Living with Carnivores

A vegetarian human's adventure with cats

Category: Tormenting the Cat(s)

The Plea

This is the Merkitty. She’s just chastised the human for not leaving her office and finding food for the meows…<<at 2:30 in the afternoon, mind you!>>. First she tried cuddles. Then she tried sass. And last she tried a throaty plea for compassion.  When none of those things worked, she looked daggers at the human and called her jailer names under her breath.



(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.



It’s the human’s fault.  She was trying to add variety and hunting opportunities to the kitties’ daily repertoire.  The meows were pestering for snacks, so the 2-legged flipped the much-beloved scratching disc upside down. On the reverse side, there is a maze-like structure with a ball inside — yes, a ball with a bell! — and a series of interesting holes on top that are just the perfect size for kitty paws to explore.To entice the kitties to investigate the holes, the human put a small pile of dried organic catnip on top and then carefully — while the felines were watching — nudged raw freeze-dried meat snacks from the surface of the maze into the holes.  The kitties watched with fascination and even went over and looked inside the structure. The Merkitty hopped up, took a sniff of the ‘nip, and immediately was overcome with paroxysms of delight.  The other cats had to move back or risk getting hit by her flailing limbs and rolling body.  As she thrashed about, she would bat the ball that rolls along the track on the outside of the toy sending it spinning around the track.  Pretty quickly, she cleared the deck of other cats. Over a period of several days, the human added more snacks and more ‘nip to the surface, but she never saw a single kitty paw raised to explore.  Eventually, she fished out the snacks and turned the disc back over so the scratching surface was face up. Some hunters they are!


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Mer Smirks

This is Macaroni the Merkitty. She’s been giving the human a piece of her mind. (Sadly, the camera isn’t fast enough to capture those open-mouth plaintive cries.) The human has put the kitties on a diet. D-i-e-t is a 4-letter word and it isn’t nice. In the old days, there were bottomless crunchy bowls upstairs and down. Now food is only offered at certain times a day, and the crunchies are limited and only come with water in them. Blecht. <<Bad human!>>


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.


<<Sure, I’m not supposed to get on the table, but you put the pen cap within easy reach. You’re just tempting me.>><<And if I decide to knock it off the table and chase it around the kitchen floor until I lose it, well that really just constitutes entrapment, since you planted it in front of me where you knew I couldn’t resist.>>



(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Self-Serve Cookies

Since the morning snack is one of the highlights of both the 4-legged and 2-legged people’s day, the human tried an experiment.First she took the lid off the kitties’ snack container (aka cookie jar), then stood back to see what would happen. Many noses (followed by kitty bodies) moved over to sniff at the interesting object.Next, the human tipped the container on its side to see what they would do.  She figured the three biggest snack monsters — Caesar, Mac, and Corky — would soon help themselves. At first everyone sat around looking at this unprecedented situation.  <<Is this for real? Can we really go fishing for our own cookies?>>Corky, always up for a game involving food, stuck his paw into the container and soon hooked a snack, flipped it out, and started eating it off the rug.  
Mac was fascinated and Pepe was right there watching his brother.  Initially Caesar appeared disinterested, but he soon got involved in the goings on. Fireball moved back to sit by a chair. Perhaps he thought it was a trap.  <<No way the 2-legged will let us eat all the snacks we want. She’s being a tricky human again.>>At first Corky was unstoppable, but then Pepe muscled in and started digging for yummies too.Interestingly, no member of the Trio reached in and helped themselves, although Miss Mac got mighty close. <<First time for everything!>> The same cannot be said for the Duo, who got busy pulling snacks out and eating them. Well, the human watched and took pictures for many minutes. The two brave kitties got a fistful of snacks. The others were given a few snacks handpicked by the human. All in all, an interesting experiment for one and all.


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

You Did WHAT?

Pepe was incredulous.  The human was…well, she was the human. What more can we say?



(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Brat-a-Saurus Messes with the Silly Human

Of late, Cranky Corky (aka Brat-a-Saurus) has had a great game going with the human. He starts in anywhere from midnight on and wails plaintively about the lack of fresh crunchies in the food bowl. (No worries, he’s not sick, he just hates being on a diet.)  Never mind that there is soft food sitting in one bowl and crunchies that are now puffed up from absorbing water sitting in a second bowl right next to him. No, he wants fresh crunchies and he wants them now! If the human doesn’t respond, he literally jumps in bed and stomps on her body, then he pounces on Mac and bites her neck or he chases poor Fireball off the bed and all the way downstairs.  In short, Cranky Corky is a royal pain in the back side and a complete brat.  Only when the human gets up and dispenses a small amount of fresh crunchies does peace and quiet return — for a few hours at least. Unfortunately, the more the human acquiesces, the more frequently the Angry Ankylosaurus pulls this stunt. The other option is to lock the Crankster in the other bedroom, although then everyone has to listen to him whine and complain for several hours before he settles down.  Anyone interested in adopting cute, middle-aged male cat with grey & white tuxedo markings? I might know one who needs a new home.  (Said by a human operating on weeks of little sleep.)


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Goofy Girl & the Spin Cycle

We’ve once again had crazy ups and downs in temperature here and the last three nights we got snow — not a huge amount, but enough that the kitties got snow sillies out of it.Case in point: the Goofy Girl got all sillied up.  First she got into one of the kitty beds and started kicking around an adorable little felted toy.  Next she spun in circles chasing it around on her paws. You’d think she was in the spin cycle of a washing machine.Then she flipped upside down and gave it backfoot furnippies. And while she was kicking and biting the toy, she looked back and reached a fore paw over and bopped poor Fireball on the head. He was sitting in an adjacent kitty bed watching her antics.  She alternated kicking the toy and harassing her brother until she tired of her silliness and got up. Next she chased Fireball out of his bed, then she got into a flurry of fistacuffs with Big Caesar. Then she flew off the bed and went looking for a toy mouse to chase up and down the stairs. We could hear her making that funny moaning sound the kitties make when they’re carrying around a big “kill” (toy mouse) they’ve just vanquished. All of a sudden, Goofy Girl came flying through the air again and landed back in bed and began bothering Caesar and Fireball again, who’d returned to their soft warm beds when the little minx vanished. On and on they went for hours last night.  Of course, as soon as the human brought out the evil camera and started taking shots, Macadoodle got embarrassed she’d been caught being silly and began some gratuitous grooming. Mustn’t let humans see you being other than dignified….


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.

Give me Attention or Suffer the Consequences!

This is the once petite and sweet Juniper, who owns the human’s niece.  Said niece had been very busy with work and life and had left Princess Fluffernutter home alone a lot lately.  When that 2-legged did return home — with mail in tow — and found a magazine she wanted to read, she tossed it on the couch intending to curl up and read it.  However, the Princess wasn’t going to be ignored any longer. She hopped up and defiantly laid herself across the magazine so it was now inaccessible to the human — at least without expending some effort.

What’s the moral to this story? Ignore a cat at your peril!


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photo by M. Ray.

Why are You Bothering Me?

Needless to say, the human didn’t have a good answer…or at least one that was acceptable to Miss Mu.


(c) Copyright 2018, PeggyMalnati. All rights reserved. Photos my own.