Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Bad Behavior

Waterwerks

The human found this mess when she arrived in the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the monsters a few weeks back. Not only was the rack with both water bowls tipped onto its side, spilling water everywhere, but the absorbant pad underneath was pulled out from under the rack and completely off the rubber boot tray.

This is clearly the work of the house’s resident water monster (and floor destroyer), Macaroni the Merkitty. <<<Heavy sigh…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why do You Always Blame Me?

<<<Just saying…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Faithful Guardian of the Crunchy Bowl

Mac is the official guardian of the crunchy bowl. Even when the bowl is full, she sits beside it waiting for more to be added. Heaven help the human if she refills the bowl with a type of crunchy that the cats don’t like.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

I Have a Bone to Pick with You, Human

Four of the five cats were milling around in their early-afternoon foray asking for snacks. The human put down some dried catnip and silver vine.

Several of the meows checked out the catnip, then wandered over to sit and ponder the situation.

Undeterred, Mac walked over to tell the human just what she thought about the food offering.

<<<What part of ‘We want crunchies’ don’t you understand, human?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Thoughtful Afternoon Gift

Caesar, being the polite and thoughtful cat he is, likes to bring his human little toy mice as gifts several times per day. In the early morning hours, he hopes his gift will encourage the lazy human to exit the kitty nest and get going with her day (and the feeding of the meows). During the afternoon, when the human is often on conference calls, he likes to bring toys to the edge of her office in the hopes of getting her to wind up her day and feed the meows their dinner. The fact that his gifts are usually preceded by loud moaning sounds just adds to the interesting things that humans on the other end of the call get to hear.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why Does She Behave Like that?

Caesar was stumped. Macaroni was flipping back and forth on top of the sheet of crackly paper with limbs akimbo. Her coat was coated with catnip. She was insensible to reason.

<<<Such a lack of dignity…and with the human watching….>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Bowl or No Bowl?

Corky and Macaroni have a new “thing.” They cannot possibly eat out of a bowl of crunchies once a small section of the bottom of the bowl starts to show. No, it doesn’t matter how many crunchies are scattered all around the sides (as can be seen above). That bowl is now absolutely off limits, which means the human is in trouble and both cats are going to act out.

Interestingly, if the human just shakes the bowl and redistributes the contents so the bottom no longer shows, then the bowl is quite fine and the bad behavior stops — at least for a short time, until a small part of the bottom of the bowl shows again. Clearly, the human does not understand the need for such panic, so Corky and Mac amp up the mischief until the human can be persuaded to refill the bowl again.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Look What She Did to My Nails!

<<<First the evil human used the even more evil clippers on Caesar and then she used them on me. Look what she did to my beautiful nails! Is there no authority protecting bodily sanctity here? Okay, so maybe I was shredding the legs of her mahogany bed when she didn’t get up and refill my crunchy bowl at 2 am. Hey, I can’t eat out of it when the bottom is showing. Besides, how are these things even remotely comparable ?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Human and the Clippers

<<<The human has been mumbling about trimming my toenails. I’ve managed to escape her every time she tries to sneak up on me with something in her hands. Only when the two-legged is laying down and mostly helpless do I flop down on top of her and demand the attention that is my due.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Distressing Things that have Happened

It’s been so long since the human has posted that many things have happened to us that our fans don’t know about.

For instance, after inviting our neighbor’s cat to stay with us for 5 days — did anyone think to ask if we were okay with this arrangement? — a few weeks later, the human brought a small kitten into our house.

Granted, the kitten was only here for a few hours while the human arranged to bring it to a shelter. Still, she held it in her arms and cooed over it in our presence. We were not amused. At our age, we do not want to have to start all over and train a kitten.

Fortunately, the human took the tiny kitten away and the tiny kitten was eventually adopted. You have to stay on top of that two-legged every minute because, when you’re not looking, she’ll bring anything into this house.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Very, Very Bad Human

The very, very bad human is still alive and still living with us. Yes, we have been merciful, even though she hasn’t posted on our blog since late October. How are we supposed to keep up with our fans? Still, we’ve let her know in many ways that she continues to disappoint us. We finally had a breakthrough this afternoon when we guilted her into creating this post. How long the guilt will last is anyone’s guess, but at least we’ve made some kind of progress.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Almost Made it…

We got to day 4. The human even managed to clip Cocoa’s front claws without bloodshed. However, late that evening, the human stepped out of the big bedroom for a nature break and was a bit too careless when returning to bed. Fireball made a major jail break and spent that night and the next day out. First thing he did was run across the hall and start pushing first his nose and then those clever red paws under the door. Fortunately, Cocoa must have been in her kitty bed and not watching. If there were any altercations on opposite sides of the door during the night, the human didn’t hear them…and she didn’t fall asleep until after 1 am, so upset was she that she’d let Fireball escape. The next day, the Little Red Bee was missing his best buddies, Mac and Caesar, but there was little chance he’d let the human pick him up and return him to the bedroom, so he had to live with the choices he made in the spur of the moment. There were 5 happy cats when Cocoa’s family returned and she went back to her house.

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

No One is Happy in this House

<<The human has let another cat in the house. It’s in the other bedroom right across the hall. Corky made a jail break for 30 minutes and confirmed this arch betrayal. We also feel resentful that we should all be locked up. It’s our house. Whatever was that human thinking?>>

This is Cocoa. Her humans next door had to go out of town for 5 days. The easiest and kindest thing was to bring her here. However, no one is happy about this situation, Cocoa included. That’s a bit scary, as Cocoa is a big girl with all of her claws. She has a fearsome growl too.

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Détente?

It took a day and a half, but Cocoa is now purring as well as growling when the human walks in the room. <<Conflicted?>> She doesn’t know her humans family is away. She’s just mad at THIS human for catnapping her from her home and bringing her to a strange place where she knows…where she can hear and smell…there are other cats.

In the meantime, the attempts at jail breaks by the other 5 seem to have slowed down and they are being remarkably well behaved, all things considered. That should probably be worrying…

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What has the Human Done?

<<There is another cat in the house…we can hear it and we can smell it, but we can’t see it. Why not? Because we have been jailed by our captor in the big bedroom…all of us. What in the world has that crazy human done now?>>

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Evil Struck Twice Yesterday

Just when you think it’s safe to trust your human, she pulls something like this. First, with the promise of a snack, she lured the Merkitty into the downstairs bath, then quickly shut the door, trapping the panicked watery one. Next, the human picked her up and started trimming toenails quickly and efficiently, despite sad little whimpers from Mac. The human made such good progress on the forepaws that she actually trimmed the rear ones as well.  Despite repeated attempts, the human was unable to trick Caesar in a similar way, so his meeting with the clippers occurred later in the day in a totally different room and setting. After a little post-work snuggle, the tricksy human got up, slipped clippers into her pocket and disappeared into another room where she sat and waited for the meows to come in and bump her leg. When the Big Guy appeared and snuggled the human, she picked him up (<<Horrors!>>) and carried him (<<Double horrors!>>) back into the bedroom where she proceeded to clip claws (<<Triple horrors!>>) . She got all toes but one dewclaw on the front paws and then, emboldened, she managed to get 2 claws clipped on one rear paw before Caesar had had enough and really started putting up a struggle. While Mac forgave the human fairly quickly and was back draping herself around the human’s head (<<and hogging most of the pillows>>) before long, Caesar has kept his distance and will not let the human get close. It will be weeks before a human in motion will be able to get close to the Big Guy and even longer before he will let down his guard enough to be picked up again. Still, no blood was drawn among cats or human, and now two of the monsters are set for a couple of months before the process has to be repeated. <<Whew!>> <<Does no one care how much we suffer?>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Incommunicado

No, our human has not been banished to cold northern regions the last 3 months although, as hot as it’s been, she probably would have liked that.

And, no, it’s not that we haven’t been doing all sorts of cute things…she’s even taken photos of us doing them.

Her only excuse is that she’s been working long hard hours during this crazy human pandemic…not that that should have affected her service to us!

We’ve given the human a stern talking to and she’s finally recommitted to serving our literary needs and desires. She promises to be better about posting on our blog and keeping our fans up to date with our adventures. We shall see if she keeps her promise.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Dreamstime.com.

Peculiar Things

Corky and Mac have a peculiar hang up involving the crunchy bowl.  They absolutely throw a hissy fit if, as they’re eating their way down through the contents of the bowl, they see a small space open up at the bottom of the container. Even though there are plenty of crunchies still in the bowl, it’s as though once they spy the bottom of the dish, that must mean the dish is empty.  This usually happens in the middle of the night when the silly 2-legged is trying to sleep. Corky yowls and starts beating up the curtains in front of the sliding doors and Mac does a variety of things ranging from scratching furniture to unplugging devices from the electrical receptacles. And both of the little darlings throw water all over the floor. <<You can see some in the upper right corner above.>>  The exhausted human wakes up, gets out of bed, looks at the crunchy bowl, points to all the crunchies that are still in there, and goes back to sleep. This goes on for several rounds a night until either the human gives in and refills the bowl or the cats give in and go to sleep. Well, last night, a very exciting thing happened. Apparently, they tried hard to wake the human, but she just kept rolling over and hiding under the covers. Apparently, in desperation, the cats actually ate almost all the crunchies out of the bowl. Now that’s progress!

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.

While You Lay Sleeping

Sometimes the human thinks she doesn’t sleep much at night, but evidence to the contrary meets her eyes the following morning.  For example, three nights ago the two-legged woke to find not 1, not 2, but 7 tiny toy mice lined up beside her bed. She crushed a couple while climbing down from the tall bed in the dark the following morning. The cats always make that distinctive throaty moaning sound as they drag toy mice upstairs for the human and drop them on the floor. The fact that the human didn’t hear that happen 7 times in the same night suggests that she was out of it.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2020, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image my own.