Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Play

Goofy Girl & the Spin Cycle

We’ve once again had crazy ups and downs in temperature here and the last three nights we got snow — not a huge amount, but enough that the kitties got snow sillies out of it.Case in point: the Goofy Girl got all sillied up.  First she got into one of the kitty beds and started kicking around an adorable little felted toy.  Next she spun in circles chasing it around on her paws. You’d think she was in the spin cycle of a washing machine.Then she flipped upside down and gave it backfoot furnippies. And while she was kicking and biting the toy, she looked back and reached a fore paw over and bopped poor Fireball on the head. He was sitting in an adjacent kitty bed watching her antics.  She alternated kicking the toy and harassing her brother until she tired of her silliness and got up. Next she chased Fireball out of his bed, then she got into a flurry of fistacuffs with Big Caesar. Then she flew off the bed and went looking for a toy mouse to chase up and down the stairs. We could hear her making that funny moaning sound the kitties make when they’re carrying around a big “kill” (toy mouse) they’ve just vanquished. All of a sudden, Goofy Girl came flying through the air again and landed back in bed and began bothering Caesar and Fireball again, who’d returned to their soft warm beds when the little minx vanished. On and on they went for hours last night.  Of course, as soon as the human brought out the evil camera and started taking shots, Macadoodle got embarrassed she’d been caught being silly and began some gratuitous grooming. Mustn’t let humans see you being other than dignified….

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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Cookie Jar

The kitties each get 2 raw freeze-dried treats from the “cookie jar” in the morning. This temporarily fills big holes in little tummies and buys the human a bit of time to get their soft food prepared before the yowling begins.  Originally, the human used to toss treats around on the floor and invite each cat to go chase down the snacks. Most would literally hunker down and stare at the human as if she was crazy. Even when the human managed to successfully get a snack to land right beside a cat, the cat usually could not be bothered to turn and nibble. However, if the human kneels down on the floor and puts all the treats out in front of the cats, then they are happy to eat. While one could never really say they are well behaved as the human prepares to divvy up snacks, they are remarkably restrained given how they act at other times.The trick is not to stay and enjoy watching them nosh on their nibbles, but to quickly put the lid back on and run to the kitchen and get the soft food prepared as soon as possible. Some mornings the human remembers the bigger goal; some mornings she just enjoys watching the penta pack enjoy their treats. Those days she deserves the yowling that follows.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

How to Help a Sick Human Recover

Ah, your human is waylaid with influenza? That’s bad luck on your part as that means she’ll be focused on her own survival and not on your whims and desires.  The trick is to help your human recover so quickly that she once again returns to her role of faithful servant.  Here are some pointers.

  1. Do settle your 18 lb bulk on the human’s ribs and chest — all the better if you’re pressing down on one lung. The human will thank you later for helping strengthen her breathing.
  2. Push your face up really close to the human’s. Make sure your whiskers tickle her face.  Breathe on her (even if it means she breathes on you too). Reach out and lick her chin.  If she still doesn’t respond, step on her chin with one of your paws and press down. Guaranteed that will make her sit up.
  3. If she’s whimpering in a fetal curl, walk up and down her achy hips and legs. That may help ease some of her joint pain. Or not.
  4. If you can get her to lift the covers so you can slide under, fall asleep in her arms. When you wake up, make sure to reach up and poke her in the face. You want to make sure she’s still breathing.
  5. Human not doling out snacks and pets? Jump up on her and push your fluffy fur into her face.  That will help her breathe better.  Try clawing the pillows around her face to see if she responds.
  6. Yowl every 3 hours for food even if there are 3 kinds of food already laid out on the floor. (You can’t seriously be expected to have to eat old food from dirty bowls.) This way she doesn’t fall into a coma (or get much sleep).  If she cusses and snarls from her deathbed about all the food that’s out on the floor, jump up on her in bed and sing a song.  She’ll relax and stop the bad behavior. Just as she’s about to fall asleep, jump on her bladder or walk on her head. The latter is always helpful with influenza, since her head feel like it’s caught in a giant pair of vice grips anyway. Yelling will make her headache worse and will intensify the pain in every corner of her skull, including her teeth.  You’ve done your job. She’s still alive!
  7. Tag team her with your best pals.  Make sure she is surrounded and that everyone is singing songs to help her feel better.  Lull her back to sleep…for the moment.  Then repeat the above.

(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Rolling Out the Feathers

The silly human found a down comforter she’d put away and forgotten about. She pulled it out, fluffed it up, and added it to the bed.  Of course, Pepe had to come along and make sure that the feathers were properly aligned and not too fluffy. It’s a good thing someone’s watching out for the 2-legged. Clearly, she can’t figure out these things on her own.

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Crazy Kitties

Let’s be honest. Cats hate change even more than humans do. And when they have a lot of change in their environment over a short period of time, it can sometimes lead to interesting forms of acting out.  So the human brought this on herself.  She decided to flip the furniture in her bedroom on Thanksgiving Day. What had been on the west wall is now on the east, and vice versa.  Of course, while this was all going on, the evil vacuum cleaner was busy sucking up all kinds of things, so the cats stayed far away. Later, after the noise quieted down, things were put to right, and the far-infrared mattress pad was turned back on on the freshly made bed, the cats appeared and began to check things out.  Talk about curious!  One after another they jumped up on the bed, sniffed and looked around, then jumped down only to jump up on a different piece of furniture to explore. Clearly they were quite at a loss as to why the human would do such a radical thing without asking their permission. To further intensify things, the human had washed a bunch of their fleece blankets and hung them out to dry, then brought them inside (smelling of the great outdoors) and put them back in their kitty beds. They love it when they have clean, fresh-smelling blankets!  That evening, there were some mighty interesting and noisy goings on in the house. Fireball ran around chirping loudly and even tried shredding the mattress foundation under the human’s head.  Caesar alternated whacking the ball around on the scratching disc and chasing other cats around playing tag.  Mac tried out 3 different kitty beds in their new locations much like Goldilocks visiting the three bears.  And Pepe and Corky chased each other quite loudly. It was a regular circus that went on until about 2 am. Fortunately, the cats have settled down now and seem to enjoy the slightly modified sleeping arrangements. Still, what was the human doing making a change like that without asking?

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

White Mousy goes Dumpster Diving

The toy mice have been having great parties at night this week.  The human is greatly entertained with the places she finds them when she picks up each morning. Pink mousy showed up beside the smaller crunchy bowl upstairs, while orange mousy was close to climbing into the medium-sized litter box. Back into the toy box they go, only to reemerge for new adventures the next night. The other morning, white mousy went for a dive in one of the food bowls. The cats had nothing good to say about that meal offering, so hopefully at least someone enjoyed the food. Unfortunately, after sitting in a bowl of soppy soft food all night, white mousy is looking a bit worse for wear — even after a bath. Time for the human to clean out the three kitty toy boxes and see what else might need to be recycled.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pattern Change

The Splashasaurus Merkitty has changed her water-flinging pattern.  Instead of the water only going to the right of the bowl, a new pattern has emerged where the water has been tossed to the left as well, albeit not as much.The human wonders what this means…probably that the little Minx is now using both her left as well as her right paws.  Leave it to the Merkitty to continually mix things up.

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Mystery Muddy Footprints

It’s been brutally cold of late. We had snow flurries on Halloween and last week  it dipped below freezing for the first time in half a year.  The human had to haul the houseplants in from the great outdoors a couple of weeks back, including the big ficus tree. For a while she had the large pot (and its plentiful supply of soft fresh soil) barricaded with some containers to keep little kitty feet out.  However, one of the barricades had to be moved and the repositioned items clearly did not dissuade kitty visitors.The human came downstairs the next morning only to see a whole path of dirty, muddy footprints coming out of the pot and moving across a runner on the (unused) woodstove. (They’re subtle, but clearly visible in both photos above).  While she cannot prove it, the human suspects the Merkitty made a nocturnal visit. The human has redoubled her efforts to build an effective barricade, and so far that seems to be working. Give her time and the Merkitty will find a way back into the pot just because she’s not supposed to be there.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Pepe Inspects the New Chairs

The human bought new kitchen chairs back in August. She kept them for a few weeks only to decide she didn’t like them and returned them to the store.  It took another few weeks to look around and find replacements that she liked at a price she was willing to pay. Meanwhile, Pepe was without a chair of his own, which led to all kinds of early morning complaining from Mr. Sassy Face.  He had to sit on the floor instead of standing on a chair and making furtive attempts to put paws and other body parts on the table when the human’s head was turned away.Finally, the human found chairs she liked and ordered 4 of them for the house. It took another week or so to get them delivered, but what you are seeing here is Pepe’s first inspection of the new furniture in early October.Pepe is not one to be overly generous with the flowery language, but so far he seems to be accepting of them.Thank heavens she got kitty approvals! The human would hate to have to go find another set she liked.

 

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

New Fake Fur Kitty Blankets

The human was at the fabric store a few weeks back (always a dangerous place to be!) purchasing some fleece to make some gift blankets for family and friends. It’s nearly impossible to walk past the remnants bins without having a bit of a look.  Fortunately, the human found two lovely synthetic “furry” fabric pieces that were just the right size to put in the kitty beds.  As usual, she proudly brought home her gifts and presented them to the kitty overlords and waited to see how they responded. Rather than the usual disdain her gifts are met with, this time the new fabric got an appreciative nod from the feline kingdom. As you can see, the Merkitty had a nice mix, then flopped down on top of the fabric and rolled around on it. (I guess that means she marked it as her own.)Pepe, Fireball, Caesar, and even Corky all checked out the new blankets and seemed to like them as well. So nice to finally find something the kitties like and that will keep them warm and cozy as winter closes in on us.

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.