Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Tormenting the Cat(s)

Twinkies

Fireball and Mac were enjoying watching the goings on in the yard. The mean squirrels were chattering at them from the trees. Good things there was glass separating squirrels from cats.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

When You Really, Really, Really Don’t Want to Get Out of Bed

Sometimes it’s not easy getting started with your day. The human was stuck because she couldn’t finish making the bed. The Big Guy was determined that he was not going to move.

Making the bed around the big kitty did not seem to change his mind. He just sat there looking cute…and aggrieved.

The human could hardly blame him, as the 2-legged had a hard time getting out of bed herself. The awful heat and humidity had broken briefly and everyone was enjoying a couple of days of blessed cool with low humidity.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Thunderbear has become ThunderRainBear

It’s summer and it’s been terribly hot and humid. That means, thunderstorms have been moving through the area with increased frequency. Caesar, the Thunderbear, is terribly afraid of the sound of thunder as well as the ridiculous amount of fireworks that tend to be set off in this neighborhood between mid-June and early July. Prepandemic, fireworks could last 5-6 hours/night every night for weeks, absolutely terrorizing the Big Guy.

Unfortunately, Caesar now associates the sound of rain with the possibility of thunderstorms, no matter how unlikely the latter are. That means that every time he hears it rain — and it’s been doing that with great frequency and leaving great amounts of water of late — he huddles under the human’s chair and glues himself to her feet and ankles. <<<Why can’t the human make the scary sounds go away?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

The Evilness of Humans

According to both Mac and Caesar, the evilness of humans in this house knows no bounds. For instance, the human picked up Caesar while he was rubbing against her leg and spirited him off to the location of the nail clippers. She then proceeded to hold hm captive while she quickly trimmed all 5 nails on each of his front paws. No harm was done but the Big Guy was NOT pleased! He has made sure to sit down on the floor anytime he gets near the human during the past few days as that makes it much harder for her to pick him up.

Then, poor Mac was catnapped (while having a cat nap) yesterday morning, put in a carrier, and transported to the vet for a checkup. Exams always involve thermometers up the butt and bloodwork. Plus, then Mac was rendered a prisoner cat (isolated in a closed bedroom) for a couple of hours when human and kitty returned home in order to get a clean urine sample that had to be re-transported back to the vet’s office. And this morning, Mac was once again picked up against her will and transported for nail clipping, which the human did quickly and without harm, but completely against Mac’s wishes.

Sometimes it’s unclear whether keeping the human around to pay the mortgage and utilities, open cat food cans, and scoop litter boxes is worth the hassle.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Pillow Pal

The 2-legged is very lucky because, in addition to lots of Velcro furballs who are always glued to her body when she’s laying or sitting down, she also has multiple pillow pals that keep her company at night. The original pillow pal was Fireball, who will occasionally climb onto the human’s pillow when she’s sleeping on her side and curl up around her face. His tummy is so soft and fluffy, and his song is so sweet, that Fireball visits are always special. Unfortunately, being that close to kitty fur does not help the human’s allergies. Sadly, Fireball visits are always short, so you have to enjoy them while they last.

The next pillow pal was Caesar and he still visits daily. He favors wedging his big soft body between the headboard and the top of the human’s head and singing away for an hour or more. Sometimes he slides forward on the pillow, puts one big paw on the closest human shoulder, then curls his head into the crook of the human’s neck and falls asleep. <<<Awww!>>> Caesar is the only cat who will stay on the pillow once the human vacates the space. He also has become somewhat tolerant of the human gently stroking his velveteen paws, as long as she doesn’t push her luck and try to pet them for too long.

Mac is a more recent pillow pal recruit, as she normally favors stretching across the human’s body where it’s easy for her to get stroked and treated like the princess she is. She too is nearly a daily visitor. And being Mac, there are usually several headstand/head rollies before she settles down, and she will often wedge her sleek little body in between Caesar’s body and the human’s head. <<<We won’t mention what that does to the human’s hair.>>> However, let the human’s fingers get too close to her adorable paws and she’s bolts off the pillow as fast as can be. <<<There is only so much I’m willing to tolerate to give the human a little love.>>>

The most recent pillow pal member is Pepe. He favors laying slightly to the side of the human’s head. After all, even though he’s a big kitty, the human’s head is nearly as large as he is and he’s wary of getting smunched. He likes it when the human reaches up and gives him pets, but if she gets tricksy…as she often does when she tries to pet his paws…then he’s out of there! Unlike Caesar, who doesn’t mind sharing the pillow with the human and Mac, Pepe leaves if Mac approaches.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Defect in the Bowl

<<<For those with eyes and a willingness to see reality, there clearly is a defect in the bowl on the right. It is utterly empty…devoid of even the smallest crumb of food. You can tell this because of the gaping chasm at the bottom of the bowl. Those brown things? Not sure what they are. Not food anyway.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Not Pleased with Our Human

We tried replacing our human a few years back when she completely ignored our blog for several months. Unfortunately, no other human seemed to want the job we offered. We adjusted our expections downward (by several orders of magnitude) and decided to chill when our 2-legged got really busy and didn’t make time to let our fans know what we’ve been doing. Still, that doesn’t make it easy and it certainly doesn’t mean that we have to like it when our blog gets ignored. (Don’t worry, our human is still doing all the important household tasks to keep us healthy and well fed.) Still, humans are really challenging pets to keep and they require constant training.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Cozy Again

A displaced Fireball found a nice comfy bed to sleep in…

One that wasn’t contested by the bossy Girly Girl, who was camped out next to him in the pink puff.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Pure Brat-Cat Move

Mac had been sleeping in the other bedroom in the light-brown puff. She entered the master bedroom and hopped up on the bed with the human and three other cats. Unfortunately, she found Fireball sleeping soundly in the pink puff.

In a pure brat-cat move, Mac attacked poor Fireball and chased him out of the pink puff.

Victorious, she hopped in and engaged in a bit of wool sucking and mixing on the pink puff before settling down for a snooze.

Meanwhile, poor Fireball had to go find another bed.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Caesar & the Scary Human

The human started to walk toward the Emperor Kitty, who was otherwise engaged in deep thoughts.

The Big Guy glanced nervously at the approaching human. <<<Does she have the nail clippers hiding in her hands?>>>

<<<Pretend to look away so she doesn’t think you’re watching her. Maybe she’ll just walk by.>>> And she did. No kitties were harmed, no nails were trimmed, no feet were illegally petted, only a couple of quick pics were shot and the 2-legged went on her way. <<<Whew!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Dereliction of Duty

<<<Clearly, even a human can see that the bottom is showing in this crunchy bowl.>>>

<<<You can’t possibly expect us to eat out of a bowl that’s almost empty. Why do you make us suffer so?>>>

<<<Really, you don’t plan to refill the bowl? We’ll starve!>>>

<<<Come on, there’s nothing worth eating here. Maybe we should advertise for a new human again?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What’s the Purpose of All This?

There he sat, facing the wall with his head turned away, as though pondering the meaning of the universe.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Are You REALLY Making Fun of My Face Again?

<<<That’s not even civil, let alone fair.>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Strategic Utilization of Sunlight

The human walked upstairs in the middle of the afternoon and spied one of the cats strategically positioned to enjoy a spot of sunlight. At first the human wasn’t even sure which cat it was.

As the two-legged drew closer, she thought she saw a pair of little white feet, indicating it was Corky.

Sure enough, it was the little Banu Bear, who appeared to be in a good mood and not intending on moving anywhere anytime soon. <<<Can’t a guy relax and enjoy a little peace in this house?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Back and Forth

<<<Do you see the level of the crunchies in this bowl? It’s getting lower…much lower. Soon it will be empty.>>>

<<<But there are plenty of crunchies in that bowl. You have to eat them up before they get stale.>>>

<<<How do you expect me to function with the prospect of impending starvation? It’s all I can think about right now.>>>

<<<You’re hardly going to starve in this house! There are 3 other food bowls just around the corner. You’ve gotten so spoiled. This idea that you can’t eat if you can see the sides or bottom of the bowl, when it is otherwise FILLED with crunchies, is beyond silly.>>>

<<<I’m so disgusted, I can’t even look at you anymore.>>>

<<<Princess Pouty Paws, you’re being silly.>>>

<<<My trust is broken and my heart is oh so heavy!>>>

<<<You’re being a drama queen, Mac. I’m not going to encourage this activity any further.>>>

<<<You are pure evil, human! Wait until you’re asleep. I’ll get my REVENGE!>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

A Meeting of the Minds

Caesar and Pepe were having a meeting of the minds. They were dividing up the territory and deciding who would govern each region. Of course, there was also the matter of the human, who needs constant supervision and frequent reinstruction. They concluded that task was too big a burden for any one cat to take on, even with all their superpowers, so they decided to share the responsibility.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Why do You Always Blame Me?

<<<Just saying…>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Mac Among the Plants

The human happened to walk into the living room and spied a little face sticking up among the plants. She was catching some sunrays and enjoying being partially hidden by the couch.

Unfortunately for the Merkitty, the human spied her and started snapping photos.

Which just caused the Smirky one to ignore the 2-legged and pretend that she and her camera weren’t approaching.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

Big Boys Enjoy a Snooze

The Big Boys, Pepe (front) and Caesar (back) were enjoying a little snooze in the afternoon sunshine. However, as the camera-wielding human walked closer, both were on guard lest the two-legged try to pet paws and foreheads. Fortunately for them, the human was well behaved this time.

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.

What do You Mean by ‘Don’t Make that Face?’

<<<And what makes you think you have the right to say anything about me anyway?>>>

(c) Copyright 2021, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Images my own.