Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Embarrassing Situations

Table Thief

img_4105Pepe and the human have been going round and round of late on the matter of the silly rule that no cats are allowed on the table or the kitchen counter. They can visit almost anywhere else in the house, but not there.img_4106Unlike his brother Corky, who seems to have no problem with the rule change, Pepe has not adjusted since moving from next door almost 2 years ago.  He’s still testing boundaries on a daily basis.img_4111When the human is eating, she must pull “his” chair up beside her own and pet him while she tries to eat, read, journal, talk with someone on the phone, or catch up on news. There is no excuse for not giving him 100% of her attention. When her attention drifts, as often it does, he keeps things lively, as would be expected.img_4108For example, he is trying to convince the human that just having his front paws on the table doesn’t count as being on the table. After all, most of him is still in the chair.img_4110And leaning forward onto his paws so his chest is on the table still does not constitute a violation of that boundary.img_4114Just let the human leave her seat for a minute to pour a cup of coffee or grab a condiment and the seat stealer is right there sitting in her spot.img_4115And if she has to be gone more than a minute, watch out:  any small item of interest on the table within reach of those paws is fair game to be knocked off and chased around on the floor.img_4118Just before Thanksgiving, the human (who had been working late) decided to use up some leftovers. She poured some crackers onto a dish while she cut a chunk of cheese.  She ate her food while Pepe fussed around on his chair looking for entertainment. The human stood up and turned to the sink for just a minute only to hear Pepe hop into her chair, knock something off the table, and then start chasing it around the slippery kitchen floor like a hockey player.img_4123The human looked back at her spot but could not figure out what the little thief had nabbed. Round and round the kitchen Pepe ran at a faster and faster pace.img_4124The human followed him into a corner only to see the purloined object slide under a rack that holds heavy Dutch ovens. She gave up and went back to her meal only to have Pepe reappear at her feet and leave whatever had been pilfered.img_4121Looking down she saw that it was a broken cracker. Huh! At least he didn’t eat it.img_4120 She got up to put the cracker in the compost pail, then offered him a pen cap, which he usually likes to chase all over the floor — but not that night.img_4125Next the human offered him a nickel figuring it would slide along the floor really fast. Alas, since it was offered, not stolen, the coin held no interest for the feline either.
img_4126Later, after the human had had her meal and cleaned up, she came back down to the kitchen for something only to find that an AA battery that had been sitting in a dish on the table was now on the floor lodged behind a piece of furniture. Cats!

 

(c) Copyright 2017, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

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That Really Doesn’t Look Comfortable…

img_3869The human walked into the bedroom a few months back in the middle of the morning and saw this.img_3868Honestly, it doesn’t look comfortable, does it?img_3867Caesar looks like he’s about to fall out of the kitty bed, but he’s not.img_3866Leave it to the trio to pile into the same kitty bed even when it’s hot outside.img_3864Per usual the human had to ruin their cuddle. If she doesn’t do it by clicking that horrible camera with its flash, then she’s kissing their heads and petting their paws until they just get annoyed. This time she snuck around back and took a very unflattering picture. Mac was mad and Caesar was horrified. <<You’re seriously going to post that one on the internet? There will be revenge!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own

The Gardener

IMG_3310The little Red Bee is a small cat, but he’s a fearsome force of nature when he gets mad.

This week the cellar became verboten for 2 days while Corky recovered from his urinary tract infection. Fireball also had overstayed his welcome in the cellar Sunday evening, so it seemed like a good time to do a kitty time out in the basement on Monday and Tuesday. Fireball did not agree with that decision. (Neither did Corky when he was released from house arrest upstairs.)

When the human came downstairs Monday morning, she found this mess beside the large potted ficus tree in the stove room off the kitchen. (That white cap was supposed to be on the counter, by the way.)  Someone had clearly been in the pot and had dug up soil and tossed it out on the floor and against the wall.  Once Fireball understood that he wasn’t going to have cellar privileges that day, he literally screamed at the human. At one point, he let out such a loud and angry yowl that the amused human walked over with hands on hips, looked him straight in the eye, and said, “Is that the best you can do?” He soon departed to go pout upstairs.

On Tuesday morning, while the human was fixing the kitties’ breakfast (and a plastic clothes basket was again barricading the cellar door so the furry people didn’t body slam it open), the fiery Baby Comet returned to lambasting the stupid 2-legged who just couldn’t get it through her dim brain that he wanted access to the cellar. When she ignored the scolding, he climbed into the ficus pot (outing himself as the previous day’s culprit), and deposited a smelly mess. Guess he showed the human!  The pot is now secured, but the human did give in and let them down into the cellar on Wednesday. Clearly yowling loudly was NOT the best he could do.

 

(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

 

(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Table Manners

IMG_3047The kitties know they’re not supposed to get up on the kitchen table or the counters.  However, if they decide they want to get up there, they get up there even if the human is sitting right in front of them with her lower jaw gaping open (not an attractive look). Normally, she quickly regains her composure and shoos them off, but they just grin insolently over their shoulders as they depart as though to say, “we’ll be back!”IMG_3048The other day, the human was trying to have her breakfast while opening and sorting through mail she’d retrieved the previous evening.  She opened one particular letter and set it aside to remind herself to check on something.IMG_3049Pepe, who’d already had multiple rounds of play with his toys that are tied to the back of “his chair” and was sitting up watching the human (on the off chance food might appear). Suddenly, he inched his way across the table toward that letter and started sniffing and nuzzling it.IMG_3046He managed to move the letter all around on that side of the table as he explored its bouquet.IMG_3045It must have had some interesting odors, because he gave it quite the investigation, as you can see. (Perhaps someone had worked on it while eating lunch at his/her desk.) The human, too entertained watching to chase him down off the table, just took out the evil camera and started snapping.

 

(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Evil, thy Name is Human

IMG_2991<<Oh, the indignity of it all. To think she thinks this is funny.>>

 

 

(c) Copyright 2016, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Gratuitous Grooming

IMG_2851We had a big temperature drop last night, so the 4-legged people have been mighty feisty. Even Caesar, normally the essence of decorum, woke the human 4 times between 3:00 and 4:30 am.

This morning, after breakfast for kitties and the human, and a rousing game of fishing pole as well as laser tag, the Girly Girl came racing out into the kitchen and started flipping around. Once the human laughed out loud, she spoiled everything, as Miss Mac got self conscious and started in doing what all kitties who are embarrassed do:  gratuitous grooming.  Of course, because she was still wild, her grooming exploits took on a comic air as well.

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And in between bouts of back washing, she crouched down and looked every where but at the human, who had witnessed a moment when a kitty was not in complete control, and had had the audacity to laugh about it.

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The only problem is, she was still wild and crazy, so even when she was trying to sit still and look cool, she fairly vibrated with unreleased energy. In an effort to help her out (and, yes, to see more silliness), the human tossed her a pen cap, which normally is one of her favorite toys to chase around the slippery kitchen floor. Alas, not today: she was not going to do something that encouraged the human to laugh at her again.

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Que more grooming.

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Eventually she did settle down, had one more wash, and then gracefully departed the location of her humiliation. <<Humans!  Baah!>>

 

(c) Copyright 2015, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.