the Tiger Boys think of the Watery One’s latest antics.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What do You Mean by ‘Don’t Make that Face?’

<<<And what makes you think you have the right to say anything about me anyway?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Overturned Water Bowls

The human found this scene in the kitchen the other morning. Although she has no proof, she suspects Mac was involved, since the rear edge of the dish-drying pad was no longer tucked under but rather was sticking out of the boot tray. The human thinks that the Merkitty’s claws got caught in the pad — something that often happens, given her strange antics while drinking water — and in pulling her foot back, she overturned the rack, thus dumping both water bowls.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Thoughtful Contemplation

Caesar had his head tilted slightly and was staring off into the distance. This was not his usual wary stance as the human and the evil camera crept close and his paws were exposed to possible petting.

Suddenly, he whipped his head to the other side, but still didn’t meet the human’s gaze.

<<<Can’t I have a few moments to myself in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Corky Helps with Blanket Making

<<<I really don’t understand why my brother makes such a big deal about these blankets.>>>

<<<The cuts seem straight enough to me.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Pepe Flattens Aunt Nan’s Blanket Fabric

<<<It has come to our attention that fabric wrapped onto bolts is often wrinkled when purchased. If you don’t roll out the fabric and flatten the wrinkles, the blanket doesn’t look good when it’s shipped out the door.>>>

<<<Since we care about quality, we decided to help the human by rolling all over the fabric she was using to make a blanket for her 92-year-old aunt. Our goal was to reduce the wrinkles and improve the aesthetics of the blanket. If not us, then who?>>>

<<<Of course, we also have to watch the human and help her make straight cuts so the fringe turns out nicely. We enjoy playing with the fringe to make sure it has proper drape and positioning. These are not details you can leave to the human to work out on her own. Sad as it is to admit, she’s just isn’t good enough with her crafting. Fortunately, she has me!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Faithful Guardian of the Crunchy Bowl

Mac is the official guardian of the crunchy bowl. Even when the bowl is full, she sits beside it waiting for more to be added. Heaven help the human if she refills the bowl with a type of crunchy that the cats don’t like.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

MY Catnip!

Corky was taking a trip without leaving the farm, enjoying a bit of the wildwood weed.

Mac, who’d already indulged, sat close by glaring at Corky, who was pretty much oblivious. It was almost like Mac resented seeing him have his fun. So intently were the cats focused on each other or the catnip that the human managed to get quite close without either of them paying her any mind. There were no scuffles, but Mac made no secret of the fact that she thought Corky should have waited until she was completely finished and had left the room before enjoying some nip. The funny thing is, that’s what he usually does. He’s not food aggressive like she is.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

An Even Smaller Box

The human had a cute box she thought the brothers would enjoy checking out. She put it on the floor and waited to see what would happen.

No surprise, Pepe sniffed it over, then climbed in. Unfortunately, his brother was also curious and got fairly close to the box, which he still occupied.

<<<Do I really have to share with my brother?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Losing Your (Momentary) Favorite Kitty Bed

Mac and Caesar had taken over the wide pillow covered over with the very-plush “mama fur” blanket — a favorite among the cats for mixing and snuggling.

Pepe was somewhat incredulous that he had to content himself with the purple blanket.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

I Have a Bone to Pick with You, Human

Four of the five cats were milling around in their early-afternoon foray asking for snacks. The human put down some dried catnip and silver vine.

Several of the meows checked out the catnip, then wandered over to sit and ponder the situation.

Undeterred, Mac walked over to tell the human just what she thought about the food offering.

<<<What part of ‘We want crunchies’ don’t you understand, human?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.