Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Month: May, 2015

Tails’ Tales

IMG_2532For a variety of reasons, the human has blankets thrown over the railings on the upstairs banisters. One of the blankets is a quilt for a queen-size bed so is long enough to nearly touch the floor. That makes it the perfect hiding spot for kitties.  The human often walks by in the hallway only to spot a telltale bulge in the fabric and either a leg or a tail sticking out underneath.

IMG_2533It’s quite entertaining to watch other kitties walk by and sniff at the seemingly disembodied appendage, as Corky has just done here. Being the mean human that she is, the 2-legged delights in sneaking past the lump, walking down the stairs a ways, and then flipping the blanket up to reveal the formerly hidden kitty.

However, this time, the kitty outsmarted the human.  As the human snuck past and started down the stairs, apparently the hidden kitty popped out from behind the blanket and ran down the stairs behind her. Just then the human flipped up the blanket only to find no cat.  Of course, the owner of that tail, Pepe as it turned out, was by then grinning up at her from the floor of the living room.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.


IMG_2534The human has described the various thieving raids on the kitchen table and counter in recent weeks. No small object, no matter how uninteresting it appears to a 2-legged, can be allowed to remain untethered on either surface or it is likely to become a make-do hockey puck on the floor to entertain some 4-legged and friends.

This morning, just to throw off the human (a very simple task, really), the pattern seems to have been reversed. Instead of taking something from the table, an object was left. You can see how generous (or devious) those kitties really are.  Or perhaps they are once again commenting on the human’s vegetarian diet.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

New Kitty Condo

IMG_2527The new neighbors offered an almost new kitty condo that their cat wouldn’t use to the kitties.

IMG_2528It fits nicely and makes it much easier to get up in the window in the stove room. (Hooray, maybe the jaguar picture won’t be knocked off the wall anymore.)  The human sprinkled it with dried kitty nip just to help make it more attractive on first use.

IMG_2529Not hard to guess who the first visitors were.  On the other hand, the Little Red Comet has been seen scratching for all he’s worth on the sisal wrapped around the legs, so I guess he approves as well.

IMG_2530Why is it that the biggest cat in the house has to jam himself into the smallest space in the condo?


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Where’s Waldo?


The silly human walked into the bedroom the other day and found all 5 cats within a few feet of each other. Just 9 weeks on, the Penta Pack has settled in nicely, thank heavens.  Of course, each group has taught the other its worst habits, but I guess that’s a small price to pay for something approaching domestic tranquility.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Day Thief Strikes!

Either the night thief is no longer strictly nocturnal, or he has an understudy who is working his/her magic on a diurnal clock.

IMG_2516The other night the silly human climbed the stairs to the second level on the way to dispense evening snacks and get ready for sleep. Lo and behold, as she came around the corner, she found the upstairs crunchy container with the locking lid laying sideways on the floor, lid open, and a great many Game Bird crunchies gone.

IMG_2517Of course, no one is taking responsibility for the crime (impromptu party).  However, when the human came downstairs next morning to dispense breakfast and snacks, she found the paper bag in which she stores recyclables (until it’s time to empty them in the big recycle bin outside) knocked over on its side. Of course, that’s where kitty-food cans go after they’re emptied and washed out in the sink.

There has been a great deal of other thieving going on as well. All sorts of things that had been on the table or counter in the kitchen have been found on the floor: metal jar lids, big cork jar stoppers, half of a whole-wheat roll that fell into a bowl of water in the sink during slicing and was remanded to the compost pail, and a decorative pin that was in between being sorted and recycled.  And this morning the human found a seriously large chunk of old fiberglass insulation (which must have been brought up from the basement) laying on a rug in the upstairs hall. Clearly, nothing small and reasonably lightweight can be left untended. Perhaps this will teach the lazy human to be more diligent about finishing cleaning tasks.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Up Close & (Very) Personal

IMG_2501Pepe doesn’t really have good boundaries, at least not when it comes to the human. He climbs on top of her and stomps along like she’s just another warm and lumpy piece of furniture. Then he lays down and gets very, very close to her face. Fortunately, his whiskers are straight or he’d really be tickling her.  Not only does he sit there staring and breathing on her face, but he occasionally picks up a paw and pokes the human’s mouth. Not sure exactly what he’s trying to do or to communicate but frankly what is cute at 9 pm is darned annoying at 3 am.

IMG_2500When the human picks him up and slides him back a foot or so to give her a bit more space, he obstinately crawls right back up to the same spot he previously was at and resumes his watch. What’s a human to do?


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Holding Up the French Doors

IMG_2506Mac the Merkitty (aka the Water Monster) took a break from flooding the floors the other morning to sprawl on top of the kitty condo upstairs.  Since she’s an inveterate paw dangler, she started extending those mischievous feet.  However, since the condo now rests against the French doors, she was forced to put her paws up in the air, making it look like she was holding up the glass door.


Those adorable little feet of hers are always in to SOMETHING.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Here Comes the Annoying Human Again


Oh, no. Here comes the human. She’s got that look on her face. Either she’s going to kiss my head and mess with my feet, or she’s going to take pictures of me with that annoying camera.  Maybe I can pretend I don’t see her and she won’t see me.


Nope, that was an abysmal failure. She’s already clattering away with the camera. At least it’s light enough out that I’m not getting blinded by the flash. She’s such an annoying creature.


What else can I do but endure it? There is no end to the suffering and indignity of my race.


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Beware of Kitty Gifts

IMG_2216_cThe wimpy human long ago learned not to just bend down and pick up odd things she finds on the floor. Much better idea to crouch down first and examine it with the eyes rather than the fingers.  That proved good advice this week when she saw an odd lump on a rug in the living room.  She lowered herself and took a look. What she saw would had made a great prop for a Halloween haunting. It was the head and neck of a deceased mouse (not a toy).  The eyes were bulging and the mouth open in a grimace.  (Aren’t you glad she didn’t shoot a picture?)  The rest of the body has not been found and likely was a snack for one of the meows. The human should be honored that the last yummy part was saved for her and left outside her office door where toy mice are often presented.  Ah, such is the life of a vegetarian living with carnivores.

(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

The Night Thief

IMG_2430The lazy human ran some errands after emerging from the salt mine last evening.  And despite her inherent laziness, she decided to clean some stray wrappers, receipts, and water-bottle caps out of the cupholder in her vehicle when she came inside.  Of course, the laziness immediately overwhelmed her again once she emptied her pockets and fed the meows, so she left the little bits of this and that on the kitchen table for sorting and recycling tomorrow morning.  In the old days, that wouldn’t have been a problem.

This morning when the lazy human re-emerged from sleep and fed the meows, she found a collection of things on the floor.  Apparently the Night Thief had struck again, jumping up on the table and taking interesting items to chase around the kitchen. The human found a gum wrapper, the water-bottle cap, and a piece of crackly plastic that had previously held a hard candy had all migrated from table to floor. The human had also been cleaning various nooks & crannies in the kitchen and had collected a bunch of silica gel packets (used to absorb moisture and keep packaged goods dry) and left them on the counter. One of those was also being chased around the floor as well.

Now, the human didn’t see the actual stealing in action so I suppose it’s unfair to make accusations.  However, the most likely suspect is shown above.  Yes, it’s the Pepster.  What’s a human to do?


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

It’s (NOT) Nice to Share

IMG_2489My name is Pepe and I don’t like to share. The human reminds me about old TV ads when she was young about it being nice to share.  Such lies and propaganda!

I admit that sometimes my reluctance to accommodate others gets the better of me. I push them a bit too far and then they get mad at me.

I used to do it all the time to my little brother. It was fun to see how far I could push him before he “snapped” and knocked me to the floor. That’s a bit alarming, actually, because he’s smaller and lighter than I am.  He’s quiet and mousy most of the time, but when he gets upset, he’s a force to be reckoned with, meaning I have to be careful not too push too far too fast.  Sometimes I could get away with tormenting him for days on end, but sometimes it only took a few minutes before he’d go off. He needs to learn better boundaries!

I’m still learning what I can get away with the new people (cats) who own this house and the human. They’ve been nice but they definitely let me know from time to time that they were here FIRST. I’m slowly exploring everyone’s boundaries, but in the mean time I still love messing with my little brother.

IMG_2491Take last night.  He likes to get in bed early with the human and lay near her.  I come strolling up on the bed and first thing I do is I wedge myself between him and her. Then I start stretching and wiggling around until one or both of them move over a bit. That gives me a wider opening, so I stretch out bigger. I roll over and poke at the human and she doesn’t like that, especially when I poke her in the face.  It’s not like my paws aren’t clean! Eventually, I push my brother toward one edge of the bed and the human toward the other until I control most the upper half of the bed.  Then I roll onto my back and dangle my paws and feel good about myself.  That makes him feel even more insecure and curl up tighter in a little ball. Sometimes he makes these little squeaky noises — his version of complaining. It’s pretty pathetic actually. He’s SO passive aggressive.

IMG_2493Last night, after I’d executed these moves just perfectly, I decided to mess with his head a little more, so I rolled on my side and wrapped my paw around him as though we were best buds. I even laid my head on his back.  Then he wasn’t sure if he should be mad at me or start liking me again.  And the human couldn’t really scold me for pushing Corky away or being mean.

Of course, not to be outplayed, the human did pull out that nasty camera and start snapping away. What a bright light it has in the dark!  Still, I had both of them just where I wanted them — under my control!  Haaaa hhhhhhaaaaa haaaa!

I’m Pepe the Magnificant. Fear me!


(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.