Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Bad Behavior

Bowl Patrol

It’s the afternoon. The human is cranking away on her keyboard and Bowl Patrol members are on duty.First, they visit the human in ones and twos to encourage her to take a break and give them a snack (or a full-blown meal).  If that doesn’t work, they intensify the pressure on the human by standing up and putting their paws on her desk or sinking their claws into her leg, scratching on items they know they shouldn’t, or jumping up and landing next to the keyboard.  The longer the human ignores them, the more intensely they act out. Finally, the silly human takes a break. There is great rejoicing right outside the office door. Of course, it’s important not to act smug like you think you’ve won the battle, so they quickly look away and participate in a bit of personal gratuitous grooming followed by a bit of community grooming.  It’s important to follow the human and make sure she is guided to the snack container or to the crunchy jar.  She often is distracted and completely forgets what you’ve worked hours to get her to do.  Such a silly human.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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She’s Taking a Short Vacation Out Back

<<The bad human and her computer were sent outside for a while. Hopefully, she’ll get back to blogging shortly. It’s kind of crowded out there and the internet connection is really iffy.>>

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Pepe & the Pen

If cats got diagnosed with ADHD, Pepe would be a leading candidate.  He needs constant attention and affection from the human. Even with that, he gets bored very easily and needs lots of entertainment or he’s off to get into trouble. The silly human, after caring for and feeding the cats and tackling critical morning chores, finally sits down for her own breakfast and to plan out her day. She has to eat or write with one hand and pet or entertain Pepe with the other, or he’s head-butting her arm, tapping her shoulder or chin with his paws, climbing into her lap, and generally being a brat.  He doesn’t seem to have the will for self-entertainment most days.  One of the best ways to keep him entertained for a couple of minutes is to give him a pen.  Mind you, the human clamps the cap down very tightly before giving the pen to him. Fortunately, he’s never managed to get a cap off the pen. In truth, he doesn’t hang onto them for very long.
He starts by tossing and spinning them around for a bit.   Next, he stands up and cuffs them around the seat of his chair. Not surprisingly, the pens quickly find their way to the floor where he stares at them for a moment, then returns to his position and ask for another one. Jumping down from the chair and expending all that energy to chase a pen around the floor is just too much to ask of the Pepster most mornings. It’s nothing for him to go through one, then two, and finally three pens until the human has none to write with unless she picks them up off the floor. He’s such a Pepster!

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Dangerously Close to being Sent Back to the Dog House

<<Bad human! She’s forgotten that we’re more important than work and hasn’t posted in over a week. We’re giving her one more chance before we send her out to the dog house.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos from Fotolia.com

Messy Eaters

The human made the cardinal sin of dolling out soft food this week that was chunky.  These kitties have texture issues with chunky foods, even when they are served slathered in gravy, so the 2-legged has to mash up the chunks to get them smooth like a pate. However, being a silly human, she wasn’t as focused on the mashing part as she should have been and she left some chunks.  (It’s hard to be super focused on creating a perfect pate when being assailed by Pepe, who is convinced he’s speeding up food prep by trying to get on the counter and at the food and nutrients she’s adding, and while the others sit around and sound off about just how slowly the human is moving.)  Because there were chunks, the Pepster dragged them out of the bowl and deposited them (and the gravy they were drenched in) on the kitchen floor. Just what the human needed: to have to pick up that mess and wash that section of the floor before she started work.

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

Almost Back in the Doghouse

<<That human has got to get her priorities straight! She’s working too much again and not saving time to update you all on our antics. We almost sent her to the doghouse again, but it’s been so hot that we decided to be merciful…at least long enough to see if she will respond appropriately.>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo from Fotolia.com.

The Watcher

This is Caesar. He’s on watcher patrol.  That means he’s sitting in the human’s office staring at her. Occasionally he walks over and head-butts her legs or stands up and puts his big Caesar paws on the edge of her desk. He’s already had a brushing and a freeze-dried raw meat snack.  However, he hopes he can encourage her to cough up some additional food if he just practices eyeball juju hard enough.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

In the Dog House

<<The reason you haven’t heard from the kitties for half a month is not the fault of the kitties. We’ve been cute, we’ve been funny, we’ve been photogenic, and we’ve been clever. The fault is the bad human, who has let work come before play. She promises to get back with the program soon.  For now, she’s in the dog house. We’ll let her out when she starts posting again! ~~ Love, the Penta Pack>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Image from Fotolia.com.

Sassy-Faced Sissy Bird

The human got scolded roundly today.  All 5 of the meows took turns mobbing her in her office demanding food. Mind you, the human was on the phone and there was food upstairs — just not to their liking — plus the human had given most of them snacks 15 minutes earlier (although clearly not enough). When the 2-legged took a break and walked out into the living room, Macaroni started sassing loudly and frequently. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bright enough for the camera’s lens to capture the Smirking One in full oral complaint.  By the time the image was shot, that little upturned face with wide-open mouth was facing down again. Nonetheless, this will give you an inkling of the 10 minutes of sass the human heard and saw from that kitty.

 

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

When Frustrations Get too High, Eat some Spider Plant

The cats weren’t happy with the human. They’d been letting the 2-legged know for several hours that they wanted their “dinner.” Mind you, breakfast was still upstairs sitting in bowls uneaten.  <<That doesn’t mean a thing. If the human had given us something we liked to eat, we’d have eaten it. Since she didn’t, we were within our rights to ask for something better.>> The human was trying tough love to stretch the schedule out a bit before she had to give in and give them more food. If she feeds them too early, they wake her several times during the night for more food. Corky just can’t stand walking past an empty food bowl.  As frustrations mounted, the two chief harassers — Corky and Mac — decided at the same time to pull some spider babies off the plant stand and eat them. Fortunately, spider plants aren’t poisonous and in fact are mildly hallucinogenic to cats.  The human thought it was a great idea for them to mellow out, so took out the camera and caught the assault on “film.”  <<What fun is it if the human doesn’t get upset?>>

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.