Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Bad Behavior

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Evil Human Hits the Meow

The human and the kitties have been having a fun activity first thing in the morning. Since their tiny tummies absolutely positively cannot wait the 7 minutes on average that it takes the human to select a can of soft food, open the can, spoon it out, mix in nutrients, add water, mix it up, and then spoon it out into multiple dishes that are then put on the floor, she has to give them a couple of raw freeze-dried meat snacks to tide them over until breakfast is served — it’s that or face lots of loud sassy commentary from the 4-leggeds who get under the human’s feet and try to get up on the counter to hurry the process along.At first, she just put a few treats in front of each cat, but what was the fun of that?  So to make things more interesting, and ensure everyone got a bit of fun and a bit of exercise, she started tossing the soft, crumbly little cubes around on the floor so the cats had to chase and capture the snack to eat it. Corky has really gotten into the action and barrels right over or through any cat that stands between the snack and his mouth.  A couple of weeks ago the human tossed around treats. They aren’t exactly aerodynamic shapes, so they don’t always land where the human expects and the cats hope they will land.  Unfortunately, she hit Fireball with one of the treats. Mind you, getting hit with one is like getting hit with small marshmallows. (They have to be tossed gently, not thrown with force or they could shatter all over the floor.) Nonetheless, that scared the Fraidy Cat who is so easily frightened by anything and everything. To make matters worse, the next time the game was played, the human tossed a snack over the top of Fireball and Caesar, who were eating their own treats. Of course, in his haste to get to the treat, Corky almost knocked Fireball over. Now the poor Baby Comet skips the treats game and either waits for the human to bring him special snacks in his little nest, or he visits the human in her office and hopes she’ll dispense treats there. <<Bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Plea

This is the Merkitty. She’s just chastised the human for not leaving her office and finding food for the meows…<<at 2:30 in the afternoon, mind you!>>. First she tried cuddles. Then she tried sass. And last she tried a throaty plea for compassion.  When none of those things worked, she looked daggers at the human and called her jailer names under her breath.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Miss Twinkletoes

Here is the Merkitty engaging in a bit of morning paw dangling. She does enjoy liberating those toes and nails and cooling her feet outside the warmth of the kitty bed and fleece fabrics. As you can see from the length of those claws, she keeps them mighty sharp on cat scratchers, rugs, and any handy piece of furniture — especially when the human is watching. It’s a good thing she uses both legal and illegal scratching devices, as when the human sneaks up on her with the nail trimmers, a good struggle ensues.  The human has to content herself with only trimming 2-3 nails per week, as that’s about how long it takes for the Mer to allow the human to sneak up behind her again — with or without evil metal devices in hand.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Make Your Own Entertainment

Several days in a row the human walked into the other bedroom and found a cardboard cat scratching box (which is shaped like a cube with the center cut out) lying on its side instead of standing on an end.She thought that maybe one of the kitties had used it like a step stool to climb up or down from the bed in that room so, being a well-trained human, she turned it up on its side again. After three mornings in a row of tilting it back up, the 2-legged noticed a toy mouse in the center of the overturned cat scratcher. That made her think the kitties were inventing their own games, so she went around the upstairs and picked up the multitude of toy mice that had been dragged out of the toy boxes on the stairs and strewn around during the night.  She placed all the mice in the center of the scratching box and left it on its side. Each evening she’d return to look at the overturned scratcher and would usually find most of the mice had been removed and taken elsewhere.  She’d go around and collect them again and refill the space, then check to see what was there come morning.  As you can see, the number of toys keeps increasing, and the cats have started scratching on the front face of the box — a surface not meant to be scratched….much like the hand-knotted rug on which it sits. <<Sigh. Within 10 square feet of this rug, there are no less than 5 hanging and standing cat scratchers. I guess they prefer wool to cardboard or sisal.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Mer Smirks

This is Macaroni the Merkitty. She’s been giving the human a piece of her mind. (Sadly, the camera isn’t fast enough to capture those open-mouth plaintive cries.) The human has put the kitties on a diet. D-i-e-t is a 4-letter word and it isn’t nice. In the old days, there were bottomless crunchy bowls upstairs and down. Now food is only offered at certain times a day, and the crunchies are limited and only come with water in them. Blecht. <<Bad human!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Entrapment

<<Sure, I’m not supposed to get on the table, but you put the pen cap within easy reach. You’re just tempting me.>><<And if I decide to knock it off the table and chase it around the kitchen floor until I lose it, well that really just constitutes entrapment, since you planted it in front of me where you knew I couldn’t resist.>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Afternoon Greeting Party

This is the afternoon greeting party. Two of the cats are waiting patiently…well, somewhat patiently…outside the human’s office for their afternoon snack.  When she takes a short break, they’ll follow her into the kitchen and remind her of what’s really important in the moment.They come downstairs in ones and twos all afternoon to cajole the human into doling out something to eat. If she ignores the head bumps to her legs and the plaintive cries delivered by kitties standing on hind legs and reaching up to touch her or her desk, or the more insistent attempts to jump onto her keyboard, then most of them will move out into the living room and wait…on the good days. Occasionally there will be some sassy faces and some sassy sounds, and of course there will be Mer-smirks, but for the most part, they’ll leave the human be after a while. Maybe they know when she’s on deadline.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Brat-a-Saurus Messes with the Silly Human

Of late, Cranky Corky (aka Brat-a-Saurus) has had a great game going with the human. He starts in anywhere from midnight on and wails plaintively about the lack of fresh crunchies in the food bowl. (No worries, he’s not sick, he just hates being on a diet.)  Never mind that there is soft food sitting in one bowl and crunchies that are now puffed up from absorbing water sitting in a second bowl right next to him. No, he wants fresh crunchies and he wants them now! If the human doesn’t respond, he literally jumps in bed and stomps on her body, then he pounces on Mac and bites her neck or he chases poor Fireball off the bed and all the way downstairs.  In short, Cranky Corky is a royal pain in the back side and a complete brat.  Only when the human gets up and dispenses a small amount of fresh crunchies does peace and quiet return — for a few hours at least. Unfortunately, the more the human acquiesces, the more frequently the Angry Ankylosaurus pulls this stunt. The other option is to lock the Crankster in the other bedroom, although then everyone has to listen to him whine and complain for several hours before he settles down.  Anyone interested in adopting cute, middle-aged male cat with grey & white tuxedo markings? I might know one who needs a new home.  (Said by a human operating on weeks of little sleep.)

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.