Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Cuddles

How to Help a Sick Human Recover

Ah, your human is waylaid with influenza? That’s bad luck on your part as that means she’ll be focused on her own survival and not on your whims and desires.  The trick is to help your human recover so quickly that she once again returns to her role of faithful servant.  Here are some pointers.

  1. Do settle your 18 lb bulk on the human’s ribs and chest — all the better if you’re pressing down on one lung. The human will thank you later for helping strengthen her breathing.
  2. Push your face up really close to the human’s. Make sure your whiskers tickle her face.  Breathe on her (even if it means she breathes on you too). Reach out and lick her chin.  If she still doesn’t respond, step on her chin with one of your paws and press down. Guaranteed that will make her sit up.
  3. If she’s whimpering in a fetal curl, walk up and down her achy hips and legs. That may help ease some of her joint pain. Or not.
  4. If you can get her to lift the covers so you can slide under, fall asleep in her arms. When you wake up, make sure to reach up and poke her in the face. You want to make sure she’s still breathing.
  5. Human not doling out snacks and pets? Jump up on her and push your fluffy fur into her face.  That will help her breathe better.  Try clawing the pillows around her face to see if she responds.
  6. Yowl every 3 hours for food even if there are 3 kinds of food already laid out on the floor. (You can’t seriously be expected to have to eat old food from dirty bowls.) This way she doesn’t fall into a coma (or get much sleep).  If she cusses and snarls from her deathbed about all the food that’s out on the floor, jump up on her in bed and sing a song.  She’ll relax and stop the bad behavior. Just as she’s about to fall asleep, jump on her bladder or walk on her head. The latter is always helpful with influenza, since her head feel like it’s caught in a giant pair of vice grips anyway. Yelling will make her headache worse and will intensify the pain in every corner of her skull, including her teeth.  You’ve done your job. She’s still alive!
  7. Tag team her with your best pals.  Make sure she is surrounded and that everyone is singing songs to help her feel better.  Lull her back to sleep…for the moment.  Then repeat the above.

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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New Fuzzy Blankets are Well Received

Well, the human did one thing correctly for the holidays. She picked up 2 more fleece remnants at the fabric store and put them in the main kitty beds on the human’s bed. The new fuzzy blankets are colorful and fluffy, so everyone seems to like them a lot.  In fact, between the extra layer of blankets and the far-infrared mattress pad, it’s hard to get the cats out of the kitty nest in the morning for breakfast. Of course, if they hadn’t gotten the human up at 3 am for food, they probably would be hungrier and therefore more incentivized to eat at the proper time (and the human would be better rested).

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Dangle Buddies

Because it’s been really cold of late, the human put the much beloved far-infrared heating pad back on the bed.  Both two-legged and four-legged people love that device! The pad has a 10-hour heating cycle before it automatically shuts off. That’s perfect as the human turns it on a little while before she plans to dive into bed so everything is toasty when she arrives. And she turns it back on in the morning when she gets up so the cats have the benefit of the penetrating warmth during the day when they’re snoozing upstairs. (Keeping them happy helps ensure the human gets work done on the lower floor.) Between the fleece blankets, the soft padded kitty beds, and the far-infrared heat, some of the cats are loathe to leave the bed even for their breakfast — meaning the human has to hand deliver food right to their “nest.”  The human saw Caesar and Mac lounging with paws dangling the other morning and just had to snap a few pics. Caesar looked like he was recovering from a night of indulgence, and Mac acted like she was standing guard over here big pal.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

New Fake Fur Kitty Blankets

The human was at the fabric store a few weeks back (always a dangerous place to be!) purchasing some fleece to make some gift blankets for family and friends. It’s nearly impossible to walk past the remnants bins without having a bit of a look.  Fortunately, the human found two lovely synthetic “furry” fabric pieces that were just the right size to put in the kitty beds.  As usual, she proudly brought home her gifts and presented them to the kitty overlords and waited to see how they responded. Rather than the usual disdain her gifts are met with, this time the new fabric got an appreciative nod from the feline kingdom. As you can see, the Merkitty had a nice mix, then flopped down on top of the fabric and rolled around on it. (I guess that means she marked it as her own.)Pepe, Fireball, Caesar, and even Corky all checked out the new blankets and seemed to like them as well. So nice to finally find something the kitties like and that will keep them warm and cozy as winter closes in on us.

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

You WILL Let Me Wash Your Face!

This is Caesar in action.  Imagine having your head and neck mangled like that.Clearly Fireball had a dirty ear or face or whiskers that needed scrubbing.  Equally clearly, Caesar decided that the Little Red Bee wasn’t equipped to do the work on his own, so The Big Guy came to the rescue.It’s a wonder Fireball’s neck isn’t out of kilter after all of that mauling with those big paws. And of course with Caesar spit on him, his fur will be standing on end for hours.  However, at least it will be clean!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Paw Dangle Variations

Here are the kitties trying out some new variations on the paw-dangling phenomenon that is so prevalent in this house.First you have the “twoferone” variation, which Caesar and Mac are demonstrating with grace. And then you have Caesar and Fireball showing us how to do the paw stack with double-swept reverse paw positioning.  It’s a very sweet options for best buddies — especially when you have a younger kitty who mimics everything the older kitty does.Of course, here’s the Trio demonstrating the triple stack with the top two layers somewhat rearward of the lowest. Mac is contributing two paws to Caesar’s one (although he’s spreading his toes and extending his claws).  Fireball is just ignoring the whole thing.  This position is also a variation of the puppy pile with three kitties. Caesar was there first, later joined by Fireball.  Mac had to mash herself between both of them as she always wants to be in the middle of all the action.

In all the decades the human has cohabited with cats, she doesn’t remember any group of felines who did this amount of paw dangling.  They do it at any and all times of year, so it’s not just because it’s been hot and their feet are toasty.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Between a Pillow and a Pillow

At the foot of the human’s bed, the kitties have a wide swath of fake-fur fabric that they adore.  There also are 2 small pillows strategically placed to cushion little kitty heads and faces as they sprawl across that fabric. They love those little pillows.  During bed-making duties, the human apparently did not properly distribute the pillows one day recently. When she came back upstairs, she found Corky literally wedged between the two pillows. (Perhaps having pillows on the front and back of Corky’s body felt comforting — like lying in one of the kitty beds.) It looked so cute that the human had to shoot a few photos. Miraculously, Corky sat still and posed for 3 shots.  Notice the nice new green collar?  He too is now wearing a sparkly adornment, which helps Fireball know when either he or his brother Corky are trying to sneak up on the Little Red Bee.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Are You SERIOUSLY Going to Bother Me?

Fireball was zonked out in one of the kitty beds this morning. The human approached intending to give him a kiss and a few pets.  Half-lidded amber-green eyes opened and implored the human to leave him be. She of little restraint did halt and go back to get the dreaded camera. While she didn’t mess with his fur, she did snap a photo and flash his eyes with the annoying fill light thereby proving that there really is no rest for the weary.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Face Dirty with Electrons

The human was cranking away at the keyboard when Pepe showed up in the office the other day and promptly jumped up behind her on the chair. (She is well trained and obligingly bends forward so he can sit on the pillow between the chair back and her back, which turns out to be delightful as the warm, soft, purring cat nestles against her lower back.)  Before the human realized what was going on, Pepe had jumped from the pillow to the top of the chair back and was soon balancing half his 18-pound/8.2-kilogram body weight onto one of her shoulders.  He leaned fairly far forward, then turned his head and started washing the human’s face on that side.  Next he changed position and moved to the other shoulder, stretched forward, and washed the human’s face on that side too. It’s amazing how dirty the human gets typing on the computer all day. Must be all the electrons collecting on her face.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Chilly Sillies

No, the kitties have not gone on holiday and the human hasn’t either. The lazy 2-legged has just been very busy and has not made time to chronicle the adventures of the 4 leggeds. However, it’s been unseasonably cool for August and there have been some notable antics of late.  The human calls these the “chilly sillies” since we’re not quite in snow-silly season, and it’s definitely the cool weather that seems to be driving the humorous exploits.  (When it’s hot and humid, they just lay around in little piles on the floor and look miserable — much like the human who flops on furniture a few feet higher off the ground.)  Here are some of their recent adventures.

  • Macaroni is back to making her Merkitty messes, leaving big water puddles around the water bowls.  She also uncharacteristically has started chasing the red dot from the laser pointer around on the floor. Usually she’s w-a-y too sophisticated to stoop to such silliness. Additionally, she’s back to curling herself around the human’s head early in the morning and washing the 2-legged’s face while using her cute paws to pat the human on the face. (If only she’d fully retract those darned claws, the process would be quite relaxing. As it is, the human has to keep eyes open and face pulled back a bit to avoid getting hooked.)
  • Fireball is a master of “hit and run.”  He bounces up on the bed, squeaks, and lands on the human. Then he comes over and settles down sphinx style very close to the human’s face and looks at her. Or, he turns and faces the other direction leaving a bum in close proximity to the human’s face, which meanwhile is getting swished with a striped orange tail.  He stays about 90 seconds and then squeaks and runs off to something more interesting than a human…unless he thinks he can get her to give him some kitty toothpaste, which he just loves the taste of and will eat 10x a day if the human would let him.
  • Corky has been getting lots of exercise upstairs both morning and evening chasing the laser dot.  He also spontaneously chases balls around the tracks of two toys upstairs at all hours of the night. He’s very vocal at any hour and lets the human know what he thinks about the empty crunchy bowls at 2 am, at 4 am, and at 6 am. Then he keeps up a steady chatter trying to encourage the dawdling and half-asleep human to hurry up and put breakfast on downstairs. Unfortunately, Corky’s also been chasing poor Fireball, and Pepe is chasing both Corky and Fireball.  Anything that moves is fair game.
  • Pepe has been such a brat to Fireball that the human put him in a collar with a jingly bell. He thinks he’s hot stuff because he’s the only 4-legged with a collar and a bell, and the collar is quite sparkly.  He was so jazzed up this morning that he even chased the human, who then had to try not to step on the rapidly approaching creature.  In between, Pepe kept entertained by running from one bedroom to the other, jumping on the bed, spinning in circles, and then jumping off and running to the other room.
  • Even Caesar Beaser has been silly of late.  He bounces up onto the bed and runs over to get pets from the human. When he’s done being cooed over, he stomps across the top of the human’s pillow and flops down beside her and begins dangling paws and tail until Fireball or Mac decide to join him in the kitty bed. At that point he jumps down and seeks solitude elsewhere.

Looking in their eyes, you almost can see the wheels turning:  What can we do to mess with the human today?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.